THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIII, Issue 290, 7 December 1932, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.) A sensation has been caused among the democratic denizens of the Commonwealth by a man's shirt. In fact in December weather at Canberra a man actuCOATS OFF. ally entered the portals of Federal Parliament with his coat off, thereby displaying the sleeve portion of this rude garment. The- man was. refused admission. There has been much argument about it, but the general opinion is that to peel one's coat off merely because the shade temperature is 120 degrees, is an infringement of good manners. It is recalled that forty vears-ago a man had the impertinence, the impudence, the frightf ulness to enter the Melbourne Public Library not wearing his coat, but carrying it for coolness. There was much argument about it. The present GovcrnorGeneral of the Commonwealth, then at the bar, put the question, "What would you do if the man hadn't a coat? Would you deny him a civic right because of his poverty?" It is being suggested in the present matter that absolutely coatless men are pining to listen to the drip-drip of dissertation in many Parliament* and that M.P.'s, believing in thick woollen wear for high temperatures, might increase their popularity by lending coats to the coatless. It is pointed out that if a man may be admitted into any Parliament House without a coat the precedent- might permit him to appear within the sacred chamber clothed in pyjamas, .bathing gear or hiker's shorts —which distinctly isn't done.

Dear M.A.T., —Despite statements to the contrary, Mr. Seddon was hotelkeeping on the Coast. First at the "Big Dam" and afterwards at Kumara. When THE DREAM. Mr. Seddon introduced his Old Age Pension Act for the last time it was 2 a.m. before the second reading was in sight. The whole House was tired out, and the Premier, leaving his first lieutenant in charge, adjourned to his private room for a brief respite. (A dreary member's loquacity at this late hour had succeeded in nearly emptying the Chamber.) Mr. Speaker, by request, rang the warning bell (connecting with all the ante-rooms and lobbies), indicating that a division was shortly to be taken. A messenger was dispatched to notify Mr. Seddon, who was found fast asleep. No doubt he had heard the bell, while his mind was back again in the old days, when he was proprietor of the "Miners' Arms." In response to a deferential tap on the back by the attendant, the great Pro-Consul, without opening his eyes, remarked, "Don't give that rough crowd in the parlour any more drinks on the 'nod.' And don't give them a 'new' pack of cards." Mr. Seddon awoke to find himself, not a hotel proprietor, but Premier of New Zealand, about to take a division on the' most important and humane measure that had up to that time been introduced. He fully enjoyed the joke against himself. —H.M. From Madras comes the cabled information that a white elephant has been descried in the hills and his, trumpetings heard at Travancore. The local WHITE maharajahs and the ELEPHANT. British* Eaj beseech the people not to shoot this rare mammoth, which can't be the black elephant which the late Mr. Barnum painted I white and displayed to admiring millions. Nor can it be the white elephant given in a fit of gratitude by the King of Siam to an English nobleman, who was expected to take it off the premises and who provided the dreadful spectacle of a perfectly respectable peer dragging this unwanted beast all over the world until, in a moment of generosity, some zoo authorities relieved him of the gift. Hence the modern term "white elephant" to express anything of a dud-like nature. We might reasonably obey the behests of the maharajahs and the Kaj to refrain from rifle practice in relation to bur own white elephants, although one is unable to visualise a sport-loving community opening fire on the Auckland railway station, or going further afield—say, to Otahuliu —to shoot the High School playground. A white elephant is not a species but a freak, and freaks have from time immemorial been worshipped. Thoughtful naturalists appear to believe that the smudgy specimens which cause such an uproar when discovered and handed to noblemen merely represent Nature's masterly method of animal camouflage to fit the colour scheme of the scenery. So why shoot an unoffending railway station?

Kangitoto, the magnificent eentinei of the harbour, with its unique native flora, is to become a busy scene if the alert and botanical Domain Board's recent FLOWER GARDEN, appeal is acted on. Care-

ful botanists, in exhaustive searches, have found that Nature has been using the island as a flower garden and that there are eeventy-six species of introduced plants, which must be eradicated. Campers and visitors to the island are beseeehed by the authority to assist in the scheme of eradication. The botanists who have classified the intrusive plants have been eo careful that nobody can possibly make a mistake. Supposing, for instance, a school child comes across a particularly dangerous plant which ho is bound as a future, citizen to eradicate, root, branch and seed, ho will at once say, "Ah, this is Mesembranthemum cordifolium," produce : his little grubber, and kill it and all its simple little relatives on the spot. The lover and liis las-s, indulging in the age-old pastime of the young, will suddenly break off whispering sweet nothings to aid the Domain Board in checking the onslaught of the Maurandia eophosperniuni, or to make Eupatorium glandolosum wish it had never been born. To the intending amateur botanists who might mistake tea-tree for Eecallonia californica, or Aloo saponaria, one might remark that these species are as easily recognised by the average Ponsobian as Ficua cariea or Chieranthus choiri. The ardent flower gatherer, intent on necessary destruction, may, of course, in his researches uproot a Galicus lanceolatus and carry the seed, accidentally dropping it among the Tropaeolum. The eradicator of Quereus ilex, in making a fire to burn them, might perhaps burn a native plant or so. Yes, one fancies that the Hclminthia echioides is in for a bad time. Citizen, do your simple duty!

One of the curiosities of linked overproduction and underfeeding is tliat business persons nnd others in larger lands are in many cases reviving hand indtisBACK TO HANDS, tries. One comes across such a trade announcement as "Xo mass production, ,, the intimation being that the old craftsmen who turned out articles, each one an individual job, are being succeeded in some cases, by young craftsmen and handworkers. The point seems to be that with the prodigious use of machinery the world is cluttered up with too much stuff, so that if some amiable lunatic of universal power was to insist on the scrapping of half the machinery and the use of the human hand all would be well (sez you!). It seems incredible nowadays that within living memory the whole of the harvest operations of the world were performed by man and horse and without power tools. st"am, oil or machinery. Immense areas of the most thieklr-populated parts of the world still cling refigiously to hand work on the theory that the machine renders idle many millions who are still eaters (if there is anything to eat). You could cause some magnificent riots in parts of India and China by interfering with methods introduced a few thousand years ago which are still carried on while the Western world frantically machines too much stuff. Still, if Mr. Forbes demanded that the whole of the next standing harvest in New Zealand should be reaped with sickle and scythe there would still be murmuring",.