The Editor suggests

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 25, 30 January 1937, Page 2 (Supplement)

The Editor suggests

IN VERSELAND

Mary Greig—Your three litlle poems are very musical. Mary. The oppression • nneT (lav tiles" spoils the dreamy eiTect or ••Triolet.•• The last ltne or "He Phall sing of Madness" is rather meaningless. Take rare not to make your images too fanciful. Colleen Austin— Many of your do not tit into tin' metrical pattern or your vor.-e. The similes y< u liave us-d art- not Appropriate either. Colleen. ou cannot compart' the sun to a drifting bird In lllght. Ngaire Hogan—The first stanza or your IMjc-m on "Cameos"' is good, Ngaire. but the remaining verses do not attain the same .-taiiilaril. Vou have chosen an Interesting and unusual subject. Nita Williams—\ very good attempt for a nine-year-old. >iia. -Autumn" is not. however. giM>d munch fur publication. IT you keep on trying your work will improve. Eileen Bradham—You should not bring e\|ir.'ss.tins into your verse Just because ihev help out with the rhyme—quite regardles- or whetlier they add to the meaning or not. 11 is decidedly odd to describe an old chair as being "made in Brazil with hammer and drill." Joyce Boag—-i.jpsy UTe" Is rair. Joan, but you have not made it very realistic. Try a subject with which you art.- m >re 1 amiliar.

Daphne Law—Yo-ur lltMe poem was crul:* good. Daphne. You should watch the metro <>r your lines carefully, as you una to lose the rhythm altogether at times. Marie Wright—Vjur verse nas Tc.t yet reached publication standard. Marie, but ;t shows promise and you should keep on trying. Yes. you can submit stories too. Margaret Mackenzie—A pleasant little poem but not of sufficiently standard for publication. The rhyming has made r. rather -ingsong. Betty Chewum —There are some awkward lines in 'I d Like to He." The poem has b'-en altered in one or two places— e.g.. line < "Cape or Good Hope" spoilt the metre. Where did you get the Inspiration Tor the poem. Betty? Myrtle Wood — The ?ea" is ratter 100 long and i» conrused in places. Myrtle. The most pleasing stanza is that whicli describes the wheeling gulls. "A Scene" is spoilt bv severai very ordinary lines. The verse- to - Fallen Flowers'' show «iucfc greater promise and will be puMlsijo* The>e verges show great depth or reebafr for so young a writer. C Grade poems have been sent Jn by the following people who must work diligently to bring their work up to publication standard:—Jov Muller. Olive Lodge. Mavis liver. Coiin De Luca. Eileen Simmond*. Thelma Richards, reggx Brennan.