FAR TOO GOOD?

Auckland Star, Volume LXV, Issue 126, 30 May 1934, Page 6

FAR TOO GOOD?

"I see," remarked the Progressive Citizen, "that what this country is-suffering from is Smugness, Self-satisfaction, Complacency and a general sens© that we are far better than the rest of the world, -in fact we are Much Too Good. That, at any rate, is what a Christchurch business man says. Ho is just back from America, and he is full of recipes for bringing little old New Zealand into line with the countries outside. What we want, he told them all at luncheon the other day, is more Sin, and plenty of it. We haven't enough vice, in fact we have yet to learn the science of living. America is the place; we must get more like the U.S.A. every day in every way."

"Goodness me," said the Intelligent Listener, "but haven't our preachers been telling us that we are fearfully wicked and that we'll all surely go to the Hot Place if we don't attend church regularly and stop all this Sunday tennis and pleasuring? Aren't all the good people's societies and associations busy passing resolutions against wickedness as fast as they can go?''

"Of course they are, my son," said the Progressive Citizen, "but they're all wrong. The Christchurch business man, who seems to be a very observant fellow, has been all over the world as well as America, and he must know what he is talking about. We are not wicked enough, that's the whole trouble. We are afraid to let ourselves go. How can we expect to be taken any notice of while we cantinuc to live a modest violet-like existence? Zip, pep, whoopee, the high lights of life, that's what wo must cultivate. The more like NewYork we get the more New York will come to us, that's the idea. We want capital, don't we? Well, to get it we must advertise. And what is the best form of advertisement? Ask Mr. Cunningham, of Christchurch. We are too cloistered. Let's imcloister ou.selves and make a name in the world. The Christchurch man savs a few political scandals would not do us any harm, be-causo then we might take more interest in politics than we do at present. More Sin is prescribed. The time therefore is ripe for a Grand Wickedness Revival. We could have special tent missions, with American sin evangelists to teach us how to stray from the straight and narrow way. Be more like America. Get Chicago-minded! Take correspondence courses in Political Graft on the heroic scale. Hang up the motto over your bed: 'Banditry Brings Big Business.' Try a spot of kidnapping. Why be innocent and unknown? Get into the world's news! Then, look at all the glorious resources of our country, unexploited. We have four thousand miles of coast line, and what are we doing with it? Was there ever a country more clearly designed by a beneficent Providence for smuggling? Look at all those creeks and coves and eaves, lying waste, unused. What a coast for running the goods! And look at all the vasty Pacific Ocean and the islands at our doors. Go to sea, my lads, go to sea—such a sea for piracy! Put little New Zealand on the map. Make the world sit up and admire us setting the pace. Be Big Business! Be Mixers! The naughtier we are the more people will want to mix with us."

"It all sounds very attractive," said tlie Intelligent Listener. "I'm for it if all tlje right people are. What I want to know is, what will Mr. Forbes and Mr. Coates tliink about 'it?"

"Mr. Coates," said the P.C., "mustn't be disturbed just now. He's been in retreat among the glaciers. But Mr. 1 orbes might take it on, and I feel that lie should go North, far North, and formulate a policy before the session. There's a capital place for a thinking-