HE CHANCED HIS ARM.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 25, 30 January 1937, Page 10 (Supplement)

HE CHANCED HIS ARM.

(By COLIN HOWARD.)

tCTT'S a peach of a day!" said William A Calder, stirring his coffee with zest. ''And I'm very ill."' "111!" I'eter Blinkhorii, who shared digc; with William, looked at the other with concern. "You look pretty tit." "Nevertheless," said William, firniU;. am smitten with the palsy, and don't you forget it. I bravely tried to get up this morning. failed, and you had to carry me hack to bed uttering faint, harrowing moans. My ailment is a peculiar and elusive one - you can't quite put a name to it -but you've no doubt I'll be all right by to-morrow. Can you remember all that t" "I suppose T could if I wanted to. But why should I?" "Because you're going to ring up my office presently, old boy, and say your piece to then over the 'phone."

"But—" "It's just one of those little eases where the boss and the employee might fail to see eye to eye. Okl Grayson would prefer to think of me treating my disorder by lying in bed pining for the old office stool. "I bring a wider vision to bear 011 the ease. I have no hesitation in prescribing a dose of sea air for myself.'' • • • • Peter duly telephoned to William's office, as requested. and saw no more of the invalid ujitU breakfast the following morning. William bounded into the meal rubbing his hands and exuding an obnoxious air of bursting health and well-being. "Gosh! I feel grand!" he carolled. "Give me some breakfast, old boy— becon and eggs for six will about meet the case, I think. Thanks. And a quart or so of coffee. That's the ticket! Xow, old boy, if you'll kindly keep quiet whilst I glance at the paper—we men of affairs have to keep abreast of what's going on in the world, you know.

"Gosh!" groaned William again. The inflexion this time, however, was different. "Something wrong?" inquired Peter. "Look for yourself!" moaned William. Peter looked. The back jx»ge of the newspaper gave prominence to a largo photograph of a figure, quite unmistakably William, emerging from the waves clad in a bathing costume and nonchalantly dragging after him « second figure who, to judge from his expression, had lost his enthusiasm for bathing. "Of all the pests known to suffering humanity," cried William. deeply moved, "these übiquitous blokes with cameras are the worst! I thought I heard a click! If I'd seen what it was I'd hove shattered his camera into forty thousand little pieces. And him. too," ss id William, a 6 an afterthought.

"Don't you see? Old Grayson takes this paper in. And, the whole of yesterday I was lying here on a l>eri of sickness." "It's siK'li a darned good photograph of you—that's the trouble. Couldn't be anybody but you—excepting your twin brother." "Twin brother!" William sat up with a jerk. .My gosh, old boy. you've saved me! Of course it was my twin brother!" "You haven't got one." '"I've got one from no\v on." • • • # Being of the opinion that it was a part that required dressing. William borrowed from Peter clothes that would be unfamiliar to the office, brushed his hair straight back instead of with a .side parting, and invested sixpence in a pair of spectacles. Thus armed, he attended the offices of Messrs. Grayson and Co. in the city. "Hullo. Calder!" said Simpson, the chief clerk. '"Thought you weren't coining this morning?" "You know mv name?" said William, puzzled.

"What do you mean—l know your name? And let me tell you something—Mr. Grayson's got it in soak for you. He's seen that photograph in the paper, and —" At that moment Mr. Grayson himself appeared in the outer office. "Ah, Calder!" said he, unpleasantly. "Come into my office. I want a word with you." William, registering perplexed ignorance with a fair amount of success, obeyed. "Wlmt the devil." inquired Mr. (Irayson. "were you doing at Lymeeliffe yesterday ?" "And what the devil." answered William. with spirit, "has it got to do with you Mr. Grayson, appearing to find some difficulty with his respiratory organs, said it had a lot to do with him. Ho said as much at some length, and with regrettable redundancy. "I don't know what you're talking about!" sighed William, patiently. "I'd like to see my brother. William Calder. please, when you've quite finished. "Oh!" paid Mr. Grayson. "Tf I might have a word with him —" "I'm sorry,"said Mr. Grayson, deflating. "I—T rather thought you were your brother. He's away, at the moment. I'm afraid, ill." "What?" bellowed William. "Is the old horse ill? Poor old William laid low? My gosh, this is terrible! T must rush round with grapes and whatnot! Why wasnt I told before? Why t his conspiracy to keep me in ignorance of my broters illness? Where is he? Could you give me his address?" Mr. Grayson could. Mr. Grayson did. Mr. Grayson appeared most desirous of erasing the nearly unpleasant impression he had made. "Thanks, old boy." said William, fulfilling a long-cherished ambition l>y so addressing his employer. "Much obliged. Poor old William! Been overdoing it. I suppose. Always was a glutton for T ork- , A fact - IrTI afraid." said William. with quiet meaning, "that some people are only too ready to take advantage of." _ Two days later. William was sufficiently recovered from hi-s mysterious malady to return to his duties. He was sitting quietly at his desk upon his first morning back when the door opened, and a little, eager, bald-headed man bounced in. stared adoringly at William and. clasping his hands, exclaimed with much fervour: "My preserver!" "Xot. me. sir—my twin brother." "T—T understood that this was where my gallant rescuer worked." he said. "Some member of the crowd at Lyme■lifTe told me—my name, by the way. is Crowtlier—that he had often seen the hero in the city, and believed that he worked in this office." "Xo. no!" said William. firmly. "Another office altogether--one out in Australia. "Sour friend must have been thinking of me." "You two are really amazingly alike." "We've been like it from children." ■aid William, shepherding Mr. Crow ther out. • • • • A fortnight passed and the incident had almost faded from his niemorv. The weather turned extremely hot and William considered a return of the symptoms that had caused him to absent himself from the office before. Peter, however. argued strenuously against any such course. The heat increased, and Mr. Grayson, in the interests of maintained efficiency, was compelled to make reluctant concessions to his staff. He imported icewater, installed, additional electric fans and issued ]>erinis>ion to work in shirtsleeves. William wasted no time in thankfully stripping himself of his jacket and rolling his sleeves almost to his shoulders. Ten minutes later, at the express request of Mr. Grayson. William was resuming his coat. ' William wore a somewhat dazed expression, natural, perhaps, to a young man who has just listened to three minutes' hard talking culminating in Irs dismissal. "But but I don't understand, sir." said William, plaintively. "What have 1 done?"' For answer. Mr. Grayson plunged into liis room and emerged brandishing the newspaper containing the photograph of the modest hero.

"Do Tou want any more explanation than that?'' he demanded, wrathfully stabbing an indicatory finger et th'e photograph. William, studying the photograph, didn't. He made a mental note that no man. however young, romantic and hot-headed, should ever allow the strength of liis affection to drive him to the lengths of having the name of his beloved tattooed on his arm. Tlie name of ""Barbara" had long faded from his heart, but it had not j faded from the region just above his ; left elbow. It was clearly to be seen j in the photograph. ! Rightly or wrongly, William gathered that the matter was now closed. He ' took a sad farewell of the office, and I departed. .Just outride he eiicoiiu- I tered Mr. Crowtlier. William accorded . Mr. C'rowther a look of intense dislike, j It would have been so much better for > all concerned, thought William, if Mr. C'rowther had been left in the eea. "Ha!" said Mr. Crowtlier. "I was coming to see you. A fine, courageous ; young fellow such as your brother is just the sort of man I like to have in my employ. I could have offered him a very good job, with excellent prospects." t "Hold on a minute!" begged William, feverishly. "I—l might be able to find him for yon." "Just a moment," said Mr. Cijowther, suspiciously. "Er—T don't want to be insulting, but if you were thinking of —er —palming yourself off in his place, in order to get this job for yourself, it would l>e a waste of your time. You may be very much alike, but I do remember noticing that he had the name 'Barbara' tattooed on his arm." • • • • "And he still has," said William. "I'll tell him to show it to you when h« reports at your office. What were you thinking of starting him at?" "You really think you can find him for me I" "I won't promise," said William, "but something distinctly tells me that I shall be able to. I get these feelings, you know."