THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXII, Issue 259, 2 November 1931, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.) RHYTHMIC NEWS. ... Thfi Socialists in England got a bit of a surprise, And Premier -Ramsay still looks good to beahani The P Gernians'have commenced to build another And Bridge promoters have advanced The Auckland Volunteers are ■still increasing day Our M-icketing enthusiasts have started, summer I sec %at things got breezy when a borough council met. .^.j The trouble in Manchuria has not been settiea The "Parliamentary session will be ended pretty We welcomed all our cricket reps, on Monday sharp at noan. . . • .._ The horses out at Ellerslie are sprinting pretty The Signal Station soon will be a-memory of the The London crowds cheered royalty and made the With" one "united loyal shout, "Hurrah, God save the King!" -—J.fcr.JS. It has been unnecessary in a home one wots of for young father to possess an alarm clock. Baby, aged two yeare, has up -to/ a, recent day insisted with THE extraordinary regularity FALSE ALARM, in waking each morning at five-thirty, -or at the latest fifteen minutes thereafter, roaring for sustenance. One regrets to report that the mathematical infant hae gone 'back on poor dad. Dad was bound to be aboard a boat that would tie up at six-thirty, and went to bed feeling that his little chanticleer would crow in time to enable him to do so. On this ocear eion only, however, the wee one blissfully slept till seven-thirty, rendering it necessary for a hitherto trusting parent to make a loud outcry for a taxi and to break all recorde in reaching the boat.

We ought to give three hearty cheers for Michael Faraday, the scientific experimenter whose centenary was recently celebrated ; If \ it hadn't been for-lara- ■ COLD MEAT. day we should have had to wait for .-Omebody else to lay the foundations of • the meat freezing business and thedivs. you get, my lad, might be fewer. Thomas' Mort, the Lancashire!,-Australia-n \ylio founded the frozen meat trade to which we'owe 60 much,, based his invention of refrigerating machinery on the knowledge of Faraday's discoveries. And if there hadn't been any newspapers Mort wouldn't have done it. He read a bit about the bullock that was found in a perfect state of preservation in the ice of Siberia. One day. Mr.-Mort was sitting at "the table decapitating his breakfast egg when he suddenly jumped up, knocking, over the egg; and yelled, 'I've got it. I've, solved the-problem of the world's food • supply" 5 It took him sixteen' years, though, to perfect the machinery that resulted. , ,in; the first consignment of meat being sent from Australia to England. . ."'.-■...■ ' .•

A local 'busmfess man, like, many other local busine?e nien, lias become habituated to the waller who a&sumcs a look of acute suffering, tells ay talc of woe, THE PARADE.* and at last exclaims in a humble voice, "I suppose you couldn't give a pore 'bloke a shilling, sir?" But the local business man was unprepared for the , two bright lads, wliOj having obtained admission to his office, sprang to attention smartly side by side, and saluted in the best manner that can be achieved without headgear. The L.B.M. reviewed the troops, with-' out enthusiasm and said, "Well, what'is it?" The gentleman on the right flank told his tale in staccato periods with a sort of vocal ttiarktime effect, a-nd the L.8.M., listening without enthusiasm, made motions of "Get Outl" The troops, however, still remained on parade and persisted in an endeavour to extract a "coupler bob." Weakly the business man at length yielded, and,'' handing up the florin again, exclaimed sharply, "Now get out!" The troops then, squaring .their shoulders; holding the left fingers in . line with the eeam of the trousers, and lifting their chins, smartly saluted, half left turned, and together stepped off with the left" foot. At the door the army halted. The left flank man about-turned, matched smartly to the business man, halted, saluted, "and said: "You're a sport, boss, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll toss you double or quits." "., : ■ ■

The time may yet arrive when - women will again scorn the manly vices.. It is difficult to imagine, for instance, a woman in prunella ehoes, 'white cotton stockTHE MALE NOTE, ings and -a crinoline.

. smoking a cigarette in public, although at the moment Jpriscilla, ie trifling with an imitation of pur howler hats. The thought has obtruded as a-result-of the return of those admirable cricketers of ours. Note, if you please, that a large number of three young gentlemen sitting for their mass photograph ea-eh ha.s a pipe in his mouth or in his hand. It appears to express their masculinity. None has a cigarette either iii his fingens or hanging from his lip, fto that not one of them could be' mistaken for his own lister. On the other hand, no lady of or.e's acquaintance (outside, the kainga or tlio backblock cabins of one's relatives in ould Ireland) ever smokes a pipe as a sign of partial masculinity, and there is a distinct hopo that in the not very distant future it will be possible at a mere glance to tell Bill from Betty and Betty from Bill. For the past ten years the more or less eminent writers of fiction have insisted as a necessity for the heroine that she shall toe boyishly slim or slimly boyish. One notes that Martha, however, is'wearying of being boyish and that the pump-water Style is giving place to the' gracious curves granny wore. If one notes in the near future ladies' hockey , teams imitating the pipe dreams of our returned cricketers one will conclude that -the manly habit for girls is reviving.

A bunch of bees swarmed in the vicinity of a local church on Sunday, intimating that these workers are rot SablMitafians. It has ..' been stated that they BUSY BEES. caused some annoyance to ■ , *" people, but one is able to say from a knowledge of human nature that ■the annoyance was diluted by keen interest. There is nothing like 'something natural in the wrong place to draw a crowd. For instance, when ■ a large bunch of 'bees flocked to the groat big totara telegraph pect that used to rear it* unblushing front 'before the Shortland Street post office, people flocked from far and near to witness the spectacle just as if it wa» a newly-hatched chicken in an ironmonger's window, a dog fight in Grey Avenue, or a cat crossing the tram rails. When a perfectly calm man climbed that old totara and reaped the bees the interest was almost painful. Then there was a bunch of 'bees that swarmed in front of a suburban post office, a symbol, one takes it, of the busy bees within who are still busier, 'by the way, during the reaping of extra-isiiper-taxes. During the whole day people who were supposed to be working gazed at the 'bees until they got cricks in their necks. Another natural phenomenon was observed in Queen Street on one of the numerous occasions when stalwart men were digging up the pavement. One man disclosed a "rat's nest fully occupied by pa, nia and the young rodente. A girl doing her back hair in a draper's window could not have attracted a more delighted audience than these doomed rats did.

THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. Success lies not in achieving what you aim at, but in aiming at what you ought to achieve.—E. F. Hqrton. Wealth gotten 'by vanity ehall.'be diminished; but he that gathoreth by labour shall increase.—Proverbs.