THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIX, Issue 221, 19 September 1938, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWB.)

That Irish friend of mine (and he is no myth) is at it again. When, last week, Shortland Street welled with an anxious group of citizens outside the "Star" i STAR office news board —a j ATTRACTIONS, crowd waiting for a j bulletin on the all- j important subject of European affairs—he ' spoke again. "Why is it," said he, "that the (public should be kept waitin' like this an' 'all? If there be no news to give us, why Idon't these newspaper people put up a notice to sav they would not be puttiniup a notice?" —B.C.H. TWICE ROUND. "If the programme is any good I always sit it out twice." said a young -damsel to a couple of likeable young damsel companions . jin the tramcar this morning. She went on to ' 'say that was her reason for patronising the !<!a'y sessions—evidently she was not a worker. Ready? Right; tune in on the third beat: I've an ache in my back, and a pain in my neck. My eves have grown dim, my nerves are a wreck: Mv whole 'eft lesr is so sound asleep That I walk with a drunken lurch and sweep. I'm thirsty and tired, and a bit irate. For I've missed bv tram and will set home late: But, oh. my proodress! How I've had fun— I've seen two shows for the price of one! —-JOHNNY. In spite of scientists' opinions that there is no such thing as "equinoctial" gales, I am a firm believer in them. They usually come before the date when day GALES. and night are equal. This occurs to-morrow. Sunset to-day is at . r >.44, and the sun rises at 5.44 ' to-morrow. The fierce squalls which came down from the r.or'-west at 9 p.m. on Saturday, continuing till last night, mark the equinoxes and indicate, in my opinion, a westerly summer. This is generally good ' sailing weather, with fresh breezes and a spell of fine northerlies about the end of January ' or early in February—coincident with the visit of the Sydney eightecn-footers. Driving I into the city late on Saturday night on the < Tamaki Drive, the heavy seas breaking in ' Okahu Bay and or. the road near Orakei wharf j made me doubt' the efficiency of a pile wavebreak to form the proposed boat harbour. The 1 site is certainly the most suitable, and the ' next best is Biddick s Bay, just east of Orakei * wharf. Objectors to the Orakei site have ' overlooked the Harbour Board's latest proposal to do away with the unsightly pile moorings ' in favour of single moorings, with.only a small buoy above water. With a stone wall substituted for the pi?e wave-break all reasonable objectors should be satisfied.—Speedwell.

Dear Touchstone, —Yonr recent notes on the use of "shall" and "will" «eem to me rather pointless: any -point you may have otherwise made was de"SHALL" AND stroyed by your assertion "WILL." that the passage quoted from the Psalms is out of order grammatically. "Firth of Wellington." a scholar well versed in the niceties of the English language, propounded a rule which, although perhaps not infallible, is at least infinitely preferable to mere guesswork. I submit the rule for your approval. In the first person, "shall" denotes intention only; "will" denotes determination, e.g., I shall see you to-morrow -;f you wish (intention); I will see yon to-morrow, whether you wish it or not (determination). In the second and third person the reverse holds: "Will" denotes intention and "shall" determination (compulsion, necessity, command), e.g., I hope you will see me to-morrow (intention); You sha'.l see me to-morrow (command); "And the first shall be last," "So shall he reap" (compulsion). In the case of a question the answer is anticipated: Shall you see me to-morrow T (I shall see you to-morrow)—intention. Shall he be made to attend ! (He shall be made to attend) —compulsion. Even the 23rd Psalm obevs this rule—there is determination to follow "in the way of the Lord, and the reward must of rfoessity follow. Can you better this, even if the result may sometimes sound pedantic, due to the preponderance of error in evervdav English?—J.G.P. J '

I had mentioned to Bert the various street names by which Auckland perpetuates th>> memories of the great. "Thev certainlv make

T « »,~~ „ .. an > m P™»ing H*t," I said IN THE NAVY? "Wellcsley, Wellington

_ , Vincent, Franklin, Howe. Cook-, Hobson." "Don't forget Grey'g Avenue, too," he said. Remembering Xelson'a signal. we had a liquid lunch, and over the foam discussed the Navy. "You've heard of Horatio Nelson, haven't you?" I asked Bert; I wanted to make sure as he'd been to a local school "Sure," he said. "He was killed on a training ship—the Victory—or in the Trafalgar Square riots—which? Well, anyway, Nelson Street was named after him." "Named after who'" asked the barman. "Nelson—a chap in th* Navy,' I replied. "What Navy?" the frothproducer asked belligerentlv. "The British Navy "I said. "Must have been before n.v time, he said. "I never heard of him." An argument over short change with a peeved ship's fireman occupied the barman's attention. England, for once in her long history, did all she could to perpetuate the memory of a , ?T Patest sailor. After Nelson's tragic death King George TIT. conferred an earldom on Nelson's parson brother, and Parliament granted him £900,000 to purchase an estate with, and an annual pension of £5000. a «-ift of £10,000, one of £20,000 to his two sister*. and a pension for life to his childless widow. You say Nelson was in the Navv?" asked the barman, the argument settled' "Forget him," I said. "Come on, Bert."—MacClure] "Touchstone" writes: When an American makes "reservations" he books rooms in a hotel, usually, but an Englishman has some- ._-—_,_ thing else in mind when AMERICAN he uses the word. Tin* USAGE, subject has l>een dealt „,, with in a dictionary of Modern American Usage" by H. W. Horwill. In England." he writes, "a thing is not said to be liable to happen unless the risk of its happening is permanent or frequent. In America there is no such restriction of the w-ord. 'Boston is liable to be the ultimate place for holding the convention.' 'If the lawmakers get back before the frosts kill the vegetation, many of them are liable to think it a reproach to the nation that srrass should be growing in the streets of the national capital.' In each of these instances likelv would have been used in England." In America. he adds, the word tickled means gratified whereas in England it means amused or diverted. "The American compounds downtown, he adds, "and up-town do not indicate .any difference in elevation. Whether as noun* adverbs, thev are applied to th» .biwnness and the residential district, respectively, of an American citv. 'The sudden .turning on of electric lights in the downJtown office buildings overtaxed the output of electricity from the power stations.'" Transient is another word whose meaning varies. In America it is used both as adjective and noun. The hotels offer different rates for | residents and for transient o-, le sts or tran- I sients. The Post Office also discriminates in its rates between "transient newspapers" sent ' occasionally by one private person to another, | and the newspapers that are dispatched regularly from the publication office to subscribers. ! In some instances, says Mr. Horwill. "temporary" would be the corresponding word in English u*age. That is hardly correct. The word "casual" would be oftencr. i