Laugh With.\ The World

Auckland Star, Volume LXX, Issue 165, 15 July 1939, Page 19 (Supplement)

Laugh With.\ The World

A lough Tune Ahead "I intended, dear, making some sponge cake to <lav." said Mrs. Newly-wed, "but I'm afraid it's been h failure." "Oh, how's that, my love?" asked hubby rather di-ap|H)inted, for he wih fond of sponge caki". ' "Well, you see, I think the chenii-t has sent me tiie wrony kind of sponges .'*' ♦ + + ♦ Might be Worse Brown: What makes you look so blue and sulky lately? Smith: I have six grownup daughters, none <>f them married, or likely to be from what I can see. Brown: And you are blue and sulky over it? You are the most ungrateful mortal that ever breathe;!. I have seven daughters, all married, all have children, and I've got to support the whole crowd. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

An Obliging Lodger Mr*. Mimlit: You'll ha\e In srHlii up I iii- u.'.'k en,l nr lea\e; J want the I1M»MI"V fur Mil-1 IT. Broken Hv.Hi-fl•■-•: Thanks awfully. The I'.Mi lil.-t plare- I wu.-S at lUilllu !l!l« ll'i Imtll. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ Believe It Or Not '"I oiici , owned a lovely rln^, ,, said tlie continued fabricator, "Hi- was \erv ijllift. and till , liovs in tile street would lie till cans l.i lii» tail. Well, would von liclifNe that ho <jot so u«eil to it that when lie saw a tin call lie would bad ii|ht Lij> to it.' , ♦ ♦ ♦ + Proud of His Post Jimmy, ajioil foiuteen. ha<l jn>t got ins first job in an ollice. One Sunday rnoruinpf, down the road, he nodd<>d easuallv to a silk-liattod gentleman who jiiiHsprl him and liis friend. "W'lio's that -, iiski'd his frioiul. '".fust a pollpn<rup of mino." • limmy. "He >ipfii.s the letters 1 pustl -, + + + + At a Disadvantage Fred: Ktliel, I'm asliamed of ynu. I >a\v that Frrnchman in the hall kissing you repeatedly. Why didn't you tell him \o stnpv Ktliel: I couldn't, Fred. Kred: Vmi couldn't 1 Why not? Ethel: I can't speak French,

Having None Of It A determined-looking woman was ;i ha \ ill"; trouble in finding a seat in the a train when a porter approached. *; ■'Here, muni,' , he suggested, "it's t<lo full here. Come with me and I'll fix you up in front of t!ie train." "Indeed you won't," she answered indignantly. "I'm no mascot!"' ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ All Right A weary-looking man bustled into the newspaper office and exclaimed, pantingly,. "1 waiit this advertisement, put in your paper immediately. "Five hundred pounds will be given to anyone-who will bring back Mrs. So-and-So's black j'eke.' " "But," the clerk interrupted, "isn't fa\ that a big sum to pay for a dog?" Tlie advertiser leant confidingly over . the t counter. * IIK "it's all right." he whispered softly. " li "I drowned the darned thing." ' , " 0 hii * * * + a ] Quite at Home ™l itflliagcr: That, young woman whom im I placed at this counter a year ago already knows more about the business by than vim do, and I find that I shall have po to put her at the head of the, depart- en luent. though I fear it will be rather he unpleasant for you to be under her an orders, after being in charge so long, de Clerk: Oh. no, not the slightest, sir; '«' I am getting used to that. We were tei married last spring.

Disgusted Tramp (to lady who has given him an old shirt): Er — which 'orse do you want it to go on, lady — the favourite? - —"London Opinion." " the Local Football Match J'lie local police were playing the al blioji at-siistants and seemed well itched, apart from one young reserve Hie shop assistants' «ide who had rriedly been pressed into service. This said youth was the possessor of icad of fair, wavy hair, and an irritat- '. habit of toeing his head girlishly TV few minutes to clear the afore■ntioned waves from his eyes. Hi" further infuriated the spectators his ability of scuttling out of any jsible contact with his burly oppouts. However, despite his extreme care. received a slight kick on the ankle cl, grimacing, he bent down and tenrly rubbed the joint, whereupon a icons voice asked: ""What's the niat- ■, luv? Laddered yer stocking?" ♦ ♦ -f •¥ Taking It Easy An officer on board a battleship was drilling his men. "I want every man to lie on his back, put his legs in the air, and move them as if he were riding a bicycle," he explained. "Now begin!" After a short effort one of the men stopped. "Why have you stopped, Cassidy?" asked the officer. j "If you plaze," was- the reply, "Oi'm free-wheeling." I