THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVII, Issue 243, 13 October 1936, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.) SO UNNECESSARY. In Soviet Russia lipstick flavoured with champagne, wine or cocktails is being used in order to produce intoxicating kisses. —News item. We may quote this or that innovation, And regard things as novel —but stay. Nothing under the sun is quite new, its been don© Through the ages in some other way. Whi'e in Russia they're now mixing kisses With a liquid refreshment to throw Some intoxication in all oscu'ation, Hasn't kissing been always just so'. » Haven't swains down the years gone all goosey. , „ . As their lips they press firmly and flat On to lips they adore? Well, there's nothing, I'm sure. Can intoxicate fellows like that. No, the alcohol flavour's not needed. When you're kissing a pretty young miss, For the man isn't bred who will not lose his head. And it always has happened like this. When, last month,,l was on my vacation, And chanced on the seashore to stroll. It was there I met June at the foot of a dune ('Twas a case of soul calling to soul). Just one kiss, in a moment of madness, But an re' I'll regret all my life. For it cost a fur coat and a twenty-pound note— What! For June? Not at all —for my wife! —C.G.

The death of Arthur Eliot, who was-police-man, stoker, butler, steward, tram conductor and croupier, is apparently announced, not so much because of Arthur's "W.G." versatility as a worker as because "he played cricket with W. ft. ftrace," the giant Gloucestrian with the midnight beard and in whose hands a bat looked like a salt spoon. There was probably nothing to prevent Arthur playing cricket with Grace—the greatest of "the three Graces," for the G.O.M. of cricket would play with anybody. "W.G." on a certain occasion, probably remembered by about two persons besides present recorder, saw some small lads playing more or less cricket on the grounds of Cheltenham College. "W.G." stuck a single stump in the ground, placed a sovereign on the top, defended the wicket, and challenged any boy to bowl him; said any lad who could do so could have the sow A most ardent young cub (nowadays he keeps a celebrated West of England outfitting place) picked up the ball and bowled the great one first pop! Grace was so pleased that he augmented that coin and told the kiddie he'd make a great bowler. Young O. not only became a great bowler —but he sold them.

In old Madrid the curfew boll at present rings at eleven in the evening in order to give no spot of light for airmen to drop bombs on. The old Norman habit LIGHTS OUT. of "Couvre Feu" (heaven send the spelling is right!) did not take cognisance of air raids, and the curfew bell of England used to ring out much earlier in the evening. Covering the fire, one takes it meant not only dousing the glim, and putting out the candle, but actually covering the home fires, very likely to let the authorities (if any) know that all the people were in bed and not prowling around the streets with blackthorns looking for easy money. About the only person who didn't cover his fire in old curfew days was the watchman with the horn-faced lantern, covering a well of stinking fish or other oil. Presumably thk policeman used his lantern to see his watch when he howled out the time of night. He had no electric torch or dollar watch, and often (correct one if one errs historically) wanderers in the dark having no companies (o promote, for pastime stuck a "tuck' in the watchman's ribs or turned his watch box upside down on him. During the Great Mistake cover-fire was the law of England once more, and—it will be the law again.

Here is the text of a telegram received from Dunedin by an Auckland firm: "Send I five hundred meal worms per air mail." Maybe the message will be THE FLYING cryptographic to those WORMS, who are not of a vermiciliary tendency, but it is obvious that the meal worm supply of Caversham is depleted, that meal worms are not a Caversham product or that Auckland has the only super meal worms. One ascertains that i the meal worms that are to fly to Cliristcliurch I are the type of worm prized so much by piper fishers, and this particular batch is to be food for a very special prize bird who craves this sustenance. These meal worms before being luscious food for an aristocratic bird are fattened in- meal, fit meal for high-born birds. If you could induce Cliristcliurch to go in for aristocratic birds which could be only adequately fed on the super meal worms of Auckland, there would probably be a special air service for them in time. Those unacquainted with this aerial industry may imagine difficulties in counting the exact order of five hundred meal worms. They squirm, but ex'pert meal worm counters grasp the worm behind the ears firmly between the thumb and finger, and, detaching him from his platoon or battalion, drop him' lightly into the container, his companions being counted j thus until the order is filled. There are great I organisations which supply anything from elephants to ant eggs. There would-be less trouble in counting an order for half a thousand elephants than five hundred meal worms.

Dear M.A.T., —Perhaps some people will still think that Richard John Seddon's endeavour to teach New Zealand lads that a ~ wc ' l:ive scas and ships AMOKURA BOYS, to sail was to some extent fruitless. As another Amokura boy (1007-S), please permit me to enlighten those who are interested in the sea and ships by stating that New Zealand has produced from this" little ship (805 tons), barquentine rig, some very fine sailors, to mention a few that T know of. We have on the pilot staff at Melbourne Walker and Davis; as lieutenant-commander, Roval Australian Navy, a lad called Bevan; Chief Petty Officer J. Hannan, lost 011 the saucv Arethusa at the Battle of Jutland; Captain C. Sharpc, Captain P. Miles, Chief Officers F. Fisher and 0. Sharpe still going strong on vessels plving 011 the coast and to Australia; "Hooky" Walker was captain on sailing ships as far away as the Baltic Sea prior to the Great War, even at his young age. This surely speaks volumes for the training received and the ability of the New Zealand lad to follow the sea with credit to himself and his little country. There are many others serving in different shipping companies, perhaps not so high up the ladder of success, but are boatswains, quartermasters, etc. Captain G. Millard was another boy who proved himself a fine sailor and loved by all who knew him during the years he was trading between Queensland coast towns and through the Great Barrier Reef. This gallant seaman lost his life with all hands in a ter,rifle cyclone there some three years ago. No doubt the same class of boy exists in New Zealand to-day, who, with the same training could take his place alongside the most accomplished seamen of the world. Perhaps some other Amokura boy might be able to add to this list of successful lads from the old hooker.—W.H.B.

THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. Knowledge brings doubt, and ignorance brings confidence.—Anon. The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of work.—Bolton.