The Fourth Princess – A Playette

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 108, 8 May 1937, Page 3 (Supplement)

The Fourth Princess - A Playette

For Girls.

Note.—This play; is easy to prepare for acting, as each scene require* different actors and can be rehearsed separately.

CHARACTERS:

Scene I. The Queen's boudoir in the Palace of Poponaketl, Skydoni cum Steeplejack. LAo the curtain rises the King and Queen are discovered in argument, the yuecn seated on a couch with her embroidery frame, the King pacing up and uow 11 tue room.) Queen: 1 told you so. (She jabs her needle viciously into her embroidery.) King (wearly): I seem to have heard that before. Queen: It's all your fault. King: And that too. Can't you think of an original remark, my dear? Originality counts for a lot in these modern days. Queen (more irate than ever): Didn't I remind you of the dreadful fate that befell the Sleeping Beauty, all through making a muddle of the christening invitation*? Really, I should have thought that with that warning and all my instruction*, you couldn't possibly have made any mistakes. King (indignantly): I didn't. No one was left out, and the christening all went off beautifully. The only trifling surprise . . .

Queen (interrupting him): The only trifling surprise was that your abominable Aunt Arabella suddenly insisted on being the only godmother, and had the poor infant christened Jane before I could open my mouth to protest. I Jane, I ask you, Jane (and she again stabs her embroidery with the needle). King: How could I help it, any more than you? Queen (illogically): You shouldn't have invited her, blockhead!' King: But you've just said . . . Queen: I've just said that it's all your fault, and so it is. King (mastering his temper with an effort): Very well, my dear, leave it at that . . . and after all, you know, Jane isn't such an ugly name. Something homely and old-fashioned about it . . . I rather like it myself. Queen (scathingly): You would! And how do you suppose I shall feel when we attend important functions and the heralds announce —"The King and Queen of Skydom cum Steeplejack, and the Princesses Sunbeam, Moonlight, Stardust and . . . Jane!"

King: You're counting your troubles before they're hatched, my dear. After all, let me see . . . Sunbeam is only six, Moonlight and Stardust four and two, and ... as for poor .little Jane why she's not yet three months old. It will be a few years, to say the least of it, before your feelings are upset by any herald's announcement. (The Queen ignores his remarks, thinking the time is now ripe for tears.) Queen (producing a handkerchief): Oli. you are too utterly heartless. . . . Ju~t think of all the lovely christening pifts the others had from their godmothers . . . wealth and charm and bounty . . . and now poor little Jane . . . (she begins to sob) p-poor little Jane . . .

King: Jane was given common sense, and to my mind, Belinda, common sense is a remarkably fine gift, better even than all the ' high-falutin fol-de-rols bos towed on the other three . . . Sunbeam's fairest face beneath the light of day, forsooth! Do her more good to be downright ugly and have a kind heart. Queen (aghast): Cedric! How can you say such dreadful things? King (with firmness): I can and I will. (He takes up his position, feet astride and hands behind his* back in front of the fireplace.) Queen (still sniffing): -And there's another terrible problem. Whom can she p-possibly marry? The third princess always marries a charcoal burner's son who is a prince in disguise—and goodness knows it's hard enough to find even one of them in these days, but a fourth princess. Whoever shall we find for a husband for p-poor little Jane? (She begins to'sob again.) King (who has. been sniffing the air and paying little heed to hi* royal consort's words. Indeed by now he is on his knees peering up the chimney): The chimney sweep! Queen: The chimney sweep. Cedric, what do you mean? . . . and why on earth are you sniffing about like that on all four*? King (irritably rising from his knees): I mean what I said. We must have the chimney sweep at once, Belinda. There's a distinct smell of soot in the loom. (He goes round sniffing the air.) Mark my words, if we don't have the sweep to-morrow the place will be covered in soot. (And he marches out of the room.) CURTAIN - . Scene 11. The same afternoon. A charcoal burner's cottage in the neighbouring Kingdom of Quagmire cum Swamp. (As the curtain rises, the charcoal burner's wife is rocking a cradle, while the charcoal burner (spectacles on nose) is busy looking at the pages of a dictionary open in his hands. Two crowns hang on nails on the wall.) Charcoal Burner's Wife (ex-Queen of Cresfonia) (briskly): Hurry up, Ferdinand. I want to get his name settled before I call the other children in to put them to bed. Charcoal Burner (ex-King of Crestonia): Let me see, let me see, we've had Charming and Courteous

and last time it was Courageous. Ex-Queen: Yes, yea! I know. Not that their names are very suitable now, T>oor lambs. Prince Charming and Prince Courteous sounded fine when we were happily living in our palace in f'restonia before the revolution, but now that the Republicans have turned us out and we are fugitives, those names seem rather inappropriate, I'm glad we failed our third son Courageous. That's a zood name for our present circumstances. . . . Now. then, father, begin at the 'bejrinninz of the C's again, and read out anv likelv names. F-.v-Kinp: Cabin, Cabinet, Cable. How would that do? Sounds strong and all that. Ex-Queen (decidedly): No. I don't like it. Tsn't there some proverb about givinz a man enouzh rope to hang himself! That won't do for a son of ours. Ex-Kins (continues) : Cackle, Cactus, Caitiff. Calculus. Ex-Queen (interrupting): Calculus. Prince Calculus, that has a fine sound. TV' at does it mean? Ex-King (reading laboriously): "Calculations based on minute differences." Ex-Oueen (puzzled): Eh? . . .minute differences. . . . Oh, that isn't

any use, Ferdinand. The boy would be quarrelling all day long with his brothers ... Go on. Ex-King: Calico, Callow, Cambric, Cameo, Camero, Camisole. (He pauses for breath.) Ex-Queen: Camisole! That's more suitable for a girl. Ex-King (continuing to read, mutters names inaudibly as his finger wanders up and down the pages until he suddenly gays): How about Caraway; that sounds well? Ex-Queen: Caraway? Never! Why the child would always be seedy. Try again. (The search continues till at last the wandering finger comas to rest in triumph.) t Ex-King: I have it . . . Common Sense. How's that? Ex-Queen (with approval in her voice): Common Sense. Why, yes! That sounds the right type of name for a penniless prince who will have to make his own way in the world. I haven't any fears for Charming and Courteous, or even Courageous, for he's I a third son. and third sons are always j lucky, but our poor little fourth son, it stands to reason that he must have the best name we can give him, especially as there are no royal nurseries now to rear him in. (She bends over the cradle affectionately.)

Ex-King: You're right, Millicent. Still, a boy with a name like Common Sense ought to do well for himself, especially in a democratic age like ours. We'll certainly christen him Common Sense, and hope that he's inherited a little from you and me, eh, my dear? (He rises to walk over to the cradle as the curtain falls.) CURTAIN". Scene 111. The Queen's boudoir in the Palace of Poponaketl, Skydom cum Steeplejack, 18 years later. The three Princesses, Sunbeam, Moonlight, Stardust, are busy with their trousseaux with beautiful garments spread in every direction about the room. Jane sits on a stool apart; she is very simply dressed in grey and white. Sunbeam (who is dressed in orange and red): Oh, what a thrill! Fancy three weddings to-morrow. What do you think of this lovely diadem my Prince, Peacock has given me, Jane? Jane (examining it): It's wonderful. Moonlight (who is dressed - in pale blue): And my Prince Petulant has just sent these pearls for me to. wear. (She holds up a pearl necklace which Jane duly admires.) Don't you envy me, Jane, poor Jane? Stardust (who is dressed in golden yellow): Yes, poor Jane! Ah well, that's what comes of being s> fourth daughter. . . . Look at my new diamond shoe buckles, Jane. • Prince Pancake sent them this morning. Jane: I think they are very beautiful. Sunbeam (posing in her diadem before the mirror): Poor Jane, I'm sorry for Jane. She will feel out of it to-mor-row when we marry our fine princes and go to live in the kingdom of Paraphernalia. Moonlight (playing with her pearls): Yes, indeed. Our charm and wealth