THE HUMBUGS OF HISTORY.

Bush Advocate, Volume V, Issue 354, 16 August 1890, Page 6

THE HUMBUGS OF HISTORY.

(By L.A.R.K., in Bombat Gazette.) " Don't talk to me of your historical facts," said a paradox-loving friend of mine tea other day. ** I've seen so many so-called accepted faote upset that I really intend some fine morning to commence a bh* book on mjr own account tmder the titlo of "'The Humbugs of History.' " The idea was not perhaps altogether a bad one, although perhaps a man -would have to attain the length of years of Methnsaloh, and to lay in stock of as much w midnight oil " for the consumption of his lamp as did that famous Hebrew ooinxnentator Rabbi Chanauiah, of whom it .is recorded somewhere or other thai before heeoutraoted to write a commentary on Ezekrel he bargained for a supply of no less than 300 tins of oil, while he should be engaged 6u his pions task $ Aa one gets older one gets sadly disenchanted. The old pe.s beliefs of boyhosd fei3e eat with our dyiaj? enthusiaf&a tlie more we read, and -"all thatknow is nothing can be knowi* 1 * with HNi'jh certainty becomes thd ouckofnote of most of qb. Did not tha Americra r Mi. Emerson, take down the national pripe seTcral pegs by gravely uh©win<£ how Biiglattd s patron eaint "St. George for Merrio England" was nothing bettor than A low iiapastor, originally hailing from Cilioija, who got a lucrative contract tor supplying tbo urray of his time and country wita bad bacon ; got rich by fraud and theft and by tha <arts of a common informer; turned redigious adventurer* and bribed bis way to the Bishopric of Alexandria ; and at lass, after bet* g imprisoned for hta cdmes, was dragged out of gaol and lynched by sen arg^y raab in a.d. -301 ] Afjer this ho beoa^te in duo tamo a saint, and 69 undeservedly famous., just as in another ■way -Amerigo Yospuci, tbp piiskle- dealer at Seville, whose highest naval rank was boatßwam.s mate in an expedition that nevsr sailed, managed to supplant Gc&nmbus and bo baptise hulf the earth wit&i his owe dighone&t) name. Have we not ia our schooldays hu'jrged to our little bosoms the notion tout) Brutus stabbed Csesar purely for patrk'tfeici's tficrcd sake. And now w& musf be told forsoofcli — and, alas, but too cauvittoingly by heavy Gcrmau historical " bigwiga — that it being the custom in old Roma for tiio nobles to lend the plobiims money aft terribly usurious rates of interest^ Ceegar p;i±wed an Act forbidding this, aud was at A Buspiciously short tiiuo thereafter butchered by tho "noble" Brutus and h'u brotbjer piiwitiis. All Akonside's fiuo poefcr about Brutus w rising' refulgent from the atrok©,^ and^o oa k knocked on the head for erer noy. "Ei p» RwteS 1 and that Brutua merely « murderous bsoauso a disappointed bill-difl-coaoter — is too much for one's feelings ev&n In this unromantio age. Again how much hays we not honoured the mtmo of Mr. Thomas Gny who founded " Guy J » Hoppital," gave away princely sums in benevolence, alftt stares at us ia stone iv several stoiuee ! Yet what manner of man really was this M» Thomaa Guy P A olevor stock- jobber, _fe misar aJso, aiMi— speak it eoftly wiiii Ms fine hospital looming iv the distance — a matt who fattened on the wix»nga of tha pofnr ohoat^d English sßam«n of the day, Eormflr^y our sailors wore paid in inconvertibie pttPSjfV not gold. The reeklees jacks ashore were ofCek obliged to part with these ticketa at any wretched discount thoy could get. Tho "w^w ' and good*' Thomas Guy taimoked in thena, and became for thoso diiys s mflHoaaiaxK Howard, "the prison philaathfbpist>" loving aU tlie world yet driving Kia poor son mad by his lU-jmdgect h«4Bhoeß3i Sterna aa Byron saidj w«opinj^ ovcar a dead donkey, und yefc letting a livings mother starve j Byron Binding a copy ©1 hstr faaiDOH " Pai*o-thee-weir' verses to Ladjr Byi<on, wißh a butehtr'a bill enclosed and » slip like this, M I don't think we coald haie had ao muoh mmt tta ihis, please to seo-V it!" The great Duke of Mailboroagiinow tiolmg history in miautea and now dirtying his hnuds by peculation in anajr olotnin^ confcnutts! Algernon Sidney oc^ moment mouthing paftriofcism and another acoeptinjgf bribss from ltamce; all these lninpea ttrgAther here at random without reference t& ohrwiologica Jjtder aro te my mind •at > l^lt just cc wany humiliating humbugs of history worthy to sit cheek by jowl "witfc ©. 1)31; discounttjug Brutus, a "patriot* 1 possibjbir fi-om private gpite after all, and a 3fe. Thomas Guy giving back to the nation in tab wuy of a noble hospital wi^h one hand W^gfc he Lad in great part, ruthlessly squeezed but of h«r poor seamen with the o^ieE.