CRITICISM CORNER

Auckland Star, Volume LXXVI, Issue 146, 22 June 1945, Page 3

CRITICISM CORNER

Here are criticisms of their -work for those young writers, artists and poets who have asked for them:—

Judith Otto.—Your description o£ fear and suspense in your story, "Adventure," was quite realistic, and you conveyed the atmosphere well, Judith. You will be awarded a merit card on these grounds. However, there was not sufficient plot to make it a really good story, and here and there your style was rather stilted. With practice you will probably develop a more natural way of expressing yourself. Joy Swan. —Your drawing of Pinnochio was quite well done, Joy, and you will receive a merit card for it. We prefer more original subjects, however. . The Walt Disney characters are well-known to our readers, and we like to publish drawings which come from the imagination of bur young artists, or are taken from life. Try something different next time, and also remember to state your age Karen Thomson.—Your poem on "The Old Violin" will be published, Karen, but we are giving you this criticism because there is a fault you should note. By giving the violin a "personality," as it were, calling it "he" and so on, you make it difficult to tell whether it is the violin or the violin's owner that is being referred to. You will see how we have altered it. Apart from that, the poem reads well and flows smoothly. Dawn Buckman. —Of your poems Ttie Rain" was the best, Dawn, and you will be awarded a merit card for it. The subject was not very unusual, but the metre was better than in the others. Read them over to yourself again and I'm sure you'll see that the metre was uneven— some of the lines were too long.