Grotesque Dancer

Auckland Star, Volume LXIX, Issue 225, 23 September 1938, Page 17

Grotesque Dancer

SHORT STORY,

/"VF course you know A 1 ITayward, the marvellous groie.-fjuc dancer. You must have laughed till the tears came to your eyes over his comic jumps and his apparent dislocations. When you see him on the stiijie you can't help thinking of the present day where we are all dancing on an active \olcann; for A 1 Hay ward jumps about a? though he were <>n hing lava. These embarrassed and desperate spasms always put tHe audiency in a pood humour. There is probably not a nrinaircr in the States who docs not boast that he discovered Al. and no theatrical director who will not swear that it was on his stajre that Al had his lir~t success. Please ilon't believe any of them when they say those thing>! I. sir. I alone am responsible that Al to-day i* what he is. All the credit i-t mine! What? You don't believe it. Look here. sir. when I say a thin;* you can bet your bottom dollar on it. H.ing it all, don't laugh and >hake your head! I've given my word iu>t to let the secret out and in y word is as safe as the Statue of Liberty. 'Sou won't stop jrrinninir? Come here. I'll tell you the whole story. . . .

It was about six. no eight years ago. ju«t after Al had sot married. Ho was not a draw, didn't get any sensational wage*, didn't even attract" people with complimentary tickets. He was just Al Havward. We were a.ll in some cheap touring show. Al did some long-drawn-out boring dance and audience only woke up when Myrna, I his young wife, came on the stage. She wan the goods and they liked that. She was young and energetic, and apparently had Al well under _her thumh. But that's between vou and me, sir. It's no good raking up okl scandals, when she has Just married her fourth husband. Griffy, the boxer, and Al is living 'with Ellen Maxwell after her third divorce. On the day I'm telling you about we were sitting in Al's dretwjng room, just Al and me, waiting for his call. Some nap had just given me a few good cigars and we were smoking comfortably, talking of old times, when we were both single and could scatter the ash on the floor. If anyone came or we wanted to tidy up we would kick it under the sofa with our feet. So we were smoking, lost in blessed memories, sitting under a notice saying that smoking in the dressing rooms was strictly forbidden and would mean instant dismissal. • • ♦ a The whole ehack, you must know, was built of wood and paper, and nbfcrrrally the owner could not afford to insults it. We were in the midst of a lovely cloud when the manager flung open the door, shouting: "Al! You're on!"

T just had time to put my t' • behind my hack, but Al, who was dr.ipged out by lln' manager. in the excitement of tiio moment stuffed his half-smoked cigar in hi< trouser pocket —and there hi'- was on the stage. Tlio first burst of laughter came after a. few sccHiitlff, A burst of laughter. s : r, was as rare in that place as at a disarmament. conference. T rushed out, and even I shook with lnu'ilitcr. What Al was doing wss sure funny. It is indescribable -well, since I hen vou'vo seen it for yourself. The cigar had burned through his trouser pocket and was slowly travelling di'wn his leg. Poor Al hopped around as though he were dtiiifinjr on a wasps' HCr-t. Mil- arms and legs thrashed the «iir as though broken into small pieces by an "Xjilosion and were now being thrown cleverly together by a juggler >o that they joined up somehow —only to be c\plo<yd again. The theatre rocked with laughter. Myrim. who always by during her liiit-bnnd's act. was gasping for breath, the manager had sunk helpless on to the big drum and all of us standing in the winy* coughed and panted as after a hard boxing match.

Jimmy just had enough strength to lower the curtain and then we were all down and could easily have been counted out.

A storm of applause broke out, but Al didn't take a call. He had vanished into hi« dressing room. I went to get bandages.

But we couldn't use them. Everyone burst in with congratulations. *The manager embraced him and said that lie always knew that Al had real fire in him.

At the word "fire," Al fainted; which, however, did not stop the manager's speech. He went on to say that he was glad that Al had discovered his speciality and that he would engage him to do the same number at five times his present salary.

Mvrna then fell on Al's neck and swore eternal love.

D'you know what happened then, sir? Al stuck to his "speciality"' and conquered the stage of the world. He doesn't need the cigar any more—the memory is enough.

But if anyone tells you that he discovered Al, you know now that it's a lie. What do you say, sir? You think that the notice forbidding smoking is responsible because Al was frightened of the manager? I thought you hadn't seen the point. I'd sized up your mind, sir. Do you think that a guy like Al would have worried about the manager or his notice, Haha! Didn't I tell you that Myrna always stood by during her husband's act and couldn't stand him smokfng those fat, heavy cigars?