THEY MISSED!

Auckland Star, Volume LXVII, Issue 194, 17 August 1936, Page 6

THEY MISSED!

(By BAXTER O'NEILL.) From diversions of the moment for a moment please desist To consider how the Opposition lamentably m issed When they failed so unexpectedly when called upon to state Their economic notions in the Budget'ry debate. No ice'.l intentioned plan of theirs the subject thus dismissed, For each icas a potential and an anxious moralist; Of facts and telling figures they'd assembled quite a list But when the moment came to use 'em, ichy, tliey merely missed! And how! It is really rather a pity that j this thing happened. Of course, it has saved us from the long, monotonous spate of talk that is usually the people's penalty for having a Budget, but, on the other hand, just think of the tojuc of conversation it will furnish these Parliamentary fellows with when they get back into their own home towns. Once I knew a fellow who had been in Parliament. He led us a terrible life. If we dared to aspire to a reputation for a storied past by relating a personal incident he would just look upon us with bored toleration for a while, and then would interrupt: "Now, when I was in Parliament . " and then would follow some fearsome anecdote that put us all back in the hack class again. But he has gone away and we have all been having glorious opportunities again. And now this lias happened. It is an occasion for dolorous doggerel. Boy! the office lute ! The Speaker sat in his usual place, His wig on his head and all solemn his face, While, sorted in parties—the stronger, the weaker — 'The members sat round and looked at 'the Speaker, Who didn't look back at the members at all, But stared straight ahead at the opposite wall, And listened as though 'twas his wish to remember The words that befell from the Government member For Marsden, one Barclay, a North Auckland rep, Whose speech was not too full of ginger, and pep, But whose role is important, for kindly remember, This member called Barclay's a Government member, 'And though not important like Speaker or Minister Was called to a role both historic and sinister, F'or an alioays capricious, satirical Fate Ordained that he'd finish the Budget debate. Mr. Barclay sat down and the Speaker looked round For another to follow, but never a sound Broke the silence that settled as quiet as a mouse O'er the members who sat in that dumbfounded House Each glued to his bench by a stark inanition As, caught unawares, failed the whole Opposition. 'For the Speaker looked round as I told you before Brit never a man took his place on the floor; He looked at the parties—the stronger, the weaker — But the parties sat dumb and just looked at the Speaker, Whereat Mr. Nash, as unready as they Who had failed in this very Gilbertian way, His notes all unready, his notions awry, No option could claim but to rise and reply, Which he did in some iron's that were scattered atid few, And that is the way that the Budget went through, And that is the way, for the cause icas the same, How Marsden'a Barclay ascended to fame.