THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIII, Issue 56, 7 March 1932, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.) EGGZACTLY SO. The Hon. C. E. Macmillan, in addressing poultry-keepers, is reported to have stated his ability to determine the sex of the chicken within the egg. To signalise my elevation to the Cabinet, I intend to rend the veil from the fowl-run bassinet, For there's nothing so confusing or so liable to vex As this frightful indecision in the case of eggy sex. To all our eager poultrymen I now desire to say That the vagaries of sex in eggs is fully swept away. For by just a glance to leeward and a glance to port as well, I can easily determine what is hidden by the shell! Of course all my experiments have happened on the "Coast"— But the formula is universal —that's no idle boast! You let the egg just nestle in the palm—it may sound silly— But the one which coyly blushes is most certainly a filly 1 —SPARWOOD. Dear M.A.T., —Your report anent the poet who has spent seven years searching for a word will stir pangs of sympathy within all fellow scribes who have REPTILIAN been up against similar RHYME, word problems. Seven years must be a record quest. Let's see if we can put an end to it for the poor fellow: Now it doesn't need a wizard To unearth a rhyme for "echo," For a certain kind of lizard Is obligingly called "gecko." —P.H.S. Dear M.A.T., —There is an encrusted story about certain students at a university which shall be nameless. It is reported that these bright young men conREAL "HUMBUG." strutted, an entirely new species of insect by the simple process of catching and killing several flying beetles, dissecting them, and reassembling one complete beetle out of the parts of many. They then offered this to the reigning professor of biology for his opinion. It was well known that the professor was as blind as a bat, but on this occasion he was not eo blind as usual. After surveying the specimen under the microscope, he announced ae follows: "Gentlemen, this is most interesting—this is undoubtedly a bug, yes, most certainly a bug; genus Hum." History does not relate just exactly how flat the joke fell.—L.C.A.

All the joys of the open road have been enjoyed by an Aucklander who has just returned to his daily toil after three weeks' holiday. Setting forth THE OPEN ROAD, with a knapsack on his back he tramped first as far as the railway station, taking the train to Helensville, and the boat thence to Dargaville. Then he headed northwards, and did actually get in a good solid week's tramping, although, ae he expressed it to a friend, it was the hardest thing in the world to avoid friendly "lifts" in cars and lorries. The hospitality of the good folk of the Northland amazed him, a<3 did the beauty of the unexplored forest wilds and the great sea beaches. The sight of a gentleman tramp was evidently surprising to many of the country residents, who repeatedly asked him what he had to sell, while on more than one occasion he was asked if he wanted a job. Fancy that in Auckland!

The Grand National Steeplechase, the hardest race in the world, looms up once again, and on Friday week Aintreo will doubtless provide the usual crop of SPORT OF KINGS, sensational happenings. In the old days it was customary to read that "Lord So-and-so is reputed to have won a very large stake over such and such," or words to that effect, and the ancient history of the turf teems with instances of successful coups and unsuccessful plunges. Matters are more democratised nowadays, when humble civilians can literally win a fortune in an overseas sweepstake without ever seeing a horse or taking a pick out of a list of runners. Mention of successful coups recalls that of The Grafter, an Australian importation that won the City and Suburban at fantastic odds in the early years of the present century. It was somewhat of a coincidence that The Grafter beat a well-backed horse named Innocence. Robert Standisli Sievier won a very large stake over The Grafter, and played it all up, to win nearly a quarter of a million. Later on, when he wae temporarily "broke," he was reproached by a friend for his rashness and extravagance. "If I had made a fortune like you did," said the friend, "I'd have taken good care not to have lost it." Sievier smiled. "You'd never have made it," he said.

Reference to famous horses, from Pegasus to Phar Lap, reminds a correspondent that doubt liae been cast on the story of Dick Turpin and his ride to BLACK BESS. York. It is an established fact that such a ride was made, but the majority of historians agree that the feat was not performed by Turpin— "that ruffianly fellow," as he was described by a contemporary gentleman of the road. The full, and probably accurate, story of the episode is told in a book entitled "Roade and Vagabonds," published a couple of years ago in London. The author produces eound evidence to show that the ride was made by one Nicholson, known as "Gentleman Nick," who appears to have been a far better type of tobymnj.l than Turpin. Nick had held up a coach and robbed its occupants somewhere in Kent. He made a good "getaway," but realised that he had been recognised, and knew that a warrant for his arrest would be issued. Therefore he carried the war into the enemy's country by a bold counterstroke that certainly compels admiration alike for its cleverness and for the endurance displayed by horse and rider in putting it through. After the robbery, Nicholson rode at headlong speed for Graves'end, where he stabled his exhausted steed, crossed the Thames, and proceeded to put his big plan into operation. He made hie way to the place where his favourite mare was stabled, ensured that she was well fed and watered, and then, after a brief rest, set out for the North. Ho dared not travel on the turnpike, but cantered easily along by less frequented roads, as far as Huntingdon, where he baited the mare, refreshed himself, and then took boldly to the Great North Road, going "hell for leather" to York. (By the way, the jumping of the turnpike gate is not definitely authenticated, though it may have occurred.) Reaching York in the early evening, he made his way to the house of a friendly landlord, where he. bathed, attired himself in new and fashionable clothes, and sauntered forth to join the company of lords and ladies who were airing themselves on the castle bowling green at a function given by My Lord Mayor. Nicholson, a young fellow of aristocratic bearing and charming manner, got himself introduced to the Mayor, who was so impressed with him that he insisted on entertaining him. Next day, when the warrant for Nick's arrest had been circulated, the highwayman indignantly denied any connection in the robbery, and called the Mayor to prove that he was on the bowling green less than twelve hours after the hold-up had been committed. Of course he was acquitted. How could anyone have travelled that long distance in so short a space of time?

ANOTHER BRIDGE NOTE. Piggnig tlie garden of old man Jones We came upon some human bones. We were puzzled at first, till someone said: "Poor thing, and she hasn't long been dead. 'Twas a cousin of his, as I understand. Who revoked three times in a single hand."