The Editor suggests

Auckland Star, Volume LXVII, Issue 253, 24 October 1936, Page 3 (Supplement)

The Editor suggests

Bryan Reid—You have a certain ability for rhyming-, and should in a lew years he able to write fair verse. Remember, though, that poetry is more than mere rhyming-, and do not add lines that will not harmonise witii the subject. Margaret Mackenzie—You should he careful about your rhymes, Margaret. For instance, gone does not rhyme with done. Pansy Thirkottle—"Moonshine" was hard to read, Pansy, because your writing is not too clear and your spelling is weak. When writing verse; you iriust begin each line on a ncyy line of your paper. Phyllis Ward—Your verses are well written, Phyllis, but not or surncient 'interest to be published. Agnes Qill—l do not think it right to say or so fleeting a 'thing as a rainbow that "Its beauty grows as the years roll on." The sentiment is very tine, but you do not. use most suitable words. Myrtle Wood—Such abbreviations as 'midst and 'neath are quite correct In verse. They are frequently convenient for the sake of the metre. Your verse is very light tout pleasing. The last stanza of "Popples in the Wheat" is not exactly in keeping with those preceding. "The Twilight Comes" shows promise. "My Little Grey Tree" is not so good—the lines tend to drag. Keith Walker—The lines or "Misty Morning" are too cumbersome, Keith. The repetition or the same phrases at the end of each stanza give this effect. As rat as rhythm is conccrned, "Bush Morning" reads better, but you should check the spelling of native llower names—for by rewlrewi I presume you mean rewarewa, and by kihkatea, kahikatea. You should be careful about your facts, too. "Bush Twilight" Is better than your two other pieces.

Mary Greig—"Brave Soldier" anrl "The .Monster" are not up to your usual standi! nl. Mary. The former is the better of the two. ' Your shorter poems are much more pleasing-. Mary Fletcher—"To the Sun" is a very liirht and rather meaningless little poem. You have done much better with "A Blind Man's Prayer." Patricia Glucina—There arc some good lines In "Everyone Sang," bus the. meaning is not too rlear at times. You have too many syllables in the last two lines or each stanza. Your work shows promise, and should improve. Audrey Beck —"lirey Mountains" Is quite good, Audrey, but a IHtle monotonous. This Is due to the sameness or the rhymes. Try 10 get more variety. Margaret O'Dowd—"Evening Shadows" is very light, Mar.-'iret. Try not to use so many hackneyed expressions. Calvin Hoaley—The moral of "Sweetness" is very well expressed, Calvin. Avoid such unnecessary expressions as "Her tale of woe it, was tlie same as e'er was told from East to West." You could have omitted the llrst stanza altogether. Phyllis Clarke—"Lovable Things" is a pleasant little poem, Phyllis. Be careful not to confuse your metaphors. Diamonds glisten with lights of every hue, not pearls. Jean Fitzpatrlck—You have made your line rhyme, Joan, but you have disregarded metre altogether. Your poem Is too like prose. Jean Adolph—The idea or "The Mb and the Penwiper" is good, Jean. The metre of your lines is not good, though. Exer cise more care in 'the choice or words. C grade poems were sent In by the Tollowing people:—lV. Muir, Vera Mason, Lynne Sutherland, Sylvia .Morgan, S. Mckenzie, Fay Fox.

JOKES. (Sent in b.v Elaine Smith. 2,1, Main Itoad. (Kohiniarama.) "Sambo, whar yo get that watch von wear to meelin' last Sunday?" "How do yoii know 1 halt a watch?" "Because I seed the chain hang out de pocket in" front." "Do 'way, nigger! S'pose you see a halter round my neck, you t'ink dar is horse inside ob me?" Schoolmaster: What are the products of the West Indies? Scholar: I don't know, sir. Schoolmaster: Come, come! Where do you get your sugar from? Scholar: We generally borrow it frc«n the people next door.