Short Story — Second-Sight Scandal

Auckland Star, Volume LXX, Issue 182, 4 August 1939, Page 15

Short Story — SecondSight Scandal

— By D. MATTHEWS

| " ain't what thev | i> were." -aid Ceorgie Maunder. laboriously folding his ropy of the I Late Night Special and depositing it with an air of contempt on the Soup and Ladle's shove ha'penny table. "In the old days they'd give yon the new* straight out. like what was going to win the three-thirty. \ow "they 'edges around and it's and huts, so's you 'ave to be almost a mindreniler to sec what the man wants you to hack. "If," said George darkly, " V wants you to back anything. No, newspapers ain't what they were." They was. said the guv'nor. stiaightening himself up from drawing George's second pint of old-aiid-miid. I met a few journalists 'ere from time to time, and I only come acinus one that knew the future for certain. No gue.-.-work. 'is wasn't, neither: genuine. tw enty-uin'.er-proof secondsight 'e'd got and used it in 'is tine of business 'abitual. Yet even V came a cropper in the end. by reason of the future letting 'im down. 'E was a long. lean chap by the name of 'Oratio Black (the guv'nor continued), and 'e worked on the weekly paper over in the town. To look at 'im. you'd think 'e'd been born too tired to li.t an 'and. till yon saw the way V muled 'is bitter. Regular steam crane \> was at that job. I see im in 'ere one evening a Tier the vicarage fete, so I ask 'im. by way of conversation, whether 'e's over "ere to do a report of it. • • • • "No." 'e says, as calm as you please. "I did that report last night." Thir. evening," 'e says, "I'm reporting a concert by the municipal band, this being a more agreeable spot to listen to 'Andel's melodious strains than the cackling benches of the Civic Pavilion. Where. 7 might also observe, there ain't no licensed bar." " 'Old aid," I interrupts 'im. "I don't want to spoil your 'armless fun, but they're not broadcasting that concert, not that<T-know of." "Of course, they ain't." 'c says. "No more did the vicar broadcast last night that Miss 'Iggins would win the sack race, 'er opponents being all such 'eavyweights they thumped their way through their sacks, like I wrote I*2 good hours before it appened. What it is." 'e says, "I enjoy the gift of second sight, bestowed on me at my christening by an aged gipsy. And a very labour-saving improvement 1 find it in my profession, too." I was a bit took back at that, talking over my own bar to a chap that might see the inside of my 'ead. "Come on," I says, to jolly 'im, "give us the winner of to-morrow's big race, then." With that 'e looks all put out. "There I'm sorry I can't oblige you." '« says, "for such is the curse laid upon me that I must never use my super'umaii gift for my own private profit, otherwise it'll all go wrong. "Use it in my ordinary line of business 1 may, to save myself needless trouble and expense, and if my dad 'ad set me up in the professional punting game, Fd 'ave been a millionaire before now. Un'appily I didn't discover. my powers till after Fd lici'ii made a journalistt, so I can't help you about that 'orse! • • • • "Though if it's any consolation," 'e says, brightening up. "I can tell you what the soprano's singing at the concert at this moment. It's ' 'Ark, 'Ark the Lark,' and she's just tripped over 'er train, reaching for the 'igh C." Later, I 'ad to apologise to 'Oratio for doubting 'im. But I tell 'im it seems so strange a man not being able to use 'is gift for the purpose for which it was made.

calling the rals by name

"ft : as its uses, all the same." 'e says. "1 reckon it saved me Ave pound u year in shoe leather unci I>uk fares. in.i 'living to go to places to 'ear tliinjrs "ii|i]>eii. Me not being of an energetic nisi ( if character, that means a lot to inc. ■•Were jt not for the fact that I like a spell in the open air occasional and the company of my fellow-'iiiuans in ii sung bar, I should do all nv,- reporting in hrd," 'e savs. '-And then, of course. 1 'ave to show myself about a bit to keep the confidence of my employers. My boss, 'e 'as implicit'faith in me." T didn't, see. 'Oratio for a month or so after that, the guv'nor went oil. and then 'e comes into the bar one evening again. "What are you reporting to-night?" 1 asks 'iin. •"Council meeting."' 'e says, "and well worth your tuppence it'll be to read it to-morrow. They're impeaching the Mayor, on account of the rats in the new council 'ouses. They've discovered 'e 'ad the rats installed 'imself on the O.T. with the 'ot and cold water, so as to provide employment for a rat-catcher pal of 'is at an 'uge fee. 'K and the Mayor were going to split the cash, but now it'll all by reason of this rat-catcher being a bit incautious and calling the rats by name, 'e "aving done the installation. 'In "alf an 'hour's time." 'e says, looking nt 'is watch, "the Mayor's getting up to make 'is speech, showing 'is disdain for the un'oly allegations by [laying the entire rat-catching 'onorariuin out of 'is own pocket. Then 'e's offering 'is resignation, amid the "oots of the council and the populace." "Sounds like a good bit of free fun," I says, ••but one thing I can't bring myself to believe—the Mayor loosing 'old of that money. I never knew 'im to 'and any cash back since 'e sold me a bag of bad plums as a boy. 'im being ! then be'ind the counter of 'is father's shop." "Well, it's what r e does, gives the money back,'' says 'Oratio. "Bet you a dollar 'e don't," I says. "Done,' says 'e, "only it's a cert," and with that we says good night. Sure enough next morning it was all over the posters, the guvnor went on. "Amazing Scenes in Council," they says. "Mayor Resigns Amid Uproar"; "Imported Rats to Line Pockets"; "To Pay For Vermin From Own Purse." I'm feeling for my dollar when suddenly Sam Willis comes in, the town banker. "Extraordinary doings over our way," "e says. "So [ see from the paper," I tells "im. "Seems the late Mayor's a lover of animals, quite 'olesale." "The late Mayor!" Sam says. "Why. "aven't you 'eard? The 'ole report's made up! A page and a solid 'alf, and not a single word of truth in it. All my eye and Edgar Wallace," >Sam says. "There was some fuss about rats, but they "ushed it up as close as clams, and yesterday evening they agrees not to discuss it at the last moment, so's not to wash their dirty linen in public. • • • • " 'Ow it got in the papers," Sam says. "I don't know, but there's 'ell to pay. Th« editor, 'e's resigned already, and the 'cad reporter, 'e's been took to 'ospital. shouting about selling 'is gifts for petty gain. Which, seems a funny way of putting it." And then it conies over me, the guv'nor said, that when 'Oratio took that bet of mine, 'e was using 'is second sight for private profit, and all the good's gone out of it, like what "e says. And I feels a bit guilty, making 'im run about on 'is flat feet for the rest of 'is life to do 'is work. Till I thinks that p'raps 'e won't get another job as a reporter for a long time.