THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 48, 26 February 1937, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.) SHAFTS. Seen at Takapuna —a budgerigar riding on the 'back of a small black dog. The two play together daily, and woe betide any marauding cat who should attempt to harm the bird while its guardian is about. It almost Wats the lion lying down with the lamb, for in that case. as a cynic pointed out, only one of them got up again.

Mr. Semple's latest outburst concerning bank managers: 'I would sooner have ten navvies than one bank manager. I would like to see bank managers wearing dungarees." If such a sartorial transformation were to take place the bank managers would naturally wear "bowvangs"—to keep out the overdrafts. — B.C.H.

"I was delighted to find that among New Zealand girls make-up is not overdone," said Countess Haig. "They have real faces; not horrid masks. Thcv use IN THE RED. lipstick, but very little

of it. It is horrible to see every cigarette girls smoke covered with red. isn't it?'' That really should be used without comment, but then, that would be plagiarism, wouldn't it? It reminded oie of the first time I took my great-Aunt Jane into a hotel lounge here. "There," she said, in terms of shocked amazement, "just look at those cocktail glasses, all covered with red. Isn't it terrible the way these modern girls use lipstick?" I agree with her; it gets everywhere, all over your dress shirts and everything. So unladylike, you know, to be so messy. Why can't they all 'be like Liz. who. the last tire she was arrested, told the magistrate: "Pr-r-unk I may 'ave bin. yer 'onor, but dishorderlv ? Xiver. . . . Halwavs a Ivdv.''—Kea.

Quite a number of Scots jolces are brought to mind by the information published in the dailies this week that a Caledonian Society has been founded on WaiA SCOTS VICE. heke. "As if blackberry, piripiri and rabbits weren't enough.'' moan the Sassenach inhabitants of the ksle. Still, the founding of Caledonian societies is an ineradicable vice of the Scots, and, though it Is in itself by no means the worst, it leads to their indulgence in their other debasing passions, such as eating haggis, playing bagpipes, quoting Burns and arguinjf theology. Two Scotsmen are a quorum for a Caledonian Society anywhere. as witness the well-known story of the six shipwrecked men who landed one morning on a desert island. They were two Englishmen, two Irishmen and two Scotsmen. By evening of the same day the two Englishmen had not spoken, not having been introduced, the two Irishmen were fighting and the two Scotsmen were holdinr a meeting of the Caledonian Societv.—l.M.

"Touchstone" writes: A correspondent asks for the meaning and pronunciation of the word "scienter." a legal term used in a judgment. The word is pronounced MEANING sigh-en-ter (sigh as in OF WORDS, sighing), with the stress on the middle syllable. It means knowledge which in law renders one liable for an act. Used as an adverb it means with knowledge or purposely. "Racing Enthusiast'' asks for the definition of a classic race. For the reply "Touchstone"' is indebted to a racing journalist. He says that the term is used much too loosely, especially for two-year-old races and weight-for-age races, none of which are classics in the strict sense of the racing term. He adds that the Guineas, Derby. Oaks and St. Leger are properly Included in the classic races. It is hard to say how the ,word came to be applied to races of any kind. The adjective classic means "belonging to the first class or rank,"' especially in literature and art, but the noun specifically means any book or work of art that may be regarded as a standard or model, and especially any literary or artistic production of Greek or Roman genius.

To every man the collective fever comes at some period of his life. 'Some it strikes badly, remaining with them for long periods; others are only temCOUPON porarilv smitten with a COLLECTING, passing fancy for stamps, actresses' photographs, matchbox tops and first editions. In its worst forms, however, the disease has been known to remain with the victim for the,rest of his natural life. Philatelists and numismatists, versed in the collecting art by parents, have "been known to live long live*» and die irnirmuring still of matters philatelic and numismatical. Xow a craze once rife has been resurrected. The latest practice is to fill in newspaper coupons offering free samples for the cost of postage. 'Modern youths and maidens are apparently quite satisfied to spend a few pence in stamps if the return post will bring samples of face creams, shaving soap, books on dietetics and ranees of dress materials and suitings. Percival William, from whom I am able to ascertain every movement among the juvenile community, is the proud possessor of two butter boxes full of samples and literature (the latter supplied for the most part by efficient tourist departments and shjppins offices), and has started on his third case. This, he states, is a fascinating hobby, a hobby that keeps him in a constant state of excitement, for he knows not what the postman will bring from day to day. One butter box represents approximately six weeks' coupon-filling and the expenditure of five shillings.—John.

This i« the debunking age. XothinT is I safe. Our eldest and most cherished beliefs are being annihilated one after the other. Mr. C. H. R. Taylor, assistant MUSIC. librarian at the Tiirnbull Library, gave everybody a bad jolt the other day when he disposed of Cinderella's glass slipper, and told us it was just squirrel skin. Another illusion to which you hold flrmlv is that the Pied Piper led all the rat* away bv the virtue of his magic music. Quite wrong. The rats went first and the piper followed. He didn't play magic music—he "played jazz. Rats hate jazz. Science has established the fact. A gentleman in East Prussia has just played jazz to all his rats on an accordion, and now his neighhours have all the rats, and he kee|vs the accordion as a sort of protective armament. But some of the music experiments leave one a little sceptical. A Lancashire farmer. I am certain, either libels the cow. or himself keeps a very lowbrow variety, when he declares that they respond to jazz music by giving more and better milk. Even the bov on the outback cow farm knows that if Daisy is sulky and inclined to withhold her milk the sovereign remedy is to sing to her. Daisy, as a rule, isn't very exacting in her musical requirements. and you don't have to telesraph for Peter Dawson. Any old voice will do so long as the song is of the soothing variety. I knew a man with a voice like a rusty saw who used to work miracles on the cows by singing "Jerusalem," and "Danny Bov'' was calculated to send the temperamental Jerseys into an ecstatic trance wherein they would yield milk for hours! Wagner drives Hereford* mad. but negro spirituals will find them keeping time contentedly with the lvottom jaw. But. no matter what the music, don't try whistling it to the cow. There isn't a cow in existence that won't try to kick you out of the bail if you persistently whistle to it. When the new radio policy get« fairly into its stride there will probably be special milking-time sessions for the benefit of the cows.—B.O'N.