FUN FOR WINTER NIGHTS

Auckland Star, Volume LXXII, Issue 109, 10 May 1941, Page 2 (Supplement)

FUN FOR WINTER NIGHTS

A man who had been called for jur.v scrvi'-e asked to be excused. "On what grounds?" asked the judge. •Were very busy at the works, sir. and 1 ought to be. there." "So you're one of those men who think, they are indispensable: you imagine the firm can't do without you. is that it?" "No. sir: Tar from that. T know very well they can. but 1 don't want them to find out." "Excused," said the judge. The town-dwellers were showing their country cousins over their luxurious flat. "They must ask you a lot for the rent of this place." remarked one of the visitors. "I'm afraid they do: last quarter they asked at least a dozen times." The .milliner was showing her choicest creations. "Here's a smart little thing madam," she said. "Oh. I couldn't think of wearing that; it's far too much like a hat." The touring cyclist had lost his way. and inadvertantly entered a private road. Suddenly he was confronted by an irate owner. The man spread his arms wide. "Back you go. young man." he roared, "back you go. You'll not proceed except, over my dead body." The cyclist gave a snort of contempt. "Very good." he replied. "If it's like that I'll go back. fve done enough hill climbing for one day "

The hoy was obviously not suited to the job. and the employer told him so. "You told me when I employed you that you were very handy."' he said. "So I am, sir." replied the boy. "1 live just'opposite." The page boy had carried the new visitor's luggage to his room. "Now. my boy," said the man, "what is your name?" John Smith," replied the page boy. "but they call me billiard cue because 1 always work better with a tip." Old Lady (reading newspaper*: Well, well, I never knew that flremon were so childish. Husband: Whatever do you mean? Old Lady: It savs here that after the fire was extinguished the firemen played on the ruins for some hours. Wife: T want to take the car to town to-day and do some shopping. if the weather is fine. What do the papers say? Husband: Rain. hail, thunder and lightning. (From Ray Goodger. Great South Rd.. Pspakura.) Jim: Did your brother keep cool when he met the bear? Joe: Cool! Why, he was so cool that his teeth chattered. Skipper: What are you doing now my lad? Cabin Boy: Nothin'. except the cook told me to wake him up when I saw yer comin'!

Old Boarder: What's for breakfast? I hope not ham and eggs again! Maid: No sir, not ham and eggs this morning. Old Boarder: What is ir! then? Maid: Only ham, sir.