THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIII, Issue 276, 21 November 1932, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

It is not without historical interest that tb© Prince of "Wales has visited Irish linen factories. As everybody knows, Irish linen is the world's finest. Queen IRISH LINEN. Victoria, great - grand-

mother of the Prince, may have had something to do with the popularity of Irish linen, for it is said that the great Queen slept every night between Irish linen sheets, remarkable care being taken in the preparation of the royal bed. As everybody knows., the illustrious sovereign also exercised extreme care in the matter of edibles and drinkables, and it is interesting to recall that Her Majesty on those rare occasions when a stimulant was indicated preferred Irish whisky. Now if the Prince of Wales followed his great-grandmother's example the Irish people wouldn't mind a bit.

Whatever posterity may think of Corporal Adolf Hitler, the Nazi, he will go thundering down the corridors of history as the man who stopped the football NO GAME. match. Soccer at that! A game was to be played at Dresden between Prague and Dresden teams. Herr Hitler threatened that if the game was played lie would use forcible means for stopping it, and it was feared that if it were to take place the :iail of German beer mugs would be terrific. Hitler took his stand against this international match on the ground that as the Czecho-Slovakian Government had condemned several Bohemian Nazis the Czechs were not fit opponents for Germans. If Adolf's ruling was carried far enough there would be no argument as to which country should next stage the Olympic Games. There 'wouldn't be any Games.

The glittering contents of the Empire's garbage receptacles prove that millions of people eat tinned foods and do not die. Scientists have told us that MEAL OF MEAT, tinned meat is no worse for mankind than meat straight from the abattoir. Apparently the necessary vitamins remain in the tin. Fifty Sydneyside picnickcrs have lately become ill from eatijig picnic food, and as only a fractional proportion of one per cent of tho tens of millions who eat tinned food become ill, the question is of interest. Mentioned in a loud voice by people of experience that food imprisoned in a tin, on being opened should be at once removed—yet unthinking persons have been known to eat. meat left in the can for days and to live to eat more. There was a man who worked in the bush and who for breakfast consumed portion of tinned provender. All went well. At mid-day lie ret'inied to his camp, devoured the remainder tiiat had been left in the tin —and it was his last meal. Who knows?

A "Bulletin" scribe mentions the case of Jingling Jimmy the bullocky, who had a beast called "Brandy," which, after a long life of pull, was found TWO OX HIDES, dead. Jimmy sorrowfully used the buliock's hide for a hammock, and when Jimmy died his thoughtful friends used tho hammock for Jimmy's shroud. One thankfully accepts the story as a reminder of another hide. One day a bujich of Aussies temporarily engaged in war with Piet were informed by the High Command that Piet had rifles planted in graves all over South Africa. The liat went forth that wherever isolated graves were found they should be dug up and possible rifles retrieved. As far as can be ascertained the Australians were grave diggers for once only. They found a last, long home with the name of the supposed man roughly cut on the bottom of a biscuit box to mark the spot. With extreme reluctance the men obeyed orders, and in due course

came to a sheet of corrugated iron. Beneath the sheet of iron there was a bullock lide. Beneath the hide there were no rifles or anything more dangerous than the poor chap whose name was on the biscuit box. The subsequent refilling of that lonely grave was hardly a job they cared about.

Attracted by the perfume of bully beef in a recent paragraph, an old soldier looks, in to talk for a moment of rations. The Fernleaves were serving in THE BOOT FEAT. Egypt at the time and were breaking camp to go to some place even more damnable than the one they were leaving. The quartermaster's tent was, of course, at the end of the-line. A small Gippo with bright, beady eyes stood and gulped with longing at the stores as they were brought out of the tent. Of course, he was predatory. So would you be if you were a young Gippo. One of the lads picked up an issue boot and threw it at the boy, together with such expletives as seemed proper to him. The Gippo began to run, and a running target is ever more attractive than a still one. In short, the ftfoops seized many new issue boots and rained them after the fleeing lad. It is fair to say that not a single boot or a single tin of bully hit that flying lad, who, just : as ho was getting out of range, stopped, and, retracing his steps, with the greatest calmness picked up boots and bully beef and' hit out in the direction o:f the Sahara with lis prize. Nobody bothered, and Gippo had a profitable day. Very likely he then went somewhere else as a boot target. It is understood that even to-day Gippos are still selling "Masseys" and 1918 bully. '

If the modern boy is feeling down in the dumps about his present and his future it may cheer him a bit if someone tells him what sort of a time father LUCKY LAD! and grandfather used to

have if not born iii the purple. A distinguished man has lately mentioned that he began his working life at the age of ten in an English factory. Ho didn't say what his wages were, and it is possible they were under one shilling per week.. for twelve or fourteen hours. But he did 6ay that it was quite common for the" foremen to take the law in their own hands and to thrash these young workers for any .small dereliction. Reminds one of the "Punch" picture, no doubt intended to be amusing. The master plumber is shown with the howling apprentice. He has a length of gaspipe in his hand and is saying, "An' look'ee, lad—next time it'll be a live-eighths pipe." The supposed moral, of course, is "spare the rod and spoil the child." At that time in the British Isles the farm boy who worked the clock round was lucky to get sixpence for seiv.en' days' toil. His father within easy living memory in many parts of agricultural Britain: received ten shillings a week. There are colonial families in excellent positions whose immediate forbears brought up families on wages so small as to bo almost invisible. There is copious evidence that farm labouring families working among cows never had either'milk 1 to drink nor butter to eat and to whom meat was a luxury for holiday time—perhaps twice a year. In the West of England within living, memory the wage for adult harvest hands, specially enlisted for the season, was fourpence a day from daylight to dark. On the whole, you are lucky, my lad!

THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. Not a brick was made but some man had to think of the making of that brick. The thing we called "bite of paper with" traces of black 111k" is the purest embodiment of thought, a man can have. No wonder; it is in all ways the most active and noblest.—Carlyle. Thus humble Virtue oft may dim appear, When gaudy Fortune spreads her dazzling sheen; : But in the gloom of drear affliction's night, While all is dark around, she shines in native light. —Eev. F. Black.