DEBATE ECHOES

Auckland Star, Volume LXV, Issue 68, 21 March 1934, Page 16

DEBATE ECHOES

AN "ONLY CHILD" LETTER.

252, Queen Street, Ouehunga, Auckland. Dear Wendy.—• Joan Skinner's well and clearly written entry for the club debate has aroused my interest. I had no intention previously of entering into the discussion, but Joan's letter seems to me to bo slightly pitying and inclining towards the idea that the only child is envious of its one-of-a-family neighbour. This is not so. "Happiness," I find, means "enjoyment of pleasure;" that is, from anything giving pleasure. Joan's pleasure, it seems, comes from something more exciting than "quiet reading," and may she always be able to indulge in it, whatever it may be. But for me, I take it as a blessing of the gods, that I have my time to myself, to dig into my books and hobbies without fear of interruption from teasing, playful, and boisterous brothers and sisters. That is my pleasure and every other only child's happiness.

Thcre»is not one moment I can remember when I can say I was lonely. My one trouble has always been how to snatch little sacred moments away from my friends and their games, and the noise and chatter that accompanies them, in order to indulge in the peaceful etudy of my books and various hobbies (That selfish streak Joan mentions I have no doubt).

As to envy, it is not that which possesses 1110 when I watch the play of "the merry romping family next door"; it is pitv! How pitiful to see them tugging and pulling the clothes from one another's backs, squealing and quarrelling, and ending up in tears. How pitiful the lack of peace; how tiring the constant clamour and everlasting stampede of feet. No, I want no pity; I have no envy.

And Christmas! I could dwell for hours 011 tlie many glorious (not rowdy or exciting), but beautiful C'hristmasses 1 have had. On mother's and dad's hours of preparation in an attempt to bring mo joy on the great day. And they succeeded beyond all expectation. Surprises that involved not pounds of money, but tons of love. That held feeling and thought—not just a present because it was Christmas. What mother of a large family has time to think out such delights for every member of her brood? \es, tlie only child's Christmas is happy enough; ho is not fretfully longing to join those next door; their noise and shoutings mean nothing to him but Leadaches and boredom.

1 myself have everything I can ask for. Not money, perhaps, but that peace which 1 crave, my treasured store of books, and last, but not least by any means, my mother. I shudder to think of being "just one of a family," able to take only a small pieco of mother's heart, where now I have the whole (Ah! selfishness!).

1 hope these little interruptions will be forgiven, for they cannot be helped. They are caused, I think, by the mixed blood that lies dormant within me somewhere, either from tlie Scotch, the Welsh, the Irish, or jwrliaps it's only the good old English after all.

But, seriously, I have never yet met an only child who has been selfish. Those 1 have known have always been ready to give, willingly and unhesitatingly, as I am myself. The only child gives for the love of giving, is happier for doing so, whereas the boy or girl from a big family, tired of the everlasting compulsion to share everything they have ever had. hold qn to their sweets or belongings tightly, the minute the pressure is withdrawn, thinking perhaps, "always I have had to give my thi:.gs away. These are mine. I'm going to keep them for myself." I am not guessi.ig, but am writing what I have experienced with them myself.

As to Joan's suggestion re "Only Child's Club," I would like to say a few words concerning it.

For the only child, her home, her parents, her hobbies and a few picked friends are all she needs; her home stands for love and peace with quiet serenity to further that love, to deepen it; until she sips of a happiness that means not clatter and noise and companions to race about with, but an everlasting joy, that is an inner happiness— the happiness of contentment.

The one-of-a-family child may laugh and sing and romp all da* with her brothers and sisters and her many friends, for she mixes easily; so long as there are playmates, games, action, movement all the while, she is what she calls happy; but I wish sometimes she could taste the cream of the almost sacred happiness that settles on the quiet, serene life that belongs to the "only one." My letter is already long enough for three or lour people, so, with congratulations to the winning side, Agnes L. Winskell (age 10).