THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIII, Issue 97, 26 April 1932, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWW.)

Here at least is a genuine one, not the product of the midnight oil or tho brains ot a o-ifted litterateur. "What," asked the school- ° master, gazing expecy THE antly at the faces of his CHARLESTON, young charges, "is a charlatan?" There was i momentary silence, then a bright boy piped up: "It's a dance, sir!" G.0.C., in your column on Thursday under the heading of "The Pack," refers to the people who call themselves "hikers.'' G.O.L. is probably not aware "HIKE." that there is a general and growing dislike anion«st the fraternity to the use of the word "hike." At conlerences held in England representative of thousands of trampers and tampers the word has been vigorously condemned, and editors and writers in books and periodicals dealing with out-of-door pursuits Save expressed their dislike of (.he word. In < me at least of the leading Auckland clubs the \ fiord has always been strictly banned from ilia magazine, and members themselves deprecilte reference in the Press and elsewhere to thair activities as "hiking." Sporting goods dcialers and others not actively connected with (lie pastime use'tlie word, but the genuiii'' trrranper generally will have none of it. — Kuicsac. It is commonly said that to the younger generation Gallipoii and Anzac is a memory, a page of history, comparable in the young mind with WaterSECOND PLACE, ioo, Hastings, Malplaquet. It is equally commonly said that the young ones should not be alloxhed to forget. The necessity of keeping Anziic in memory reminds one of a number of v iwing people all of whom hope in time to be h sading educationists. The subject of the moment was Gallipoii. and these young people were to write an essay on that great subject. One of these young geniuses memorised the incon cparable prose masterpiece on Gallipoii by Jo tin Masefield, the present Poet Laureate, wrote it, and put it in. This young genius was : mrprised to find that his remarkable effort gained second place. Those of us who have iwad Masefield are wondering to whom the ex;nniners awarded first place and if literature is- a compulsory subject for examiners.

Reference herein to the disposition in public pilaces of the discarded remnants of crayfish 'has been followed by a crayfish incident in which a tram load THE Pi ISSENGER. of people shared. The owner of the crustacean had laid his naked prize on a seat beside him and gaz<jd lovingly at it from time to time. He had -plenty of room, for few train passengers ( tire to dispute territory with a crayfish? He spoke to the crayfish from time to time, saying, "There you are, old chap!" and smoothed the pink forehead of his little friend. The condi K'tor, scenting trouble (and the crayfish), moved along and interviewed the owner. "You ougM not to carry that crayfish in the tram." he* said. "But he's a passenger, retorted tlbie gentleman. "I bought a ticket for him," displaying the same. "Still," he continued, "if my little friend is not good on ouch for you, we'll get out." And at the next stop 110 th took the fresh air they needed so badlv.

Reverting? to the complaints of nonagenarians auid other scholars that the New Zealand child!. cannot spell properly, one seizes with joy a paragraph A LITTLE r.PELL. from a 'fellow inker in London who has received a, letter front a great politician who writes "beleive" and "recieve." Lord Hailsliam, Secretary of State: lor War made two mistakes in writing the Iti'ick sentence about "an embarrassed peditar meeting a harassed cobbler in a cemetery'." All the other intellectual swells who tn rd it made three or more mistakes. Lord jßeavcrbrook spells "disappointment" with tv.ro s'e. A great journalist recently referred to a certain song as "Made of Athens." Sir fuisten Chamberlain is one of the worst spell rrs among the cognoscenti, so perhaps if littlic Bob Fernleaf. of the fifth standard, spells cow with a "k" sometimes, the nonagenaria on will excuse him.

A polite reference to crayfish has induced an exiled Australian to call in order that he might ingntion tlttfi freshwater cray known to thousands of piscators THE DINNER on the rivers Murray, BELL. Darling, Murrumbidgee and other opulent streams. "Budguree" says that the chief necessity of the crayfisher is something indubitably dead, a perforated kerosene tin, a bit of string, or wire, a river and patience. The iishcr inserts Jiis aromatic crow, rabbit, 'possum or snake iiL the perforated tin, puts a stone in it to sink It, hitches it to the bank and waits. The cheerful crayfish comes with his family to the meal, the fisher pulls up the tin, the water drains out and the crayfish banquet is in sight. The crayfisher's brother, the cod hunter, accoTiling to "Budgeree," baits a hook with a live frog, throws it into the river, hangs a jam tin with a stone suspended inside, the shore crul of the line tied to a stick, and goes to sleep until the jam tin bell rings, when ho awakes, unhooks the fish, has dinner and goes 'to sleep again. A river cod of, say, 1001b Will rihg the jam tin violently. Of course, there is a catch in cod fishing, most of the f ra>gs being eaten oil' the hooks by river turtles* "Whalers" who sleep the long summer hours away waiting for the jam tin bell to ring,, during their waking hours swap cod for otlker sustenance at riverside stations.

An exile from Dun edin tells the story ot the cable tram that 111 c-s heavenwards as far as Kaikorai. Ho mentii.ias that at rush hours it ib' exceedingly crowded, GOOD the 'passengers balancing SAMARITAN. themselves 011 every point of disadvantage and frequently not falling off. On an occasion a gentleman of hilarious tendencies hung perilously from a strap, surging against a clergyman'who was suspended (Ibut not perilously) from an adjacent object. The hilarious mail had a string kit 111 which reposed four corked vessels known to the un regenerate as "riggers." The owner himself exuded the fragrance suggested by the l'iggem. Observing his perilous poise, the clergyman very courteously offered to hold the imprison ed beer, and cheerfully took the kit. Unaccountably, the owner of the kit, who was standing in the rear 0/ the good Samaritan, appea c<;d to have forgotten his ale, for at one of the stops lie left the car, the clergyman holding to a strap with one hand and hugging the comforts with the other, not knowing the own cr had left. It naturally followed that at tjie point of delimitation the good sainaritaa found himself embarrassed with goods he had no use for. Heendeavoured to award the find, to whomsoever might desire to seek the owever, but in that atmosphere of sobriety his gt tod oflices were rejected. It would hardly do for a clergyman to alight, pour the hated fluid into the gutter and leave a rank of "marines?" 011 the sidewalk, so, of course, he left the. kit, on whi.-h two dozen pairs of amused ey.p.s were glued, with the tram authorities. The frightful agonies of the unstable purchaser when he discovered his shocking loss ari> only to be imagined. WHO TOLD YOU THAT? No, children, it was not Nlipoleon who said New Zealand was a nation oif shoplifters.