BROTHER BILL AND EXERCISE.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIII, Issue 287, 3 December 1932, Page 3 (Supplement)

BROTHER BILL AND EXERCISE.

(By TUelnia Millctt, Orua Hay, via Onehunga.) "We of the world to-day do far too little exorcise," declared my elder brother 'bill. "It ought to be remedied." We were all suitably impressed, excepting father, who muttered something about, "Well, any of you are welcome to the Dutch hoe of a morning. I'm sure those onions—" "It is not enough," declared Bill. "The muscles of the body do uot receive sufficient exercise by those methods!" "Have you tried tliem?" this from Colin. "What," said Bill, ignoring the last remark, "we really ought to do to exercise the muscles of our body is to cycle a few miles —preferably up hill—and before breakfast every morning. Thcl., here now (indicating me) would be far better ofl" cycling each morning instead of staying in bed till 7 o'clock." "No doubt," I broke in caustically, "and Brother Bill would be better employed concentrating his energies on the vegies., instead of lying in till 7.30, and preaching at others!" And that's how it began. I discovered the reason of Bill's sudden kink fov | exercise on making his bed, where I found a. book entitled "Full o' Zip," by 0. jC. E. S. T. N. Deavor Subsequently Bill's bicycle and mine were brought out and cleaned. "Keallv," I expostulated. I felt like saying more than "really" two mornings later, when I was urirelentlessly pulled out of bed at 0 a.m. fo • the first morning's activities. Ten minutes later we were cycling, much against my will —along tlic road under a sullen sky. "Why drag me in on this?" 1 complained. "It's downright silly!" "My dear Tholma," replied my brother with a grandfatherly-know-all air, "Do you think, do you really and truly think I would be selfish enough to leave you out of this? If you, for one minute, imagine I am going to be downright sellish enough to be enjoying these wonderful morning cycling rides to health without you, yon arc vastly mistaken." "Sure, I don't mind," I grunted.

"You are far too thin!" declared Bill firmlv. "A girl of your age should be much fatter—and I, your brother, intend to remedy it!" he concluded emphatically. We cycled on silently (that is, the silence that was broken by Bill's loose mudguard), and thinking of my warm bed and thinking nasty things about brothers, bicycles, books and the hateful being called 0. N. E. S. T. N. Deavor, when "Doesn't, er, the sky doesn't look too promising, does it?" I ventured. "Always like this first thing in the morning," returned Bill gruffly. "And," said I, "I'm awfully cold— why not give your poor delicate sister your cardigan? You're fatter than me!" "My cardigan? Oh no!" said Bill. "Most unwise—most —yes, very." "Why ?"

"The book says, 'If cold, extra clothes should not he substituted, exercise must be taken instead —only more -vigorously.' " "Well?" "I know! We'll run up the hills and down them! We will only ride on the flats. You'll soon be warm now. One, two, three, up this hill now, fast remember!" We one, two, threed, all right, and arrived at the top, pufling. Bill had a rest half-way, although he reckoned his chain had caught or something. We tore down the next hill, almost colliding with a cream lorry. We arrived home in time for a hasty breakfast before work, and the end? Well, readers, I was a positive skeleton at the end of a fortnight (I lost 3 ston>.')> while Bill lost his job through always being late, and lie also lost O. E. S. T. N. Deavor, for, the very 1 first chance I got I put the book in the lire!