THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 299, 17 December 1937, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MET* ABOUT TOWN.)

A few stray reflection® on Russian elections, as Soviet leaders proclaim their burning ambition to make it their mission to

honour democracy's name. POPULAR VOTE. Though long known as

despot*;, at last they profess spots of zeal for the ]>opular vote; but methods elective will still prove effective to stop people rocking the boat. The poor, humble peasant is voteless at present, but now he at last has Jifs say, the blue pencil using as he does hi* choosing in almost a civilised way. But still they're rot trusting their fate to the busting—the Government then might be licked; the gesture's two-fisted—the candidates listed are all by the Government picked. Why have opposition when this you can dish in, and win every time without fail? So Mickey's admiring—l hear he's inquiring if maybo the patent's for sale.—Sinbad.

Little New Zealand is determined to maintain its reputation for purity. To further this end the police at the Jnvercargill Agricultural Show ordered the VILLAGE PUMPS, removal of a wine display.

Mind you, the bottles contained only coloured water, but the labels were the real thing. Jn this country you simply must not even whisper such words as wine, beer or "snifter" in a "dry" district. Strange to say, in licensed districts there appears to be no check on some of those enterprising vendors who sell wine and do not frankly admit that it, too, is really only coloured water. However, turning from the depressing Jnvercargill news, we find in the <-ables an item which suggests that England requires the aid of Xew Zealand Puritans. In the Midlands beer bowsers have been installed. The customer places sixpence in the slot and receives three-quarters of a pint of beer in a carton. Aa the bowsers are available day or night they will be decidedly popular. Here, again, we have a great opportunity for the genius of those advertising men who invent benzine slogans. We may therefore expect to see rival beer bowsers with such captions as "Easy starting, quick finishing," "Instantaneous ignition," and "Not a cough in a carton"—but perhaps "Flat out on Bass" would be &« good as any.—B.C.H. In the vegetable line there is no more universally appreciated item than the potato or common spud. Thousands of tons of these . "Maori apples" are conSPUDS. siimed daily the world over. I merely introduce this in order to work in a most interesting paragraph I noticed in a magazine and which I think ie worth a place in any column. This is what the par. says: From the Germans, ,I>r. Antoine Auguste Parmentier learned the incomparable nutritive value of potatoes, when, during the Seven \ ears' War, he was captured and made prisoner at Hamburg. After returning to France, where he took up practice as a doctor and chemist, he was grieved bv the terrible cereal failures of 1700 apd wrote a book on potatoes and what they might mean to the farmer and city consumer. His work was greeted with ridicule, but at last he interested Louis XVI. in his plans. He sent a. tub of potatoes to the King, who wore their flowers in his buttonhole, and Marie Antoinette appeared at a ball with a wreath of potato blossoms in her hair. With the King's aid. Parmentier secured a plot of land near Paris in which to grow potatoes experimentally. The King even provided a cordon of soldiers to guard the garden. When the people saw ■this they began to think something prettv good must be buried in a field that needed the protection of the military. The result was that at night the people came and stole the potatoes, ate them, liked them, planted them, and so fell victim to the trap which Parmentier had set for them. To this day potato flowers bloom upon Parmentier's "Tave. —Johnny. r

"Touchstone" ha* received tlic following very interesting note from "Anxious": Will you kindly answer the following question.?? TJTfiT*«p>QC TW f iWt ' Wh ' Ch iS tlle rid,CSt KiLMflm IN language in the world, LANGUAGE, including Arabic, Greek

and Latin? Secondly, what 19 the position of the English language among the other languages? It is doubtful if anyone in the world would care to answer the first question. In many respects English in certainly the richest language. It is a free language, expressive of the verv liberties for which the nation stands, and rich above all in the number of ?ts words. English dictionaries contain a larger number of words than those of any other nation, and tliev present a variegated picture of terms from every quarter of the globe. These opinions are the conclusion of the eminent Swedish authority 011 English, T>r. Otto .Tespersen, of the Universitv of Copenhagen, who sums up in these words': "The English language is a methodical, business-like and sober language that does not care much for finery and" elegance, but does care for logical consistency and is opposed to any attempt to narrow-in life by police regulations and strict rules either of grammar or of lexicon, and as the grammar is. so also is the nation. 'For words, like Xature. half reveal And half conceal the soul within.'" Jesperson adds: "Nowadays nobody would overlook English in making even the shortest possible list of the chief languages, because in political, social and literarv importance it is second to none, and Itecause it is the mother tongue of a greater number of human heinsrs than any of its competitors." I don't know whether the Christmas rush of shopping started earlier this vear than usual, or whether coincidence ' operated to determine that a whole otRUM. horde of jieople should . . , . decide to shop at the shop I chose at the time T chose to shop If that sentence doesn't make sense, or has to be read about half a dozen times before you get any inkling of what I am trying to talk about, put it down to the fact 'that I have ! been harshly dealt with and am still sulTerii," 1 . t,le My purchase, as becomes lone of meagre means, was just a modest one. My tioiibles started when I endeavoured to enter the shop, for in the doorwav I -ot wedged between a fat woman who was [emerging and another fat woman who deadheated with me in the doorwav. When the Stout ladies (that's a much better term than | fat women, isn't it?) had got me fairlv into the trap they recognised each other' and stopped to talk ot this and that. It took me a minute or s 0 to get out of the scrum. Common sense should have told me to break for the open, but I went in. An infant nihbed something damp and horribly stickv across inv hand, a huge fellow trod 'fairlv and with generosity upon my foot, and a troubled and panting woman who seemed determined to <*et somewhere in a hurry barged into me with devastating force and then glared at me in a manner that indicated her opinion that such creatures as I are mere irritating litter 011 the face of the earth. I think some of these more f>opular shops should inaugurate a system of traffic control within Of course, for those people who are heart v and healthy, there is something to be scid for the scrummaging business, but'for a smell and retiring fellow like myself the process is rather alarming.— B.O'X. A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. Gentle words, quiet words, are, after all, the most powerful words. Thev are more convincing, more compelling, 'more prevailing— W. Gladden.