THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIV, Issue 102, 3 May 1933, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.) Having read a bit in the "Star" about the origin of the plirase "a cock and bull story," a Birmingham boy calls to respectfully repudiate the deCOCK AND BULL, claration that it sprang from the name of an inn. He declares that in the county of Warwickshire and generally within reasonable distance of "Brum" no lad us-ed to be considered a complete sportsman until he possessed "a cock and a bull," that is to say, a fighting rooster and a fighting bull terrier. Ho is not sure, but he hopes the general expression is traceable to this fact. Sunday in his unregenerate days (he is now a New Zcalander) was the day on which the lads gathered for the cock fight in some bosky dell far, far from the whistle of the constable, to indulge in either of the sports named. He adds that in the area thus affected by cocks and bull terriers babies were early taught to lisp the word "Bobby" in reference to tlie sports their fathers followed and the necessity of warning the audience of the approach of the law. Mother was out, so father was in cliarge. The three remaining at home sat be£or© the kitchen fire, reading. The peace of the fireside was shattered by the THE CHASE. intrusion of' a mouse. Father hissed, "Where's the cat?" John whispered, "Where's Timmy?" The third person present ascended a chair and scrcamcd slightly. This was the first time in months that feline aid was indicated. So father went to the back door and called, "Puss! Puss!" John went to the front door and shouted, "Timmy! Timmy!" Nothing of a catlike nature stirred. The men returned to the kitchen. Father armed himself with a ridinc* whip, John with the nearest broom. They" poked behind the dresser, drove the intruder into tlie open, where father (using Number Two cavalry cut) damaged the mouse slightly, enabling John with the broom to give it the coup, de grace. The remains were incinerated in the fire, and the perspiring firesiders relapsed into comparative calmness. Mother returned and retired to her sleeping apartment to take her hat off.. On her entry into the kitchen there were three versions of the adventure, all chorusing, "Yes, and we couldn't find the cat anywhere!" "No?" said mother. "He's fast asleep on my bed."

Dear M.A.T., —On our way to the city our little squad of the great Nine o'Clock Workers' Brigade has daily discussions on the present economic conditions, and 9 O'C.W.B. we endeavour to assist

each other with recipes, wlieezes and ideas by which we can make things last longer, or get them cheaper. Jock showed us how to make a safety-razor blade last indefinitely with the aid of a whisky tumbler which he had no further use for, since he cannot afford the whisky. I tried to work up a discussion on the gold standard and failed, because none of us possesses any gold, but we are unanimous in our desire that the New Zealand Railways should relinquish the "Sterling" standard, and give us nine o'clock workers the same consideration as our eight o'clock brethren. The Kailways Board takes up the attitude that it never has been done, therefore it cannot be done. We find that we can now do all sorts of things when necessity drives that we had hitherto thought impossible, and we would very much like to travel by train, but cannot afford to do so under the present regulations whereby we are heavily penalised because we do not commence our daily toil until 9 a.m. Third-class riding is better than first-class walking, but secondclass riding would be better still—at the right price.—E.J.R, ... One reads in the "Melbourne Herald" that Mildura, the famous irrigation settlement on the River Murray, is the one town in Victoria which knows not depresIRRIGATION. sion—hence this paragraph. There was a remarkable joy-making there at Easter and the town was packed. What tickled M.A.T. most was that "four hundred people drifted ihto one hotel for dinner," remembering that the American irrigationists, Messrs. Chaffey Bros., founded the famous settlement in the heart of dense desert and practically rainless country, agreeing with the Government on prohibition. In a country where the usual mid-day heat is a hundred and twenty degrees in the •water bag, it necessarily followed that people were thirsty. One remembers that thirty cases of sly-grog selling were heard at a single sitting and that a river steamer took a cargo of a quarter of a million empty J>eer bottles away in one load. , Apart from this slight damp, the whole settlement (composed generally of educated Scottish, Irish and English newcomers with money) engaged in winemaking, and a kerosene tiR full of fairly heady stuff could be purchased for five shillings (legally). Chaffey Bros, were themselves abstainers and really tried to found a prohibition settlement. Renmark, another mallee irrigation settlement, held its charter also under a prohibition agreement, and these perhaps were among the first "dry" towns, thereabouts. One merely wonders if the four hundred people who went to dinner in a Mildura hotel at Easter time were the same kind of prohibitionists who walked in Deakin Avenue ten, twenty, thirty, forty years ago. Talking about municipal elections, the Auckland City Fathers of the far future will probably have the problem of making Auckland more like Moscow, THE SQUARE, whore the. forefathers of the Muscovites had the idett (so strange to Auckland) that vast open spaces in a city centre were the proper thing for great towns. Jn the "Star" photograph of a "Red" celebration in Moscow the size of massed battalions, in comparison to the public squares they stand on is. the proportion of two mosquitoes to a ten-acre paddock. If a New Zealand city had the- open spaces of Moscow and somebody declared that open spaces, wide squares and immpnse streets should remain, municipal improvers would never rest until they had the whole space covered with buildings—the back country still remaining as nearly empty as possible. One has thfo insolence to forecast a day when either the grandchildren of the present occupants of this fair but -empty land, or the children of whatever race occupies it, will Muscovise cities by razing enough brick and mortar and concrete to give citizens a chance of moving around on gala days and 60 forth. Nearly every considerable city of Europe and other continents is old-fashioned enough to possess great open squares, the pride of the people. Of course, in the matter of Russian great cities the vast squares give the Reds, Blues or Pinks (whichever may be in power) a chance to manoeuvre machine guns when it seems necessary to wipe out a batch of cousins or an army of brothers. Talking about the great open spaces of old Moscow in comparison to the closeness of new New Zealand towns, of course Palmerston North will have a square of its own until some sainted councillor says, "Dear me, what & waste 1" A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. Work a little, think a little, Though the skies are grey; Help a little, give a little, Don't forget to pray. i Strive a little, love a little On your daily way, / And the sun will keep on shining All tile livelong day. —Heather Gwynne.