ON COLLARS AND TIES

Auckland Star, Volume LXX, Issue 201, 26 August 1939, Page 3

ON COLLARS AND TIES

IN the office the other day a colleague approached me, scissors in hand. "Allow me," he said, "to cut that tab off youi collar. I see it's been worrying you. I always cut mine off." It had. After a hurried breakfast I had wrestled with the tab of my collar • while Time's winged chariot—in the shape of my bus —drew near, and I had come to work with one loose-half-dressed, as they say in the Army. So we cut off the offending tab, and if honour wasn't satisfied, appearances were. But when my colleague said gently that he used one of those studs that goes in and then turns round and locks itself, so to speak. I replied, ''No!" with emphasis. No gadgets for me. I hate gadgets, and from pull-out push-in studs to patent lighters they hate me. "I never loved a dear • gazelle, but it was sure to die." I have 1 never had a gadget but it was sure to go wrong. Neck Or Nothing Who invented tabs for men's collars, and had he any motive besides the usual one of making money ? Did he wish men to return to the high cravats of Regency and Early Victorian times, from which slowly and painfully emancipated themselves ? -Looking at the military uniforms of those days with their high stocks, one wonders how on earth men lived in

By - - Cyrano

them, let alone fought; yet they did fight, and fight well, from Minden to the Crimea, by way of New Zealand. Even in the heat of India some commanding officers would not let their men unfasten their stocks. But, unless artists have exaggerated, civilians were in as bad a case; they were swathed in cravate up to the chin. I suppose the old stand-up, single-fold collars that used to be the wear, descended from these adornments. They were very uncomfortable, especi- • ally when, after many launderings, they developed a serrated edge. There should e l»e a plate on the birth-places of the men o who invented the wing and the double ,f collars. I remember wlien the double e collar came in, and how odd it looked, e We were accustomed to spread-out ties, i. and waistcoats cut pretty low so that ;z the tie could be seen in all its beauty and flambuoyancy; it seemed wrong that the lg tie should be squeezed into a tight knot. However, the double collar came and cone quered. It had the advantage of a comfortable ed&e, and the disadvantage that , e it sometimes needed a steam winch to n pull the tie into place. A few men still cling to the old style of collar; perhaps .j. it is that they laid in a few dozen some r _ time ago; perhaps it is a method of ' r mortifying the flesh. e Why wear a collar, dress reformers

• often ask. Well, if you're going to do i away with collars you must do away with jackets, for the function of the i collar is to keep the collar away from the i neck. Moreover, if you discard the jacket you'll still want to wear some sort of

collar; nothing could be uglier than a shirt without one. detached or fixed. Two things should; be required of a collar, that it be low and fairly loose. That a soft collar is necessarily more comfortable than a starched one is a fallacy. A stiff collar stands out from the neck, but a soft one, with the tie pulled tight, is apt to press too much. But if the double collar is king in the day time, the wing collar is queen at right. Fashion decrees that wing collars shall be the only evening werr, and she has prevailed to such an extent that a double collar with a dress tie seems as out of place as browu boots. As to shirts, let this generation of men thank heaven they did not live forty or fifty years ago, when starched shirts were the common wear. Think of working in a boiled shirt, with its stiff fron's and cuffs, in the sticky-heat of an Auckland February or a bad Canterbury norwester. Those gyves on the wrists! And think of the ironing it involved at home! Stiff shirts, however, are still the wear for evening dress, and no crusade can shift them. My friend the Colonel, who told me the story the other day of the Tommy who started to carve his name on a priceless old door in an Indian palace, gives me a vivid description of dressing for dinner in that country—a hot night, very stiff shirt and collar, and unpunctuality at mess a crime. However, I don't pity such sufferers much; at least they have batmen to look after their clothes. Here is a tip from the Colonel, which I pass on. A good batman moistens each button-hole so that the stud may pass through more easily. Another reason for having a Bunter! He tells me also that a shirt must button down the front; you are not allowed to seek an easier way by wearing a backfastening garment. The reason is that studs put into the 'front of a backfastener are regarded as dummies and fakes, and are therefore unacceptable. It would be interesting if this principle were appjied widely in life; what a lot of things we should abolish! Where Wives Are Necessary The there ie the tying of ties. 1 do not tie my dress ties, because I have never been able to master the art. I am advised to practice on the back of a chair, but I find that the back of a chair bears no relation to my neck, unless perhaps in its woodenness. Use a mirror, says someone, but mirrors have an exasperating way of- reversing things. So somebody else ties my ties. I have been rather ashamed of this inability to do eomething which millions of men, from waiters to Prime Ministers, do frequently and easily, but recently I was comforted by a revelation made to me by the wife of a well-known public man. For many years he had to wear dress clothes regularly, but he has never learned to tie his ties. His wife always does it for him. She has had to leave interesting social engagements to go home and do it for him. It is no wonder most wives regard their husbands as children. I suppose U<= keeps a ready-made tie for the rare occasions when she isn't home, though the use of such an article is calculated to send strong shudders through purists in dress. They tell a story of a very popular New Zealand Governor, who noticed i that a guest at his table was wearing i a ready-made tie that was working ! round his neck. "Beastly nuisance, ties, . aren't they?'' said his Excellency. "I , always wear an elastic one," and he , pulled his own tie out and let it spring L back. This is an interesting variant of the : etoi"-- of King Edward VII. and the . ranker officer and the finger bowl, which • in turn may be a variant of something - much older, but unfortunately the Ne»v t Zealand story is much less likely. Per- > haps it will be added to our scanty store I of folk-lore, like the tale of the New ; Zealander who played bridge on his first s night in England, did not inquire what ? they were playing for, and found himself 1500 up at the end of the evening— at . a pound a hundred.

Perhaps among the advantages of being a New Zealander in England is this, that you can wear a ready-made dress tie without being shown the door. "A colonial, you know." Still, I wouid like to be able to tie my tie.