THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVII, Issue 64, 16 March 1936, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

"CAVEMAN STUFF." The dotective-scrgcant said that accubcd ms ,-eccntlv before the Court tor alleged assault on a woman he was waitiiig to maiuyThe Magistrate: He must be an ardent k»v - (Laughter.) "Yes, sir," replied counsel. Some people have various methods of showing their affection. Caveman, stuff."—News item.

Yes, lovers were "he-men" and women weie Their 1 true love'was shown In the days of the Then a no e ne e hid illusions or fancy "complexes/; For everyone joined in ''the war of the sexes. Their primitive passions ran iudei ana ias^ 1 ' For women w ere chattels and Man was the master.

Society's vogue in the forest primeval Was forma? but rough to the point of A bucko a ensiaved by the style of a flapper Expressed his devotion by cracks on the And ' coy damsel repulsed him with He d safl° n her affectionate taps with a bludgeon.

mptllods emphatic and firmly persuasive, the ladies from -being evasive. The mascuMne method of keeping them loving Was treating 'em roughly and pushing and A "stouslVMn the dial or yanks on her tresses Wfere definite hints to return his caresses. Thus primitive cavemen displayed their And a filled 0 up their caverns with dainty Thev°"pu"?£ Uie boot" without any excuses And kept the girls quiet with black eyes and if the harem was howling in They'd° rU soo the them with tit-bits of ichthyosaurus. Ain^ T Things have altered with civilisation, AruT sentiment governs the whole situation. For folokos who demonstiate love Must S not a be aggressive—she might bd- a And S cave men who think that their tactics will fool her t , Run serious risks of some time cooler." j. —tu.A. The heir of a local, yachting enthusiast borrowed tlio latter's yacht, and collecting three young "Liptons" about his own age, set y 0 out for Waiheke to spend WEATHERBOUND! the week-end. Tl ' e weather was not suitable for cricket, but it wasn't really bad, considerably weaker than the recent storm which brought much compensation to orchardists. At Waiheke the quartet had. a great time, so much so that when Sunday evening arrived and it was time to prepare for the beat back home a conference was held. The upshot was the sending of the following message: "Weatherbound, won't be home for a fortnight"! The father did not reply. He knew his son, and also knew that if ho did reply the son would say he didn't receive it.

Sir Herbert Lawrence, chairman of a great armament firm, recently made the statement, and made it bluntly for all to understand, that his company has perMERCHANTS fected at great cost the OF DEATH, most deadly anti-aircraft

gun in the world—and is selling it to foreign countries. It will neither shock nor startle the men who traffic in weapons of war. Soldiers of many nationalities have been killed by shells and bullets and bombs and guns manufactured in their own country. One cannot blame the arms manufacturer any more than one can the vulture. The only difference is that the vultures do ngt provide the carrion they devour. "They are both merchants of death."

It wafted through tlie tramcar like ,an anaesthetic. Men of middle age sniffed it and became drowsy, only retaining their, consciousness by lowering the GREATEST The flapper, DISCOVERY, who had evidently had

her morning shower" and almost ducoed herself with some cheap perfume, heeded not. The odour was sjckly, and spread by the kind of perfume you would expect to buy at 1/8 a gallon, less' tax. An expert in eau-de-cologne once said that the way to choos'e a scent was to put a spot on the inside of one wrist, "wait till it diffused, then savour it slowly. . Apparently there is no necessity to bathe in it. Good perfumes are costly, the explanation being the rarity of ambergris. It is introduced in. the form of a tincture, made by dissolving the ambergris in pure alcohol and storing for at least twelve months. Its function is to act as a fixative for the other oils and essences. Many fortunate beachcombers have reaped in big money when strolling along the beaches to stumble over a chunk of ambergris worth lots of money. Reminds one of the discussion when several men expressed their opinion as to what was the greatest discovery. One man thought the wheel, another threw himself back a few centuries and votccl for fire, another somewhat more modern thought radio the greatest of all, two or three passed without making a bid, and then the Kst of the team mentioned ambergris. He won.

The reference in "M.A.T.'s" column to motor cyclists and the signature "Throttle" left a subtle juxtaposition of ideas in my

mind that impells me MURDERERS almost to add, "Even OF REST, throttle!" You doubtless

know that some—though not so many—homes contain a baby. It is quite true that these "hostages of fortune" go through the farce of teething. A teething babe is anything but a merry little man. Particularly to a busy mother who is intensely "house-proud"—you know the sort of latent competition that exists between newly-married couples? Well, a cross child and a fullyoccupied mother cause a strife none the less real because unspoken. When father arrives homo lie gallantly assumes his part. After a hurried and infantile-accompanied tea, pacification begins in earnest (if it were but half as earnest at Geneva, never again would war occur!). You can see father treading the soft carpet while early evening fades to dusk and deepens into night; while the lawns grow lank and weeds cover the garden in profusion. Intermittently he attempts to rid himself of his limp twenty-pound burden as the eyes of the child turn up in the sign of slumber and his heart beats high with hope that at last his mother's babe has lost all earthly cares in sleep. Softly, ah, so tenderly! does the brave man creep to the cotside. How gently is the wee mite lowered with breathless care to the cosy pillow. How—curses! With a shattering crash the comparative silence is rent as another and still another rider of naked noise careers on his sightless steed! How is it that these murderers of rest are permitted to terrorise the town? Would our Labour City | Fathers forget for a while their visionary ideals for the welfare of humanity and stoop to lesser—but far more practical—means of easing the necessary evils of a modern city? Noisy revelry can be confined to the speedway. "He that bringeth himself into needless dangers dietli the devil's martyr" is a proverb that may be called prophetic—for the greater the noise the louder the devil's chuckle.—Annoised.

THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY.

Earth's crammed with heaven, And very common bush afire with God. —Elizabeth Barrett Browning. The small courtesies sweeten life; the greater ennoble it.—Bovee.