THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIII, Issue 240, 10 October 1932, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TQWN.) THE BOATER. From shipping clerk and'office , boy- to, company promoter, ... , From far and near they each appear by magic in a boater! ■ The "donkey's breakfast" that of yore Our dashing, dapper daddies -wore Is now, Monsieur, "le dernier cri," Just wear it, sir, and you will 6ee. But woe to modern ehelk and gay. Self-conscious in his "load of. Bay," Should he, parading in the street, By chance his lass or sister mefet, And haUess since he was a kid. Forget, perchance, to lift his .lid! ' - . In windy Wellington, they say. The boater's "on the go" all day. ■ ■) ' ■" • ■ - " ' • But let's be up to date and smart, Let every gallant play his part, Let staid conservative and bore Leap like a flapper to the fore Of fash.ion' 3 new dictate and wear, A boater on his well-groomed hair. Let lega<l men, and doctors, too, ... . Appear this year in "something new.' And parson with a winning 'grin That plays about his saintly clrin, Enhance the beauty of his , . With a beribboned summer boater.

Herein was published recently sample sums culled from an arithmetic'examination, paper; asking dad in general if he could do the kind of mental arithmetic that THE young Bill does nowaTHREE "R'S." days with a felicitous accuracy that would surprise his grandfather. It should be; explained that on the morning after.the paragraph had appeared the examination paper "was seen-by pupils for the first time and-that when a schoolmaster distributed these papers among the young marvels the first pupil approached mentioned that he had worked out the leading question on the previous evening, having seen the same in this column'. .M.A.T., warned by a smiling dominie that "the copyright had been infringed," trembled slightly, and asked if proceedings were likely to ensue. As the smdler hinself had set the paper and awarded a copy to the scribe -whose arithmetical education has been sadly neglected, no official action will follow. It is feared, however, that several hundred young scholars in various Auckland schools thad i.he first answer ready before they had seen the paper. Not at all dreadful, as there were nineteen other questions in mental arithmetic and forty-nine 'besides that Bill and his hundreds of colleagues had the privilege of answering in writing.

It 'lias • been agreed (by people who take interest in such matters that of occupational classes gardeners and • clergymen are the longest Jived. ■ Now and OLD PETERS. then judges and lawyers claim to be in the running, and the lawyers' claim has lately-been strengthened by the ninetieth ibirthday of Joseph Sabelberg, barrister, of Melbourne, who is still practising. Mr. Sabelberg declares he is very fit and that he will still work until, he dies. Reminds one of an English West Country lawyer who never had an .ache or pain and who in his 'eighties, stepping out of bed to dress and to go to his office, quietly passed out. He had been articled as a youth to a Cornish lawyer named Peter®. He spent all: his, working life further north. It occurred to-him a few years before his death to take a trip, to the old home. Walking down tha street of his native town he came across the old office with the old name flip. It hadn't altered a bit, except that a note "Back. in.Mve Minutes" stuck on the door in 1857 had disappeared. The old lawyer dodged in to See who had succeeded his employer. Nobody had succeeded him. Old Peters eat in the same old chair, peering without spectacles at an old document. Old Peters looked up. "Good morning! "■» he said, giving his old pupil his right-name; "take a chair, I won't be a moment." He was then, a hundred and three years old. One forgets if he lived to be very,. very. old. t

Sidey-real time seems to have been locally inaugurated with a minimum of friction.- Even the slight dislocation of the' morning ferry

service Was' traced to the SUMMER TIME. Monterey and not'to Sir Thomas, -and- the" entire community with its celebrated meekness accepted the inevitable with thankfulness that ■summer time is not yet taxed. Curious how we get Into the habit -of really feeling that it is really official.- Indeed, it is common enough for scribblers, noting the official.changeover, to tell lis we are getting "an extra halfhour of daylight," when, as &■ matter of fact, the sain behaves just as if Sir Thomas had never done a thing. If officials really could juggle with the elenTents, there is no reason why the Department of Internal Affairs .or the Marine Department shouldn't arrange new tides, for they are often most inconvenient for scows and not at all suitable for every .picnic. One notes with surprise that, as usual, > the ordinary cow, the ordinary rooster,-and other domestic animals, are appallingly, ignorant-of the arrangements made by all-wise Governments to afford them more daylight.' They moo and roll up to be milked, •or crow, lay eggs and what not, all out of time, and hoi at all according to plan. Sidey-real time, however, has the yearly use of causing arguments as to its utility or futility, but in a day or two all of us—'barring the. lark and those kind of senseless greeters ef the morn—earxv on in the new groove, and Sir Thomas is pleased, j

Because you have known Bill Smith-for forty years it hurts and astounds you to find that reference to Bill Smith in company arouses no enthusiasm, THE SEARCH, and that Bill- is relatively ■unknown. There is the story of the backblocks. man who brought a, sack of swedes down,to the flag station. It no name, and no destination was marked on it. An official -mentioned the matter. "Oh, that's all right!" said the unnamed consignee. "It's for Harry. Harry's me brother—he'll be on the platform at Kaurika-uri—you'll know him by his red hair and dungaree pants," and heaved the bag in the. guard's van. In like manner the suburbanite had, known his neighbour Jim for years and. years. Jim moved away to another district—mentioned that it was a house on the corner of a street, with long grass where the lawn used to be, and opposite a bungalow whete a man with a black- beard and a spotted tie lived—nvith other equally illuminating directions. On Sunday, therefore, the suburbanite mentioned to his wife that they might take a stroll out to see Jim. The wife agreed, first asking if 'her lord had ascertained the exact situation of the house. "Oh, no!" said the -man airily. "But I've known Jim for ten years, and the house is on the corner of a street and'-lias grass in the front, a' couple of chimneys, and several windows," and. other information of the same kind. In reality'the -house of their old friend was a mile and a half away, but having walked five or six miles-ajid-then "ime back 011 their, tracks, it occurred to the suburbanite to make inquiries of milkmen and uc-.er ■skilled searchers. Thus about dark- tlie searchers came upon Jim's-house < and breathed a sigh of relief. Yes, Mr. Jim lived there all right and he'd be back for certain in a fortnight. .

THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. : ' And see the, rivers how they run ' Through woods and meads in shAde and sun, Sometimes swift, slow— Wave succeeding wave, they go A various journey to the deep, ' ' Like human life, to endless sleep! ■. . —John Dyer?; If we were always to wait for the most favourable combination of circumstances no enterprise would be undertaken.—Napoleon,..