The Two Bills

Auckland Star, Volume LXX, Issue 201, 26 August 1939, Page 11 (Supplement)

The Two Bills

An effusion by "Old Wire Whiskers" (Captain R. McKenzie Cliffe). One day I was down on the waterfront, And / heard an awful row. fw sailor § were having an argument, And the subject was—a eowf Bald one: "My cow it the beet I know, Bhe gives twenty gallons a day! Becatmc J can't use all of it, 1 have to throw it away!" The other man cried: "But you should tee mine/ She's the finest cow in the world; Her akin it looks like coloured cretonne And both her horns are curled! "My cow is a liberal sort of beast — She gives sixty gallons a day I It's all made into butter and eheete, And 1 don't throw any awayt "You know I live on the top of • hill, There's a groeer'e store below; 1 get my stores from the grocer— He's the finest man / know. -My milk goee into two big drums Till both I nearly fill. Then I etop the bungs and give 'em a push, And away they roll down the hill. "I keep 'em rolling down that hilt; If they stop I push 'em some more. And, would you believe it, they finally stop Right at the grocer's door I 44 1 follow them down and open them up. I tell you it's a beautiful 'wheeae,' For one drum is chock full of butter—~ The other one chock full of cheese I" I asked a man who was standing by Who these wonderful men could be. Be gave to his pants a bit of a hitch, And 'twas thus he answered me: "The first who spoke is 'Blathering Bill'— You can nee he's a real live wire; But the other one makes him sound like a babe— They call him 'Billy the Liar.'"