THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIV, Issue 160, 10 July 1933, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.) LET'S GO TALKIE. Now half I lie world's in conference And plays Uio talkie game, Suppose the rent poe.s talkie, too, >\nd si ails to tlo the same When income tax returns are due ],et father thus declare, „_•«. "The family conference linds hcrcwitu There is no cash to spare. Suppose the fnrmcr learns from some Ambassadorial cow, "■Regret no milk till nine p.m.. ( . The herd's i" conference now. Or in the current month receives \ statement terse and clear, ••The she™,'"'round table conference Kegrcts 110 wool this year. In fact the thing could soon extend To nurseries and to Kboofe -The conference o£ Unite* Km Unl«< M HiTHAWAV

."No 41322" write.: I f«Uy J ,S ~ S-ta U.C ,» fS ™l.l. £%**J£ U, c ibodoo,, P«P" » S\ h 7BriS.l. Emmmm atteX-tat the hostel that 1-had read *£ bUeon Aberdeen business people *nd but it is no joking matter to them.

Plav-roers are well aware that actors wh JL liv«"re of the greatest rectitude are APT AND often collectors of stamps NATURE, or butterfly ■ catchers. saints and clergymen are notorious for their everyday unsanitlinees One of the larges-t laughs at a recent to see him gulping cold tea poured from a wTiiskv decanter and to watch him Ugat an en,' ty y con>eob pipe. One felt that person loves the assumption of wickedness. r, occasional resounding clergyman is frequently hailed with the remark that "he's a broad-minded parson Apropos this curiosity in human nature i<. aS English artist exhibited^ the Koyal •\eademv Ilia picture, "A Man With a lint. model, Jack West, a sixty-four-year-old Yorkshire billposter, was the model for he painting, and is shown with a fine, frothing pint of beer. The inference has been that Mr West is a lad who likes his beer, but is that this victim to art has not tasted beer for twenty years. He has had to reply to an immense correspondence largely from total abstSrT refuting the diabolical inference that he is a tippler, a tosspot a "veur a booser. It appears, however that the old gent, is not really an enemy of beer. He says f,o doesn't drink it-except in Academy pictures—because it's bad for rheumatics.

The Government Building in Wellington! is to be painted. Time was when we all boasted that the Building was "the largest wooden building in the THE world," words which have ; BIG BUILDING, an almost lyrical quality. Unconscionable Americans, havhiT put the tape over our large pet, declared that they had a larger wooden building, ami the nroud boast was frustrated. But what one wanted to say about L.W.8.1.W. is that once upon a time nefarious elements were suspected of sinister designs on it—and the succeeding State protective means for its safety gave Wellino-tonians a glow of satisfaction, lne instant , Mr. Seddon heard that the great place was in jeopardy, he took steps. Next morning the were held by from the Permanent Artillery finding guards for entrances and exits, and" patrols for tne Tents and guard rooms cropped up and even newspaper men and others almost as respectable were halted at the gates and their business demanded. Once inside the .rj-eat building, usually clamant with the public achiiiT to do business with the State, there was °a cloisterous hush, and even Undersecretaries (the people who guide the country) were seen stealing about on tip-toe. Firemen fiillv dressed and "wearing hatchets paraded the corridors, and hundreds of clerical gents, stood in "Toups and whispered darkly. For some weeks this dreadful state of affairs persisted, Ti-eatly to the exhilaration of the citizens. There were even irruptions of country people into the city to gazo at the soldiers guarding the building. Then the fear died away, the soldiers faded away, and the Government built another little wing. Now it is to be painted. There is always some excitement in Wellington.

A preliminary shipment of New Zealand crayfish tails has been forwarded to London, and a cargo of crayfish tales has been unloaded locally as a result. It is CRAYFISH. curious that the gourmets of Mayfair desire only thetail of the crustacean, eschewing the body on i which our own epicures feast so gladly. Evidence that the whole contents of the crayfish armour is gladdening to the convive is frequently afforded publicly by gentlemen who have supped and dined. The empty integument—claws, tails and all—are often used by hilarious gentlemen as banners. The spectacle of a convive singing gaily and waving the shell lias often afforded sober citizens an exquisite thrill. Epicures from the sea, ashore for a few brief hours, have occasionally been seen dcutallv crushing the claws to arrive at the inner beauty of this succulent animal. Serious men at the Barrier and elsewhere have watched their lobster pots with cunning oye, determined that no one shall be without this accompaniment to ale. The crayfish has relatives of a smaller kind roaming the wayback ditches of this fortunate country. The backblocks boy simply tics a worm to a string, throws it in a ditch and pulls ii|> what he considers is a crayfish—and eats the same. The riversider in Australia lias been keen on this shelly food for "onoralions. Ho first obtains a petrol tin, perforates it, puts a dead crow (or rabbit) in the tin, together with ji stone, sinks the tin in rivor, crock or billabong, and waits till the crayfish comes in dine —and then dines himself. But the seafaring New Zealand crayfish is a different matter —he is worth eating, tail, claws and body, but you really shouldn't leave the shell on business premises, in by-ways, streets, on wharves or elsewhere to offend the non-catcrs.

A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. If there is over a time to be ambitious, it is Jiot when ambition is easy, but when it is hard. Fight ill darkness; fight when you are down; die hard, and you won't dieat all. —Henry Ward Beecher.