THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 113, 14 May 1937, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.)

The radio broadcast of the Coronation proceedings was accompanied by the usual atmospheric interference. Many weird sounds emanated from the sets SURGING CROWD, as the procession wended its way towards the Abbey. One Auckland household, intently listening to a running commentary, had their ear drums rattled by a particularly shrill and staccato whistle. The wag of the party promptly remarked. "That's Mick Savage whistling to one of his cobbers in the crowd." —B.C.H.

"Touchstone" writes: T should like an opinion, writes "Autolyeus." on the following matter, which though it may seem trivial, has been exercising our family FLOWER NAMES, circle: Is it not preferable

to use the English names of flowers like snapdragon, canterbury bell, Columbine and sweet william instead of the more recondite antirrhinum, campanula, aquilegia, dianthus, and so on? Can you imagine Matthew Arnold writing about ". . . golddueted antirrhinum; dianthus with his homely cottage smell"? There ie nothing trivial about the correspondent's interesting note. It is most desirable to use simple English names for every flower, for the simple name usually narrows the meaning. For' instance, dianthus (from dios, divine, and authos, a flower) includes a large genus of ornamental herb/? of the pink family, but 1). caryophyllus is the carnation and D. barbatue is the «s\veet william.

A traveller in Ireland has unearthed some curious names. One village in the Emerald Isle sports a butcher's shop conducted by Messrs. Bullock and CURIOUS NAMES. La ml), while another vil-

lage possesses two doctors named respectively Death and Coffin. New Zealand, as usual to the fore, can also produce weird combination*. In a small area not far from Auckland there lived families named Horsley. Oxley. (Owley and Goatley, while a popular Auckland seaside resort at one time boasted a Furlong, a Yardley, a Miles, a Foote and an Inch. In the writer's Grammar School days the form roll one year contained the following lads' names: Brown. Black. White, firey. f!reen and Redpath. They* could almost have provided a Bruce tartan among them. However, the prize go to the two enterprising Chinese who started a fruit business in Dnnedin under the name of "McXab Bros.' , —B.C.H.

Not without reason is our old friend fiporge referred to. behind his back, as "The Major.' , Whether or not he ever held that exalted rank during his THE MAJOR. period of service with the

Tmperial forces, he certainly has the dignity of carriage, conduct and accent proper to the role; and it is just characteristics that made the little mishap at the Customs Street-Queen Street intersection on Coronation Day so delirhtful. Bi'hold the Major, after doing his part in tlie ceremonial programme, homeward bound, carrying under his arm the wherewithal to tna-t Their Majesties at his own fireside. There were four quarts of a famous Southern brew in the four buttles in the par el that he carried under his arm until that disastrous moment when. a« he crossed the intersection, hending towards the Ferry Buildings, the pressure <>f his left elbow momentarily slackened. The crash was sickening to hear. Out of the debris rolled one bottle still intact. A threequart flood of beer followed after it: so did the Major: and after the Major came a policeman. The Major gathered up the bottle nn Hie run just in time to save it from crashing into the gutter: simultaneously the policeman laid a firm hruil on the Major, and another, tinner, hand on the bottle. Tie was shrewd, that constable. With one gesture, he halted the traffic: in a few crisp monosyll lhles he informed the Major that he was holding the surviving bottle as a hostage, until th" debris of the other three was gathered up and deposited in a <pec ; tied receptacle. It was not really for the sake of his surviving buttle. lint because he i~ all that is implied in hi* nickname that the Major took upon him-elf. before an audieme of several thousand, the role of a street cleaner, thoush. a« he worked, he devoutly wished himself back again in that Flai'uer™ dugout that Fritz seemed to pii-k on (Taily for hi- morning strafe. At !'M<t l:e wa- not troubled so badly with the ■'•I 'ponghs there. Having done the job of

ii»niiiiijr "P. tho Major nctunlly nffp'rod to ai-ritiro tho ho-ta;re. Imt t!-.o eon<iable wa*

r*xt>p.-i injr n vi-h from the spt'_'O;uu. so the r-ulo -nrvivii , , , (if the tniirrdy went home under the Major's .inn. ami inter went t" its ultimate de~t iiiatimi under the Major's lirlt. when tho loyal toast was propo*ed.--I.M.

The Jot of the nir«s.ijre hoy. like of the poliepiiiAii. i< iiiMinrently inn nlway.* a happy iwip. Xot so very lonjr uto -onir r:inio«t fit v fathers in n Sonthnrn MESSENGER. tmv n -ave ro n *ideration to tae case of tho niPssaa ,, ''(\v. with pnrtii<ul«r refproiice to the :nr~ia"c hoy who rode a Lieyrle. r.nd on th:it biey.-ie fiirrird not only him-olf Inn sundry paive'.; of his pni'ilnyor"* aoods. \a<ty thins* worn -Kid i'i niakins hp.-»t* of burden out of hoy*. of loading thp 1.i.-yplp* of boy* to an extent where it became a severe ph'y«i.>nl strain to propel the inachiiip. and -oon, Tt really ilpppared. tor a time, a* thoup'.i tho 11: !<oy and I-:-, bicycle would add vet niiotl-'ov T-i the <:iiiltitiiile of regulations that, vi th: = ciunirv. recnlup the manner in wliiv'j wp -jifil! live. Rifyeles have Vcn so Imilt tl-at they c:m r-arry oumborsoine pnivol« in th>< front of the handle bars, and it has hniipenod. «o the critics that tho Jnnd-s thus propelled wore KO }.i;;h that tho b<iv c>:i!l not -ee over them, and f=o wide that he e mid not ;>:i*sib!v ~00 round them, so t ;, nT thronrh the town became a mutter of de.rl recko!i!m\ and the only thin- that averf.nl ilciiflents was that .ill the other trn»Ti>" kent out of iiis Vay and let him have the rort.l. Other biry.des we" Rttel with side- m<- «r ran cement* that |>ennitti\l of loa-1* that prihablv vvei,>!">d a deal Miore than tho boy and t">p bike .po;iili"np,l. while -ti",; n:\?y./ were built as triv-ycles with the load-earryinc ni-ningenientri n<ollll ted behind. It was a'l'parently a lad who had had pxperien.p of the life of the hov awhpel who w.i« respov-'ole for amivinf: quitp a ] >t peoide. A tradesninn fouinl himself in need of a Imiv So he i-re-.arel and ; as- >t -,l on his windnva notice: "Wanted. :>. :, : ,.--ai:e boy. M--s t be able to ride a bike." Then lie <;it to await result-. T.ot- of people 10-.<ked at the notice, inoludinjr 1 of ajip.-irentlv elisib'e boys. ],ut There were no anniieant-i. V !->ii" '""•■ '" oi'ci.i,ed ,0 i ip prospeotivp emrv.oyer that peoplp aviv.irel to rind somet-iin-' t • bunli a- in h-s r.,-; ~. Ho wen; out and examined :t. Tic f >ns< 1. added t< it. ::i an I'hvioimly invenih- hand, the «<suitii-.int ald^ndiim "and be able to parr-- a nrt on it" ■ B.O'X. THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. Ho useful where thou live*t. tint they may Both want and wish, thy iiuv-in" -<;-c-encc still. : -Georpc 'Herbert. There is no time so miserable but a man may be true. —Shakespeare. 11l twinf: your particular for the jro.xl of others, there is ; , j,, v which you cannot have, and never will have iu any other way.— Biehop of London.