RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVII, Issue 193, 15 August 1936, Page 2

RANDOM SHOTS.

(By " ZAMIEL.")

"Stocking of Streams." Giving the .rout socks!

l'eople coining to the citv by train complain of cold feet. Strange! There's 110 war 011.

Ex King Alfonso is having a nice holiday among the Austrian lakes — building castles in Spain.

British holiday traffic is the highest for years. If New Zealand farmers will go Home 12 at a time—

Fish were so excessively plentiful lately in Auckland, that they were given away —at the usual prices.

Yes certainly the outlook is brighter. The new burnished bronzed Edward VIII. penny cannot long be delayed.

Xo, Horace—your reasoning is unsound. Mr. Savage has not up to the moment decided on a bachelor's tax.

When an American crack girl runner won a race at the Olympiad, German girls wept. Gretchen was in full cry.

LoncUnn is installing the dial telephone system. Some Cockney has been writing Home about our system.—Copy Cat!

A London financial authority sees in the Sew Zealand budget the fruits of recovery. The apples of tlieir eyes, so as to speak.

"Where stands the Maori?" asks a headline. Well, I should say about Customs Street, or between that and Kohimarama.

The Japanese are going in for whaling on a stupendous scale, thus menacing the supply of jawbone hitherto available to Western politicians.

I note that the dentist in Australia has a higher social status than his brother dentist in New Zealand. Perhaps he has more pull.

There is nothing like being conservative. A correspondent has declared that the mental health of some motorists is five years. As old as that?

Headlines: "One Hundred Killed or Wounded." "Little Military Damage Done." Pooh! —a hundred men. Thank heaven the bricks are not damaged.

The Supreme Court building is being improved. Personally I don't know what an improvement to the building would consist of. You see, I'm no judge.

From an American source, I ascertain that the ' United States has 17,000,000 telephones and the rest of the world only 15,000,000. Wrong numbers !

I have been wandering among the portraits of athletes in the Berlin games. lam disappointed. Not one in a thousand goes bald-headed for anything. Poland desires colonies, partly in South Africa. She desires John Bull to lend her the money to run the said colonies. In the words of the Prophet— sez you!

On a recent occasion 23 bagpipe bands competed in Dunedin. Man, but its subsequent exhibition of thirst was among the finest sights Otago has ever witnessed.

I learn with profound sorrow that many local people gazed at a comet'with naked eyes. Despite my utmost endeavours tliis regrettable nudity persists.

Every Italian soldier who served in Ethiopia gets a bonus of three pounds. Those who are permanently staying in Ethiopia are to receive a little stone token in lieu of pay.

ITave you noticed the charming black and white checks so popular for ladies' wear? And have you noticed the charming black and" white cheques perenially popular with both sexes.

The Governor-General of Canada, and the President of U.S.A., have met in fraternity. But it was the Governor of North Carolina who said to the Governor of South Carolina, "It's a long time between drinks."

I know a dear fellow who looks in a lovely shop window every morning at nine,, gloats over a shiny ornament marked"f7so/, consults his ten"jewclled ' three and sixpenny watch and thanks God for a good breitkfast.