RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LXV, Issue 65, 17 March 1934, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS.

(By ZAMIEL.) Thousands of German young men are ill tho air, learning to fly. Henco the expression, "Good heavens!" No, Horace, you arc wrong, Mr. Bernard Shaw has 110 bone to pick with New Zealand. He is a vegetarian. Seagulls have attacked aeroplanes in Auckland Domain. Is'ot a single gull has been brought before the beak. Deathless lines by a local laureate:— Oli, Jtniijjitoto ! No shilling photo Can e'er lliy charms portray. During a fruitpickers' riot iu Australia. "the crowd was not. hostile to the police." Incredible tilings happen in Australia.

When the King was a boy at Eton, for a joke, lie went up and down a railway platform selling newspapers. 11a received 110 royalties. There have been high seas in the Tasman. Many have been broadcast over the air, too. Does one say "sopranos" or "soprani?" It is declared that London buildings tend to go higher and higher. It is in Fleet Street, however, that the tallest stories are to be found. Mr. A. Jewell, of Sydney, has caught the largest shark of his career—B2oll)— with a chest expansion of six feet. Mr. Jewell's shark is a gem. If you expect Mr. G. B. Shaw to be interested in the fact that beef is up a penny a pound, you mistake your man. Lentils, however, are stable. The Prince of Wales threatens to wear a cap and a double-breasted coat without a waistcoat. It will be interesting to watch Mr. Coates in the near future. Largo numbers of town clerks recently held a meeting in Wellington. Many of these oflicials are distinguished, and in every case their rating is very high indeed. So many people arc annoyed that the words "Dei Gratia"' are not to be found on the new silver coins that they are inquiring from learned sources what these words mean.

A visiting Australian woman com plains that New Zealand men wear brown coats and grey trousers. I won .lei when tlrs acrimonious chat by visitors will cloibcs ? Tho recent appointment of three King's Counsel reminds one of the ancient Hibernian story: "Hnrroo for K.C." "Pliwieh K.C." "Never moind phwieh Casey—Htirroo for him!" A naughty visitor has told New Zealanders that Danish butter is better butter than New Zealand butter. Up 4o now he is at large. He hasn't told us where in New Zealand we can buy pure Danish. Glasgow is to build a navy for the Portuguese. But the rumour that the Swiss Navy is to be constructed by a Barrow-in-Furness firm is regarded as an ebullition of jealousy oil the pairt o' the Sassenach, ye ken. Of the £-IS,SOO worth of new New ' Zealand threepenny bits, £24.000 are to come to Auckland, the remainder going to Wellington. I was hitherto unaware that there arc more churches in Wellington'than in Auckland. Mr. Forbes cc ebrated his sixty-fifth birthday this week. Admiring reference is made to the fact that "at tho nne of 24 he drew a section." This is the first indication of any artistic tendency in the Prime Minister.

These Americans are too insulting. [ This from one: "Second-rate men usually with third-rate morals and fourth-rate manners, pick the plums of politics and grow fat on them." Of course ho was writing of the U.S.A. It is declared that home building will lie resumed. The artistic features of boom-time building will be absent. The timber has been drying so long that when tbe revived carpenters hit a nail the exquisite spectacle of squirting sap will be absent, and little birds will no longer come to mourn over the boards that were their home trees but yesterday.

I met a man yesterday who was smiling happily. Ho explained his joy by saying that beef, pork, tea, clothes and other necessities had increased in price, thus enabling lrin to spend more money from his deple-fd revenue for the sake of his beloved country. He thinks wc should shoot round the corner all the quicker if the two pound loaf could be sold at a shilling. Sarcastic hound!