THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXX, Issue 201, 26 August 1939, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.)

In one vorv short article the other day a contemporary used the word casket for coffin three time*. A coffin is not a casket. A casket is a email 'box CASKETS. or chest especially ornamented, and used for jewels, trinkets or other small articles of value. By extension it becomes a receptacle for something of value, as "the casket of memory." Shakespeare, in "The Merchant of Venice,'" has written: "Therefore, I pray you. lead mc to the caskets, to try my fortune.' It would be as reasonable to call a coffin a treasure chest as a caskct, and less offeii>i\e, because the use of the word casket for coffi.i is just a jrenteelism. invented in America, where they call undertakers morticians, and offer you hygienic interment. —Touchstone. WILL THEY? The flags will flv and syrens scream. And bands be there to play. When "Walter steps ashore again With cash for a rainv day. No trouble to "Walter to raise that cash. He taught England a thing or two: He forced the Banker?- to ante up. And soon settled poor Montagu. Just note how he kept the interest down. No chance had the Bankers with Nash, And that hard old chap. Mister Montagu. Soon dug up the requisite cash. But. now there's the paving back to be done At three or four millions a year: More scheming to do. finding taxes new. Like they did with the benzine and beer. For now we pay taxes on all that we buy. And a sales tax on all that we sell: Will we have to license our wheelbarrows. And perhaps our lawnmowers as well'! At a later date we'll be told our fate. And the source of new revenue: Will they put. on our windows, a. special tax. And a Charge on our chimneys, too? —THE TOMTIT.

In one of Ibsen's clever plays that I witnessed at the Oarrick Theatre (London) an arresting truism impressed me profoundly: '"The suit that is not paid A COMPLEX. for never fits!" My pal,

the piano tuner, has frequently told me that when his account is not paid 011 completion of his job ho finds trouble in collecting it later. According to the owner, the instrument lias developed a variety of aches and pains. His brother, a well-known dentist, has the fame experience when the ■patient does not <piy cash, the debtor declaring that the denture tears his jaws to ribbons! 'flic lady who owes her dressmaker for making a frock mostly states that "it is a shocking fit." and she won't pay her a penny, not even if she ''takes her to Court." The plumber we employed at the cottage has not sent in his account. My near relative does nol like the colour of his spouting and waste pipes, and says, threateningly, "Wait till he asks for his money." Personally, I opine that the tradesman in question carried out a workmanlike job.—A.A.P.

Do men ever cease to be boys? After twelve years of married life the wife of a Bayswater resident recently presented her

hubby with a. son and THE WELCOME, heir. His friends felt that

this was an occasion that certainly could not 'pass without some sjiecial recognition. While hubby was taken out to the nursing home by an obliging car owner friend to return with mother and babe, the rest of the pang rallied round. 011 the return of the family party they found a large Union Jack floating proudly at the gate, a string of flags firmly fixed to a spar and tree across tlie entire front of the home and castle, and a large sign of welcome to His Majesty well and truly nailed 011 the front of the house.. With punga decorations and a carpet 011 the steps, the setting was complete to give one little stranger a really fitting reception to his home. It is even stated that the wee chap has, with all solemnity, been clected a "future playing member"' of the local "school"' to which his father belongs, where "three of a kind are very welcome, so long as they come often enough!— Leo. Busy journalists 011 an evening paper seldom have time to do as much "polishing" to their pars, as they would wish. In fact it is a matter of conTHE gratulation that in the "THUNDERER." rush they turn out such even work as we read. In an evening sheet in Fleet Street an informal system of "brights" was the vogue—a "bright" being a. perfectly turned out par. The system sometimes extended to the headline*. This *s the story; it is not a new one, but will bear repeating: A deaf man applied for exemption from war service. The Brass Hat in charge objected on the grounds that a deaf battalion was just as much a possibility as the newlyformed Bantam Battalions. The story was headed: "Deaf or Glory Boys—Ear Trumpeter. What Are You Sounding Xow?" This in the rush hours of an evening paper—it was the London "Star." by the way. A famous journalist of thirty years' standing 111 Fleet Street admits he would rather have that heading to his credit than anv one success he achieved. While 011 the subject of the London Press, "The Times" was dubbed the "Thunderer" not because of its ponderous leading and other articles but 'because one morning a leading article opened with the words. "We thundered forth the other day an article on the subject of social and politi al reform'"—and the "Thunderer" "The Times" remains.—J. WAV.

Pleased I am that the Government will presently do something to take over the tasks that the acclimatisation societies do now •perform, and, mentining DICTATORS. the matter to Biggs, he do agree with me that it be not a good thing that so many privileges be held in the hands of such individuals as"shall have banded themselves into societies. For why. says lie. should one small section of the community be given the right to dictate to all the rest of the community as to whetlier and where it shall shoot and fish, and how. Not, he do admit, that it would be a good thing to remove the restraints from shooting and fishing, but rather would he see more restraints, especially with the shooting that lie a sport that so many hold not with" For it do seem to be a wanton cruel thin jr. just us a means of enjoyment, to slauphtei- birds and beasts; for the ducks especially that these fellows do shoot in such numbers be tractable creatures and more tame than wild things, as their friendliness do ever prove. Some things, such as the rabbits and the doer we must continue ruthlessly to destrov, for here it he a matter of a war between the beasts and mankind, for both the rabbits and the deer do menace the very existence of man by the ravages that thev *do make on the growing things. But for the ducks they should 'be protected at all places that are near the habitation of man, for the ducks on the streams and in the ponds do add mightily to the amenities, and I cannot think of an'v harm they do. And so, if the brake be put upon the acclimatisation fellows to the end that they shall be induced to seek some more truly sporting method of enjoying themselves, it will be all to the good, and less slaughter of innocent and inoffendmg things will there be m the land.—B.O'N. ! A THOUGHT FOR TO DAY. | Think truly, and thy thoughts i 'Shall the world's famine feed; Speak truly, and each word of thine Shall be a fruitful eeed; Live truly, and thy life shall be A gre%t and noble creed. ■* —Dr. Horatins Bonar.