THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIII, Issue 124, 27 May 1932, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.) THRIFT. Dear M.A.T.,—In these days of "cuts" and rigid economy I feel you would be the last to take advantage of a fiscal system in the melting pot, otherwise I would not take you into my confidence; in any case, it is not long until June 1. Now that "cuts" are in fashion, I feel This neat little scheme should appeal — Write your letters in May, Tost in June (when you pay). And save fifty per cent on the deal. It was breakfast time in the suburban bungalow and the hope of the home, aged years, wae doing his best with tongue, " knife and fork. Hi s PA'S PUSHCART, father, listening with illdisguised impatience to the youthful solo, suddenly cut in and mildly reprehended the little lad for his oratory. And the modern child said: "All right, dad, don t get out of your pram; I'll pick up your dummy!" In short, "the child is father of the man."

"M.A.T.'s" use of the term "horny hand" reminds a colleague of a story of J. McT. E McTaggart (reviewed recently in the "Star"), the Cambridge THE FENCERS, philosopher who walked sideways like a crab, loved New Zealand, acquired an international reputation, and made jokes. Someone mentioned in his hearing the not uncommon objection raised against Labour leaders of the black-coated brigade, that they have not worked with their hands, and therefore are not fit representatives of the proletariat. A particular Labour leader was being discussed. "Why," said McTaggart, "his hands are positively horny with pulling wires!"

It has been communicated from Home that the chit system is a failure. Ladies and gentlemen, it is shown, on a round of bar crashing, had a few drinks costing THE "CHIT." thirty odd pounds, intending to sign a chit for the amount. The chit system is well known and universally honoured by brown, black and yellow people in the East if not in London. For instance, ships' officers visiting treaty ports in the teeming East frequently have glad days and murky "nights out," going ashore at any place without money, be it at Singapore or Sourabaya. The white man is so trusted that these visitors will give a. signed chit to a man they have never seen before and who has not seen them, whether it is for jinricksha rides, hotel dinners or theatre passes. The obsequious dun-coloured merchant accepts the paper without a murmur and bows the honourable white man out. Next day the chits were presented at the white man's ship and duly paid. No one ever thinks of clearing off without paying, mainly because he may have to go back to that port, and the memory of the Eastern man is uncanny. The Dutchman in the East has even more privileges than the Briton. He could live on chits in Java for a year without a single moan from the dark creditor.

Excavators the wide world over are unable to account for the propinquity of unrelated objects. Professional ghouls who go kingdigging in Egypt find TOUCHING TALE, their majesties accompanied by extraneous objects having nothing whatever to do with the occupation of kings. Modernly navvies have just dug up a bit of Collins Street, in Melbourne. Ten feet down they have come across the panel of a post-and-rail fence, the skeleton of two cows, a pint beer pewter and a shilling of 1835. Not at all interesting unless you can explain why these objects were found in the one spot. May one reconstruct this scene of the early days? As the skeleton of the milker was not found, it is obvious that the two cows had wandered up to the fence, and, seeing the pint beer mug, had patiently waited for their human friend to return. Day after day they waited until, unable to bear the hunger any longer, they had nobly perished at their post. This does not, of course, account for the shilling that was found. It is possible that this was the last shilling the milker possessed, that it slipped through a hole in his trouser pocket, fell to the ground, and was afterwards trodden in by one of the cows deceased. Heart-broken at the loss of money that would have obtained him four pints of beer to replenish the' mug, the poor milker had wandered into the bush, got lost, and perished while the faithful herd waited even unto death.

Nello Scanlan calls to us from London, beseeching us to keep a stiff upper lip and not to cry stinking fish, saying, inter alia, that other folk have their CHEERIO! bothers and do not howl so loudly. And it really is curious that the people of Britain, who are presumably in the soup as deeply as ourselves, do not communicate their miseries per letter. In a copious supply of letters from the "Old Dart" not one of M.A.T.'s correspondents ever refers to miseries, presuming, one supposes, that we have our own troubles and it is not quite the thing to pour larger ones into willing ears. Still, you know, now and again a moan comes from Home. There is a literary.sob of sorrow from London at the poverty of the heirs and assigns of deceased millionaires, Mr. Bull having gathered up over eighty-throe million pounds in inheritance tax in a single year. This leaves the assigns of multi-million-aires with fewer millions to go on, and we colonial people are expected to drench the teatree in tears on their behalf. There is no news from Home intimating the sorrows of the masses at the stream of taxpayers who are ascending the stairs to the top flat of the Auckland Central Post Office. It will cheer the locally stung to read that John Bull contemplates bleeding the more or less uncomplaining Briton for another one hundred million pounds this year. Are we downhearted? Decidedly not!

Mr. W. Jenkins, of Te Papa pa, mentioned to a "Star" man the devilish methods of the Australian dingoes, which have a habit of mustering sheep and sending the THE HOWLERS, clevere'st devil to snatch

them one at a time, quietly, systematically, efficiently. People interested in sheep may like to know that these silent workers do not, except when hungry, eat the sheep. They kill a sheep, tear his flank open and eat the kidneys, seeing that there are more eheep than dingoes and plenty of kidneys to go round. Not usually known, either, that a civilised dog going back to the wild is a more formidable enemy than the dingo, that as soon as he "goes back" he leaves his bark behind and becomes the same kind of howling cur as the dogs he lives with. Presumably there have been few ca<ses of dingoes attacking and killing men, but there is the undoubted case of a mob of dingoes surrounding a man in rough country between Hill End and Orange, New South Wales, and settling him. The presumable reason for the dog victory was that the man was weak and hungry, and was unable to adequately defend himself. The leader of the pack was a halfbred collie. Wild dogs have been known when caught in a trap to chew the imprisoned leg off and to escape. Sheep men occasionally institute most popular dingo drives, but the dingo is so cunning that you might often rake a ten-thousand-acre paddock with a smalltoothed comb and never find a dog, only to go home and listen to the midnight howls of the escapees.