THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 259, 1 November 1937, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.)

If it weren't so serious it would be excruciatingly funny. The Labour Government compelled employers to increase their employees' pay—without HA! HA! HA! any exception—as from July, 1!)3(>. Yet the Minister of Defence states that the "Government is considering the restoration of the gunners' pay to the 1031 level," and, after fifteen months' lajjse of time, "is not going to be stampeded into making the restoration"! Ha, ha, ha! Hee, hee, hee! Haw, haw, haw! —Junior. Please assure "B.o' N.," the poor fellow, that it will be all right next year, when Mr. Mason gets his new .Act through. The position then will be (so I learn IN BAULK. on reliable authority) that any pedestrian who is knocked down on a recognised white-line crossing will be entitled to get up (if he can) and demand of the motorist to knock him over again. So long as he remains within the white lines he may continue to repeat the demand at an average of about £100 a knock. If the motorist plays the game reasonably well, it should be both amusing and remunerative.— Autex.

"Puzzled" asks whether the word Semitism is a modern invention, and if so, how it is pronounced. No, it is a perfectly good word, meaning either a Semitic SEMITISM. word or idiom, or even Semitic practices, opinions or customs generally. It is used especially of the Jews. Most often this word occurs in the 113'phenated noun "anti-Semitism," which means opposition of the Jews. Semite has the stress on "sem,"' unlike Serritic, which has the stress on "it." Another reader asks whether the possessive case of Wells should he written with an apostrophe only or with an apostrophe and an "&." All names ending in "s" take the additional "s," as in Wells's. This rule is relaxed only with a few classical names. —Touchstone.

It has happened that during the past few mornings I have made trips to the post office for the purpose of clearing a letter box. Heretofore the box office EXCHANGE. lobby had been rather a terra incognita to me. I had, of course, noted the streams of people going in and out during the rush hours, and that was about all. But I have discovered that these people are really very important. It is here that the really momentous news of the day is swopped. It is the place where all the junior typistes of the city meet one another, and it is therefore the place where .all the latest bits of really spicy gossip get away to a flying start. There is really nothing of any moment that happens in the city (or in the more important suburbs) that isn't flashed round on the vocal telegraph in the box office lobby in the morning. All the parties of the night before, and all the indiscretions of the people who attended them are duly reported. There are hundreds of our very best citizens who would have what the typiste calls a blue fit if they knew how their doings are reported and interpreted in the box lobby news exchange In the mornings. Apart from the typistes and their gossip, there is the great confederation of office boys. The boys do in their own peculiar way the same sort of thing that the girls do. There may be less bite to their exchanges, but they are just as thorough. Business heads who wonder how it is that office secrets become common property in such a remarkably short space of time should pay an occasional visit to the lobby. There they will pee the Office Boys' Confederation in full operation, and they will begin to understand a lot of things that were obscure to them before. Presumably, in their day, lots of business heads were office boys. They should have remembered what goes on. but the memorv of the average man is notoriously short.—B.O'M.

It is pleasing to read that an Auckland [gentleman has celebrated his eighty-third birthday by climbing to the summit ofßangitoto. This causes me to RANGITOTO. ponder on the question as to how many Aucklanders have visited that charming isle." I venture to say that a very small proportion of our populace has done so. Some years ago rumour had it that a nudist colony had been inaugurated there. The now certainly had the effect of increasing the number of visitors— mostly social reformers, indignant but curious. That Bangi provides a home for such things as opossums and wallabies is probably the explanation of the extravagant nudist rumour. Certainly in a dim light *hcse animals could easily be mistaken for a party of little bears. Talking of the wallabies there, a certain fisherman living alone in one of the bavs has gained the complete confidence of a band of these interesting creatures. 1 have seen him sitting l,y his fireside with half a dozen of them. They feed willingly from his hand, their favourite (lief being apple or potato peelings. One eveniii'.' he handed an onion to a hahv wallaby. The little chap, clutching the onion in his forepaws, took a bite, and immediately, m most human fashion, turned his head away as the tears began to flow. He reminded me of a man reading his income tax demand or perhaps of a "bookie" who has been '-struck for the double."' I understand that the tenure of the shack owners on Kangitoto will come to an end in twenty years" time. As I shall be nearly middle-aged by then, the fact will not concern me personally, but will cause a lot of heart-burning among others who have learned to appreciate the place. However, the Controlling Domain Board has decided on takin™ 'this step, and T suppose that, like the wallaby, it knows its onions.—B.C.H.

Tlio cabled news that, Waziristan tribesmen wlio took part in recent disturbances on tlio Xorth-west Frontier of Tndia are to surrender 2000 riflos and i>av FUN ON fines totalling a l, out £m fa THE FRONTIER, will arouse interest, not unmixed with amusement, amonjjst those who are acquainted with that vast, rock-hewn area. (Xotice that one use* the word "ac<|uainted." Regular soldiers who ;have spent the best years of their lives on the Frontier would never claim to '•know" it ) For a century or more these little disturbances ,have been popping out in the wild border fount rips that lie north-east of Quetta and ; anywhere north or nor'-west of Peshawar For years and years the Mohmands, Mahsnds and Zakka Khels have waged sporadic warfare a-rainst the British ,„■ even ajiainst other tribes who are more amenable to the rule of the white Raj. The little rebellion crops out in a sudden epidemic of heavy snipinjr from the mountainsides or raids upon a frontier post, and before you know where vou are there's a war on. Out comes th<> British fo-c p cavalry from Mcerut or Mhow, infantry from' Kawal Pindi and a mountain battcv from Tochi or Landi Khana, with, nowadays a squadron of bomnin-r 'planes throw,- j n for Tood measure, and then we "demonstrate" The trouble dies down, and if, as has apparently occurred this time, a few of the leaders of the wild men have been captured then toll of rifles or treasure is levied \]\ 80, " V , ,S i<; cide<ll >- optimistic to talk of 2000 rifles and £0000 i„ fines. Tribesmen have a habit of doinjr the disappearing trick \ou don't oet much satisfaction out of or bombuiT a villa.ee that isn't there so to speak. Xo doubt there will be sardonic smiles on many a bearded lip just now. am wit", just one first-hand experience of tne. frontier (six months in duration, and it «o»med like six yearO. present scribe also W s ] oave t „ bp a trifle sceptical. Sir John Cdcrbb-e vi'l certainly be a maker of history if h c l, a -s t!l0 itiill amount, either in rifles or fines.—Bouverie