THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIX, Issue 127, 1 June 1938, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.)

"Touchstone" writes: The correct vowel sound in "basic" i$ found in basis and basin. "Perplexed," a reader who asks a question on the subject, should note, BASIC WAGE. also, that the liiseing "s" is always used. There is 110 "z" sound in the word, which is "bay sick," with the stress on the first syllable. It is worth noting that bass —the musical term —is pronounced base. Basso, however, is different. Another reader asks for a note on the spelling of "inclose," which is the form in which he [finds it in Chambers's and Webster's dictionaries. All dictionaries give the alternatives "enclose" and "inclose." The first form is preferred in Britain and the Dominions, and is likely to oust "inclose." whatever the Americans may choose to do. ! Possibly we have not yet heard all the details of the Xew Zealand Diggers' recent trip to Aussie. We are credibly informed that "t w o-u p" was BLOOMERS OF plaved in a blatant rnanPICARDY. ner in the streets, and eventually some of the beribboned men in blue put aside temporarily their police vows and joined in the good old igame. One of the stories of this epic trip still remains unpublished. I am credibly informed that during the process of the celebrations a certain gentleman arrived at a parade complete in kilt, sporran, dirk, and, in fact, carrying everything but a haggis. The Aussies saw him first, and, Aussie-like, quickly relieved him of his kilt. The undergarment consisted of a pair of scarlet shorts. The victim was quickly hoisted on to the shoulders of two stalwarts and subsequently was carried in the procession bearing upon his back a placard reading, "The Rose of Xo Man's Land." —B.C.H. A new drug introduced from Germany, and used in the treatment of skin diseases, turns the patients green! This is handed out on the authority of COLOUR CHANGE, the "Star's" special correspondent in London, and published on Monday of this week. The drug is known as Green 107, and within ten or fifteen minutes of the injection into the blood stream the patient goes cabbage colour from head to foot and remains so for a couple of hours. The treatment should greatly appeal to artistes doing the snake dance. But it isn't necessary to drug one to bring about a colour change in humans. Ever since this poor paragraphist can remember people have turned green with envy, red with anger, blue with cold, yellow with age, white with fright and black with rage.—Johnny. | Boys do all sorts of expert things on bicycles. I remember, years ago, when I paid my first visit to Christchurch, I pulled up to see what a small crowd THE BIKE. in the roadway was staring at. I forget now whether it was a minor accident or whether it was merely a case of the populace looking on while a few workmen used a pickaxe on the t road. But what I do remember is that two boys, in the uniform of a secondary school, rode up on bicycles. They stopped, but they did not get off their bicycles. They just etood [straight up on the pedals, and, balanced there, with the bicycles quite still, looked over the [heads of the people in front. It was the sort of thing that, theretofore. I had seen doneonly by professional trick riders. I have found out since that it is by no means exceptional. But it isn't only the Christchurch boys who are experts on bicycles. It is a qualification that seems to go with boys nearly everywhere. The other day I watched a plumber's lad riding a bicycle. I assume that he was a plumber's lad, since he. had a length of pipe on his shoulder. He didn't hold the pipe—it was balanced across his shoulder. He was pedalling slowly along, whistling to himself, while, with I both hands, lie calmly rolled a cigarette. It I was a clever performance, albeit of the tvpe ' that would have moved Mr. Semple. had he | witnessed it, to one of those stimulating outbursts of natural rhetoric that envious opponents try vainly to discredit bv dubbing them Sempleisms.—B.O'X.

The two principal topics of light conversation in the office recently have been young Alisdair Farquliar McClachans tartan tie and

I his assiduous cultivation GAELIC HUFF, of the fluffy young blonde | who has recently been added to the chief accountant's staff. The McClachan tartan tie still flourishes—a fearsome thing, its colour scheme based on that of a teetotaller's nose, bright red. with a tracery of fine purple lines—but the McClachan courtship is wrecked, so the liftman has told us, on that same proud tartan tie. He alone overheard our new blonde's faux pas. for the wily McClachan usually so managed it that they two were the last passengers down after work. "Oh, Mr. McClachan. are you Scottish? asked she. "I'm of Highland descent."' quoth McClachan proudly, swelling his chest. "The McClachans are one of the oldest clans m Scotland."' "Oh, I thought you might be by your tie,'' lisped our dear, delightful blonde. "But, of coinvo, everyone is wearing tartan ties these days, aren't they?" For the first time since she joined our staff our new blonde, so beautiful. but oh, so dumb, walked down the street to the tram alone, while Alisdair Farquhar McClachan made a swift dash through the traffic and through a certain open (doorway to soothe the pangs of disillusionment and wounded pride in good usquebaugh.—l.M.

Just down by the corner is the man who has the tree. It is a fine tree and has been growing there goodness knows how long—since long before the house was THE AXE. built, and the house isn't a new one. The tree had become a problem. _ It was in the way, and its size pi o\ oked visions of disaster should its roots, on any occasion, fail to hold against a gale. I think, said the man bv the corner, "I'll drop that tree. It's a pity to have to destroy it. but we can't continue to live under menace like that." And thus it was decided. Note, by the way. his laconic way of putting it: "I'll drop that tree"—just no trouble at all. W ell, lirst of all he climbed aloft with a pruning saw and removed most of the branches, just to simplify the falling. That job took him a day. Then he spent an evening on the family axe, first with a 'grindstone and then (bless you!) with an oilstone, for lie is one of those fellows who believes in having things just so. He knew something of axes in his youth and takes pride in the "fact that lie knows liow to sharpen an axe. I had a look at the axe. Jt was sharp. I don't know if it quite came up 'to the specifications credited to the professional wood-chopping gentlemen who. report has it. can shave with their axes. But anyway, it. was sharp, all right. I saw him start valoronsly on thac I tree the next day. Half an hour later I came I back. Operations had been postponed—indefij nitely. The man by the corner had reckoned j without one problem—his hands. Years of .quiet living had given him hands as soft as a woman's. Half an hour swinging an axe ,had done unbelievable things to them. It looks as if it will taka a month for them to recover sufficiently- to permit him to use the axe even with the aid of gloves.—B.O'X. THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee; because he trustoth in Thee.—lsaiah. Englishmen can endure hardship, help one another and meet death with as great a fortitude as ever in the past.—Captain Scott.