WISECRACKS FROM THE WEEK'S NEWS

Auckland Star, Volume LXXVI, Issue 88, 14 April 1945, Page 4 (Supplement)

WISECRACKS FROM THE WEEK'S NEWS

Hangover! * * * * Dyed-in-the-wool Nazis must be feeling a bit sheepish. j|c * + * Wonder -Whether Adolph ever thought that a rising, young dictator could come to earth with such a bang * Theme song of delegates to the San Francisco conference "California, Here I come.' * * * * Japanese admirals seem to be having difficulty in keeping their heads above water. * * * * Whatever German militarists hitch their waggon to, it isn't likely to be the Red Star. * * * * Hitler has once more dedicated himself to the German people. What we'd call hitting them while they are down. * * * * Butchers have now been advised by their association to accept the subsidy payment. They won't be making any more bones about it. * * * * "Hitler Has Played Last Card."— Headline. Euchred, so to speak. * * * * The Ninth Army has taken Hamm. Officially known as bringing home the bacon. * * * * Dissatisfaction has been expressed by footwear workers over the new rates of pay. They feel somebody should be brought to heel. * * * * A reduced production of honey, due to the. wet season, has been reported. Things could be stickier. * * * * Parisian dressmakers are to pay an additional 10 per cent tax on turnover. Business is just sewsew! * * * * "Swiss Deny Offering Asylum to Mussolini." —Headline. Dumb Dora thinks this is a tall one—even Musso wouldn't want one of those all to himself. * * * * Several men employed at a poulterer's establishment at Sydney are each earning £30 a week plucking fowls. One way of feathering your nest. * * * * A message from New York says tropical disease-bearing mosquitoes will be eliminated in the future by the use of records of the female mosquitoe's love call, whereby the males will be lured into traps. Enough to make any self-respecting mosquito a woman-hater for life. * * * * Sydney police recently apprehended 121 starting price bookmakers in one day. One of those arresting totals! * * * * Builders will not be satisfied until they see shipments of much needed cement. They want to see somei thing concrete. * * * * At one stage in the Russian advance, it appeared that the Russians might by-pass the Austrian capital. A sort of Viennese blind!