THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIX, Issue 65, 18 March 1938, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

j (By THE MEW ABOUT TOWN.) 1 '"It's funny how the obvious and simple things of life become complex ami baffling to a certain type of mind." remarked Bert as the I barman refilled the "FROM THE glasses. "'Take mv Bill, | MOUTHS ." for instance. From a carefree youth, with a .simple faith in his old man and the rest of |Creation, and always a big smile 011 hi# face, he passes his matric.. goes through the 'Varsity. and arrives hack at the farm mentally maimed, a pest and a nuisance, and we find ourselves saddled with an incubus who can only ease his restless mind by probing. dissecting. disputing and holding coronial inquests on anything and everything from the water jin the bath to the carbonic content of mother's j "Yorkshire pudding. From the minute he larrives home my simple explanations of things in general cease to satisfy him: common sense lie replaces witli uncommon nonsense. With a combination of Einstein and Marie Stopes he stops Time marching 011 and kills off the stork. He savs our Encyclopaedia Britannica is obsolete now 011 account of a fellow named Ripley, and believes that another fellow named Bernard Shaw has put the Bible out of joint. 'In the sprirrr.' he says to me, 'a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts* of Freud.' Also he says his science can explain everything except birthday honours and appointments to the Upper House. By experimental psychology, he tells me, they can nowadays pick a suitable member of Parliament at birth, the same as we do 1 dav-old chicks. Last week he had a great big sneer at Democracv and at the British Empire, loyalty, patriotism and such-like, and he got us damn mad. And didn't he get a laugh at the idea of us 'old fogies' putting in four years at the war 'to make the world safe for ■ democracy.'"— MacClure. "H.C." drops a line asking what we know j about Clement Richard Attlee, leader of the ] Labour party in England. He mentions that Mr. Attlee is foreignMR. ATTLEE. looking and lias a name more iu keeping with the East than England. Names and looks count for nothing in many cases. Mr. Attlee, as a matter of fact, was born in London in ISS.">. and was educated at the Hailevbury and University College, Oxford, where he took honours in modern history. He was called to the Bar in 1005. at which time he was an Imperialist and tariff reformer. In 1010 he became secretary of the Toynbee Hall Settlement in the East End of London, and it is said that the sight of poverty at close quarters made him a Socialist. He served in the Great War, but before that was a lecturer at Rnskin College and tutor and lecturer in social science at the London School of Economics. His war experiences made him an ardent pacifist, and 'he felt that the Government had betrayed the men who fought for their country. He was 'the first Labour Mayor of Stepney, and in ! 1022 was elected M.P. for the Limehouse | Division of Stepney. When Labour came into 1 power Mr. Attlee was given the position of Under-Secretary for War. In the t-ccond Labour Government he was made Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster and became Post-master-General in 1031. He has stated he stands for economic sanctions and is against the piling up of armaments. In 10:5."). because of his comments upon Italy's treatment of j Abyssinia, an Italian officer challenged him to I a duel, but Mr. Attlee apparently wasn't j taking any risk, and refused the offer, declaring I that duelling was "a barbarous and ol>solete I

method of settling a difference." —Johnny. "Touchstone" writes: A reader has asked for the correct pronunciation of gladiolus and the plural form of the word. Two authorities mav be quoted. Fowler. • GLADIOLI. in ' '.Modern En«l is h Usage.*' says that the pronunciation recommended is gla-dyolus. with the stress on the first syllable (sla). in which the vowel sound is the fame as in glad; or iif such a division of the word is too difficult, gladi-olus. with the stress on the "eye" sound. Fowler jrives luses or li (pronounced lie) a* alternative plurals. Welister's Dictionary gives gla-dy-o-lus as the only permissible pronunciation (with the - stress on dy). and ad.ls that the Latin plural is li and the English plural fuses. Don Brad man's retort at Adelaide to pessimists who doubt the Australian Te-t team's chance* because of its "inexperience" was overdue. Cricket TEST OMENS, history shows that the value of experience may be over-emphasised. Collins' l!)2*> team, the only Australian side which has lost the Asheili England since the war. included ten men who had toured England before. The successful 1930 and l!« 4 sides had. respectively, four and eight "experienced" players. In short, the evidence suggests that a tenderfoot who scores without knowing how is preferable to an old stager who knows how but doesn't score. Incidentally, believers in omens are already predicting that the fifth Test will last a week and that Australia will win. They base their assumption on the belief that the gods will be as kind to Bradman. whose birthday falls on August 27. one week after the beginnin <i of the fifth Test, as they were to Wooafnll. j whose 1930 and 19.U teams each clinched the Ashes on his birthday. August 22. —Johnny. I The writer's great objection to eating is that one has to (temporarily) iHs.-outfnue smoking. John L. Clemens (Mark Twain) wits once asked. "What is the VAIN LONGINGS, best thing to have after a pood ciliary" "Another cigar." he replied. This narrator will, one <lav. be getting himself "under observation." sine?, having a deal of leisure (due to an unsvmpathetic Press), passes a good deal of his time 1 gazing, longingly, at the excellently drc-e-.l tobacconist-' windows in the city, mentally selecting the pipe* and cigar* that he would like to be able to buy. Which, after all. is ] akin to the lady from the -üburhs who spend* jSd out of her last shilling in tram tare- to jgaze at the drapery, milliuerv and jewellerv {that she would lii<e to be able to buy. These '•Hying thought-"' were awakened to-duv when we read that "Mr. Pipe, of Opotiki. presented Mr. List with a ca<e of pipes." Were they ; little '"Pipes" that his ladv war- overburdened : | with? The writer feels that he al-o deserves j "Mr. Pipe's" appreciation if. by chance, he is ' <a dailv follower of "The Show" A.A.P. Talking of music, it would be interesting ; jto know how many live* were influenced by j (the famous "Destiny Waltz." whose composer. I I Sydnev Bavnes. has ju.-t i MELODY LINGERS, died in London. One" re- { j turned "Digier." at lea-t. ' jean testify that it- melody i< the sweetest i I pound he ever heard. Lost'in no man's land.' ■ lie was unable to decide which wav to turn ! ! when a familiar tune reached his ear. It was ["Destiny." played on a concertina. The . | "Digger" followed tlie. sound. and at la-t ' .tumbled back into his own trendies, blessing i j the name of ■ Sydney Bavnes. Bavnes could; (not have guessed, when he wrote "Destiny" jon the back of an envqjope in Wl2. that the j i simple air would enjoy evergreen popularity. I bnt it is still one of the favourite dance and i broadcast numbers.—Honi. j i

THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. "Wait for your opportunity patientlv. but be sure you are ready to seize it when it ' eoiues.—Sir Landon Ronald. ; Many profess that v<Mi<reanee belong to ' Ood; but few arc willing to wait Hi- time.— Richard C'ookson. ' Englishmen will never be slaves; thev are ' ireo to do whatever the (Jovvrninent' and public opinion will allow them to do. —C 1! I Shaw. I