THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXI, Issue 186, 8 August 1930, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.) THE BACKERS. What New Zealand wants is a stable Government.- —Mr. Harris, M.P. I say what Mr. Harris says, He is distinctly fine ; We want a stable Government If it be only mine I 4. stable Government will be Exalted, perfect, grand, And every colt in every stall Will eat out of the hand. I'd love a stable Government; In the best stall of course I'd like to be well bedded do-sui, A favourite little horse. Into that sumptuous stable, too. The sun would shine all daj, And stable men with pitchforks, long Could go on making hay. There'd be such lots and lots of stalls, But none could ever stand A single horse that did not bear The only honest brand. All rival stables run 'em crook (The jockey pulls the prad), All other stables but my own Are very, very bad. yes, other stables do indeed Give you a crooked spin. Oh. purify the greatest game And let my horses win ! Deauville, the fashionable Continental gathering ground, where the haute monde of Britain and elsewhere go to express the nude idea, is, one notes, becomTHE NUDE IDEA, ing rather prudish now that dresses have gone down. At Ascot you may have read that dresses almost swept the mud and the extraordinary scene was witnessed of duchesses picking up their long skirts to the knee anc. skimming across the grass to get in out ot the rain. At Deauville, where so many of the elite (who are seen at Ascot) go to get over the races, the Mayor has issued a proclamation that bathing suits with straps are now obligatory. His Worship has also decreed that one may not (whatever one's rank) undress 011 the beach. It is also not peimitted for anyone to promenade the beach merely in a bathing suit, but one must cover the togs with a peignoir, 'fhe peignoir must not be worn cape' fashion with the tails flying in the breeze. These innovations in a place which was notably rather free are hitting the ladies hard. Many of them will possibly stay at home, consoling themselves by wearing just ordinary evening frocks at dinner —and after.

There is an unassuaged demand this day from people who hope to own radio sets, for companies interested in the same to demonstrate in their homes. DEMONSTRATION. Innumerable homes are available to broadcasters for the reception of Test football news on Saturday. This undoubted charity in householders is allied to that of the American lady, who, during a splendid advertising campaign, received many booklets desiring that she would permit demonstrations of the advertisers' wares. One morning the maid entered, the presence of her mistress and mentioned that a queue of twenty-five gentlemen was outside the front gate. 'Many of them had lorries, some had motor cars, and others mobikes. "They've all got patent house cleaners," she said. "Let one man into each room," the mistress commanded, "and get them to demonstrate. Spring is here!" Rather revives memory of the local house and land boom, when agents were keen on the scent. Potential customers were often keener. Whole families did innumerable holiday trips ill agents' cars, frequently accepted lunch, afternoon tea and what not, and were no more heard of except by other agents. One gentleman who had travelled every street in Auckland and every road in the district free gratis and for nothing admitted before he went back to, his gigantic holding in the South that he'd j had the time of his life —mostly buckehee. He hadn't bought anything.

Dear M.A.T., —I heard you prophesy some time ago that increased Customs tariff would mean increased profit to the retailer; you knew that the wily .shop - GOOD BIZ ! keeper would not be slow

to seize on the obvious excuse for raising his prices. You should not be without honour even in your own country, for you were (lead right. Hear how I've been stung! You know my particular brand of tobacco, product of the Transvaal, lias always been two-and-six for a four-ounce sack. Well. Wednesday afternoon I ran short, and, my usual source of supply being closed, I went to tlie place across the street, got my sack, and planked down my half-dollar. "Oh, no," quoth the young lady behind the counter, "three shillings, please. The duty on this tobacco has gone up." I yelped, "Three shillings!" Of course I paid. Yesterday, however, I visited my usual retailer. He had not raised the price. Straightway I smelled dirty work at the crossroads, put my nose to the trail and was off 011 a hot scent to the Customs House. An obliging officer consulted the book of words and informed me that the increase in duty on my particular brand of tobacco amounted to a tiny fraction less than one halfpenny per pound. The increase in price had been two shillings per pound! Can you beat that? —The Unspeakable Scot.

V.C.'s, leaders of forlorn hopes, folks who carry on when the heart is breaking, mothers of large families and small means—all heroes and heroines will be glad TAR HEROES, to hear from Mrs. M. 6. , Adams, lecturer on biological subjects at Cambridge. Heroism, she says, is merely adrenalin." Adrenal is the active principle of a gland. If the gland isn't working when you'd like to be a hero reach for your adrenalin needle and introduce some. If the enemy isn't adrenalised—woe to him! Mrs. Adams mentions that when a cat arches its back and spits fire at a dog the cat is calling up her adrenical resources. Presumably the dog adrenalises himself when he ruffs his neck, shows his teeth and wurrs at poor pussy. Recent movements of prices upwards in the Dominion proves the presence of natural adrenalin in people who pay a two and a half per cent rise in taxes and pass on twelve and a half (we will say) to the customer, who, it seems, is insufficiently adrenalised and therefore has no heroism. To show how chemical we are, the lady lecturer says that adrenalin can be made in the laboratory by the distillation of coal" tar. By inference, therefore, a V.C., owes his cross to internallyproduced coal tar. If we could corner the coal tar supply we should also corner the world's supply of heroism. _ In the next Great War the duty of the High Command is obvious. Every man will get the needle. Coal miners are notoriously heroic. It's the coal tar!

ilu? father of a family poured out his soul to M.A.T. and has doubtless duplicated the confidence to other sufferers. He bought mrrnvcv ? record aud took it MICKEY home to the children. It THE MOUSE, was Mickey the Mouse, . ~ , . of lilting melodies, haunting refrains, captivating cadenzas. "We put it on. The children put it on again—sixteen times. It haunted our dreams when at last the last sweet note ended. I went to bed. In the morning, long, long before the sun rose, tlicroalso arose the lilting melodies of Mickey the Mouse. I slid out in my pyjamas, to find, tne family also m pyjamas listening to that masterpiece. I had a horrid thought—-I wished the masterpiece was .in pi eces . How long does Mi g fe'st-class record tct .wcaf oixLl" '