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Auckland Star, Volume LXIII, Issue 263, 5 November 1932, Page 2 (Supplement)

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One-way traffic is a great institution; there is no two ways about that. Headline: "Steel Helmets Angry." This robot age when everybody is talking through his hat! Headline: "Polish taxpayers.", I was under the impression that they had already been polished —off. Two hundred thousand cotton spinners in Lancashire are idle. The figures are "enough to make anybody reel. Mentioned per cable that artificial wool, cheaper than sheep's wool, will replace the natural article. More fleecing! An American actor lias just insured his nose for 50,000 dollars.' It is, One suspects, extremely useful to hkn in the talkies. ' I do not agree with the suburban councillor who said, "Broken glass on our beaches is a menace that must be stamped out." A bold British burglar who is serving his second term for breaking and entering, is writing a book. Do two wrongs make a write? A greatly respected clergyman recently called attention to the' danger of making a joke. Why make them? Are there no scissors? The suggestion that there is much suitable land in the North Island to grow wheat is opportune. Heaven knows we want more dough. A ruby worth £7000 has been found in Burma. During the next few hundred years there will be red peril enough wherever that ruby flashes. A lady has written to a London paper to say that when she enters a room the clock stops. It is felt that she might see a professional face lifter. The Chicago man who sought a physician because he had spots before the eyes is reported to have recovered. It was only bullets before the eyes, after all. A batch of kittens was recently born within the sacred precincts of Parliament. Although no bills have been born during the session, it is hoped that there may be a few Toms. Husband and wife, both J.P.'s, recently sat on the Bench together—a precedent for "New Zealand. It is novel that in this case the lady did not have the last word. The Nawab of Pataudi will not visit this Dominion. It appears that the grass is getting away on a 10,000-acre lawn of his, and ho is anxious to get on to it with the lawn mower. The latest lady's coiffure imitates, with more or less perfection, the hair of a Greek statue. It is so expensive that, following the general idea, the husband of the lady goes stony broke. Reference has been made of the fishing ground selected by Mr. Zane Grey for his forthcoming season, including the statement that there is "a good cove for landing." Do you think it is quite respectful to call Mr. Grey a cove? In the United States there are now beauty parlours where young negresscs may have the kink taken out of their hair and where young white women may have a kink put in theirs. What dreadful mistakes Mother Nature makes. Quaint to notice tKat a New Zealand bookmaker has been sent to gaol for bookmaking, at a moment when 20,000 British bookmakers are appealing to the State to destroy the tote which is taking the bread out of their mouths. Where is this Imperial brotherhood? A correspondent, mentioning that a local magistrate (about to swear a Chinese witness) said, "I hope he does not want to cut off the head of a rooster," asks, "Why do the Chinese insist on a rooster and not a hen?" The answer is, that a rooster never lays.