THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXX, Issue 31, 7 February 1939, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.)

The trip to New Zealand several years ago of the celebrated Mr. George Bernard Shaw and the many "Shavian" stories circulated at the time, is recalled by "GJi.S." the experience of a prominent Egyptologist, Mr. Leslie Greener, who is at present visiting New Zealand. "I was in Luxor, on the banks of the Nile, at the time." Mr. Greener related. "I had heard that 'G.B.S.' was staying at one of the hotels in the city, but had not been luckv enough to see him. One day, however, when I was copying some relief* on the wall of a temple, I heard footsteps, and. looking round, saw the old man himself, not being led along by the guide, but leading him! Mr. Shaw was givinar the fellow, who was so amazed that he did not know what to do, a very learned lecture on the art and history of the ancient Esrvptians. The spectacle was so strange that I nearly fell off my ladder with laughter."—Tt.A.D. Talking of Anniversary Day and the weather dealt out to patrons of the Ellerslie racecourse, some trainers believe in giving their horses plenty _.>f I HORSE SENSE, swimming exercise. The theory is that when the animal swims every muscle is brought into play. -Apparently there is such a thing as over-training a neddv by this method, for it is reported that at East Boston a horse which had been indulging in a° little surfbathing had to be rescued by the coastguard. •Fu-t bow the rescue was effected we are not told. The news, however, reminds me of an incident which occurred many years ago at one of our own marine suburbs. By some unfortunate mischance a draughthorse and dray went over the end of the wharf in«.o the Waitemata. The local policeman arrived in a hurry and promptly threw the horse a I lifebelt! —B.C.H.

A correspondent forwards the following from Cecil Hadley's page "Here, There and Any Old Where,'' in the English Sunday newspaper "People," which AT PLAY. claims a circulation of three millions: "The niggali !wys liave been blotting their jolly old copybooks aiain. What! Forgetting all thev were told at their alinah inatahs. What! Behaving like common soccah players. What! Mi ml you. it happened in Xew Zealand, but I gnes>» ruggah play aha are the only gentlemen over there as they are in England. Must he right, because the head of their union has I teen tellins them off. 'Pears that one team havocked an! behaved common in a hotel thev called at. Left b?dr<>nms in a filthy condition, although they weren't staying the night there, awl knocked off graces, saltcellars, pepper pots, ornaments and the top of the chief pilaster (whatever that may be) of the staircase. Another team called up a hotel in the middle of the night, and. lteeause they were refused booze, they blackguarded the licensee. Up cads! What!" Xo comment.

Once again the New Zealand Army is to have a kilted unit, and, rightly, intending members will have to prove their Scottish descent. Reminds me of SCOTTIES FLEE, when the Shanghai Scottish was first suggested. As soon as the news was published every drapery shop in Shanghai was raided for tartan ties. They sold out on the first day, and Shanghai awoke the next day to the sight of half the Eurasian youths of Shanghai resplendent in tartan ties pf clans recognised and clans unknown. As the Eurasians in the main took the colouring and features of their mothers, the sight was incongruous, to sav the least of it. They were Macs all right in name, but none of them had ever seen Scotland. : Something had to be done about it, deeided the proposers of the new company, and so a rale was brought in that no one could join the Shanghai Scottish unless he had lived two or more years in Bonnie Scotland. Finish was written to the Eurasian hopes of parading in a kilt before admiring girl friends, ami tartan ties were at a discount. Most of them went to help make the patchwork winter f|nilt of the Chinese amah (nurse). The man ! selected to command the Shanghai Scottish was a died-in-the-woot Hielandman. He forbade the wearing of any nether garments nnder the kilt. Came the day the new-born company had its first participation ip manoeuvres. This was early in 1914. The Light Horse (British and American). A Com- , panv (European British), the Customs (Cosmopolitan). Maritime (Cosmopolitan), Scottish. American and Chinese Companies were

opposed by tli-e B Company (mostly Eurasian British) and tlio (ierman. Austro-Hungarian, Italian an<L Japanese Com panics. It was a night affair rn midsummer. The Shanghai Scottish were on the defence, entrenched behind a ntitd wall. Canoe the mosquitoes ill their thousand*?. The Scottish beware to .set restive. The order for strict silence beiian to be disregarded by weH-rourwled Scottish oaths. The kilted men ~tof.nl up, the better to scratch themselves. Human nature eonkl not long stand it. With veils of anguish and inswlted pride tine Shanghai Scottish fled—fled ipnominiously from their fiendish tormentors —and so their first time in action was "dis- ' graced - ' by a retreat in fa.ee of the enemy. After that the Shanghai Scottish vrore undies! I —Islefort.

A newspaper paragraph earlier in the week reviewing Stewart Island oyster prospects made one all reminiscent about those days when one lived in the OYSTER DERBY. Oyster Belt. In those days—and perhaps it is still the case—the opening day of the season

was marked by the running of the Oyster Derby, a race unique in the whole wide world. Its originator was Mr. J. J. W. Pollard, then editor of the "Southland Times." Invercargills morning newspaper, ami the honours of the event went to the first fishmonger who succeeded in reaching the "Times" office with a package of what journalists were wont to call "succulent bivalves." The editor received them personally and disposed of them in the usual manner, unadorned by the trimmings of stout considered so necessary by the remainder of the staff. There "was * much tuning up of fishmongers' ancient cars on that great day. As the trawlers re-turned to the Bluff from the heavy combers of Foveaux Strait anxious fishmongers lined the quay waiting for the first sack to Ix 2 thrown ashore before the vessels had even tied up. Each fish merchant seized his sack, threw it into the , waiting motor car, wound up the works, and I set off in a cloud of dust along the eighteen ' miles of highway to Invercargill. Anxious ! ; reporters in the newspaper office, fingering 1 t their oyster knives suggestively, brightened i i when they heard the wheezing and coughing fof the cars and the noise as half a dozen | stout fishmongers, loaded with oysters, fought their way out of the jam in the passageway, stumbled up the stairs and flung their offerings into the editor's sanctum. Ah, what days, they were! The reward for winning the Oyster Derby was a saga which appeared in the following day's paper from the pen of the editor, who used the pseudonym "Shaun O'Sullivan." These epics were cut out and pasted up in the albums of the lucky winners. I And Invercargill fish merchants did a roaring j trade as the Penguin Belt people settled down to the serious business of welcoming the season 1 and celebrating the Oyster Derby.—Jay. J