RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LXIX, Issue 220, 17 September 1938, Page 17 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS

Durii'fi n radio tulle an crplnrrr mentinned that thr iriltl and Rtirtitic trilien < rntral Afrim /km/ no rates or tares. Then vhnt. hare they to be wild and savage al/out f ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ the scenes in a new play are h»"d in the North African desert. I hey are so realistic that during ■ the interval th" entire audience makes a frantic rush for the oasis.

By Zamiel

TT c arc reminded by a writer of financial notea that the Chancellor of the Exchequer ig only human after all. Now. if he had only left out the word "human" . . , ♦ * ♦ ♦ PLY DhSfROYIXd campaign is being planned for (k-rmanv this summer. We gather that the work will he carried out with workmanlike little swatstikas. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ "Everyone," says a doctor, "would be better for a cold plunge every morning." Well, the newspapers do their best! ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ MAN complained in Court that his wife first insisted he should take one course of action and then made him do exactly the opposite. Doesn't he know that it is a woman's privilege to change her husband's mind?

"Grrms hale sprint/ cleaning" dec! ares a writer of health liinls. And, incidentally, married men dislike being culled germs. t ♦ ♦ ♦ of stealing cows, « farm servant stated that he was merely counting them. Taking stock, so to speak. ♦'♦ ♦ ♦ A Wellinqlnn policeman is said to be shaping nicely as a icicket-keeper. So >tow he'll be running them out instead of vanning them in.

rpilE bathing girl of .lO years ago," says a novelist, "used to dress like Mother Hubbfrd." The sunbathing girl of to-day is as much like her cupboard as anything.

A irnrnan xrriter Ihi.iks that the niceslsounding norrfs in our language are "I lore you." The words "What'll you hate?" seem, to have been overlooked.

W E are informed by a farmer that a lamb can attain a speed of nearly .10 miles an hfiur. Xo doubt it has to if it wants t<s keep up with Mary nowadays.

"The old type of policeman who hung about after the rook is vanishing," we are told. He has to be, of course, if he wants to keep anywhere near the average cook. «

On we drove on the fine British-made roads through native villages, past the present Sultan'e palace, until we got on the outskirts of the town again.

In the distance we saw the red tarbush and blue tunic of an Askari. "Now," I said, "Canarres, you get clown, and hide in the car." He laughingly complied, but still came the salute, so that put him out of the running. "I reckon these mom pa rati (Zulu for novices) rtilute any white man in a car," growled McLean. "Oh, do they. - ' said Hanks. "Look at that lot then." A liiji Packard car swung by the Askari, with a chaull'cur, and three helmeted men in it who looked like Americans. The Askari directed them, but never made the slightest attempt to salute.

At the next I ducked, but still the s<ilute.

McLean was told to hide next time, but he said no. it was Bulks' turn, but Davis brutally said it was lir-eless Banks hiding as they could not see him anyway. Arrived at the restaurant, I bade Kamnjce adieu, with many thanks for tiie car, and we sat down among the fountains to an excellent lunch.

After lunch we tiled out into the brilliant sunshine.

We were all'in a bunch, except Banks, who was about 50 yards ahead. As it was siestn. time, the narrow street which led into the square was deserted, but as we looked into it we saw about 4(1 Askari. headed by a coal black ser-geant-major, marching along like the I iua r<l<.

They luid their back's 1" us, find there w:irt only a solitary little fijjure oil the square. As the soldiers approached and passed it, sharp came the comma nd: "Eyes r-r-r-right!" Staccato, imperative. The little figure slilfened. and smartly returned the snlute. We gasped. It was Banks! Davis nearly had apoplexy. There was not the slightest mistake this time: he was the only white person the soldiers had seen.

We all apologised profusely, but Davis had to say: "I thought you said they could always toll soldiers." I thought I detected a flickering flame for a moment in Banks' grey eyes, but he smiled a wry smile and said: "Well, I am going hack to the boat, for I have just remembered I have some letters I want to catch the next boat for homo." He left us with a wave of the hand, and one or two ironic salutes from us.

After dinner on the liner I strolled on deck olid saw jthe harbour lit by a wonderful tropic moon and the many coloured lights of the shipping rocking at anchor. I felt a touch on the arm; it was Banks.

"Come to my cabin. I've got some thing to show you. and. more impor taut, a really good cigar."

I followed him and he produced the cigar, and then said: "Quite a. joke about the native soldiers only saluting a soldier, wasn't it?" and from a metal box he shyly produced an Army List, a Kind's Commission and papers telling about Lieutenant-Colonel Banks, D.5.0.. etc.. and conspicuous gallantry in the field.

'•But, 7 ' I protested, "why not on the passenger list?"

"Well,'' he said, "T am only a war soldier. and I don't like to parade it: so please keep the matter confidential."