A Chuckle Or Two For Sunbeams

Auckland Star, Volume LXXI, Issue 70, 23 March 1940, Page 2 (Supplement)

A Chuckle Or Two For Sunbeams

(Sent in by D. Kirker. Dominion Koad East, Mount Koskill.) Mother: Tommy, are you eating the jam? Tommy: No, I've got mv hand stuck in the jar and can't get it out. .Tack: Uncle, will vun sing for us? Uncle: Yes, but why? .lack: Well. Bill and I are. playing ships and we want a fog-horn!

V ■ —■.««.■.».■.,«■«,■«.,„„..,.., '1 (Sent in by Ivo Joyce, 30, Morivale Avenue, Lpsom.) Tenant: I want you to reduce my rent. ( Landlord: What for* Tenant: Well, the people next door •lave an oight-yoar-old boy. Landlord: What of that? Tenant: I Baw some men moving a piano in tliere yesterday. Professor Snore is very absent-minded. I His son i-uhliuil into bis stu<ly one morniiifi and exclaimed. ".Tust tliink, father, , I've .swallowed a pin!" "All, well," replied die big man, "don't worry about it. Here's another." Geoffrey-. Father, liicy sny history repeals itself, don't tbey? Father: Y-ce, my son." i Geoffrey: Well, wjry- doesn't H, repeat itseS-whon F-m-tiyiiig tn-learn-iU ' :

(Sent in by Minis Dulii, To Hnna.) Small Sou: Mummy, there's a mar at the door asking for you. Mother: Has lie a bill*? Small Son: Oh no, just an ordinary nose! Tyro Flyer: Goodness! Our controls are frozen! Doctor Passenger: Just rill) them, my boy. That'll bring back the circulation, (Sent in by Dorccn Jones, 08, Mauuu Road, Whnngarel.) "You look as though a goat had been chasing you." •'Chasing me? He caught me!" First Student: I've been trying to think of ii word for two weeks.' Second Student: Rood-night. (Copied by Maureen Kellelier, Faulkner Bond, Northeote.) A little boy was asked by his teacher to describe both sides of a penny. "On one side of it is the king's' head." "Very good, indeed," said the teacher. "On the other side is a young lady riding a bicycle, and they call her 'Ruby Tanyer.' " (Sent in by Colin dc l_.uc.-i, Mr. Itosklll). "Why don't you give up smoking''" "It's too late now." "It's never too late." "Well, then—what's the hurry!" «ig C'ame Hunter: —and then, just as it was about to spring, I .-potted the leopard. liored Listener: Nonsense, leopards have always been spotted. (Sent' in by Trevor Quliill, ::, Tennyson Street, llalinoral.) John: I go to the well everv morning and pull up 20 gallons of water. Tom: That's nothing. Every morning I £et'a-boat«andpnll ud-the-river.

"Como upstairs and let me wash your n hands," said the, mother when " she arrived with her little daughter for tea at grandmother's, y "I don't want to go up," wailed Winnie, aged four. "Let her wash them in the kitchen." culled grandmother. "Sho can do it 5 jest- as well.'.' "No." her motiier said, firmly. "I y want her to come up with me." l " Winnie, went upstairs slowlv. Turning, to her mother, she asked, "Why don't you obey your mother?" The shopper had reason to complain. "This is a small loaf for fonrponcen halfpenny," she said. "Well, you'll not liavo so much to carry," replied the shopkeeper, smilingly trying to pass it oil'. I "Here's threepence," replied the shop- :> per. "You'll not have, so much to count." BOOKS YOU SHOULD READ. (By Shirley. Arnold, So, Tiikapa Street, r .New I'lyiuoiiih.) "Equine Affection," by lona Horsey. » "The Spinster,"' bv Norman J'ennee. "The Missing Cat'," bv Ivu Tabbee. "The Housepainter." bv Kileen Aladda. "All Open Verdict," bv Ida Knowe. "The Surprise," by Jakkin A. lloxc.