THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXI, Issue 130, 4 June 1930, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.) THE GOAT'S BREAKFAST. "Fernando Esperillo, a farmer of Spain, was afraid of being robbed. On returning home from market he put -four hundred pesetas (eleven pounds) into a bag which he hid'in tho stable. Next morning he visited the stable in time to find a contented goat munching the last fragments of the bag and contents.' — Cablegram. Every fretting farmer who has failed to. keep his herd in hand Ought to take a lesson, from the avarice of Ferdinand. Now you'll' see how easily he did by overdoing it Lose his lovely lucre through an animal a-chewing it. Ferdi. was a fellow keen on saving with impunity. Billy Goat enjoyed the bliss of stomach ache's immunity. Fcrdi., fearing felons who would like .to take his roll away, . , Had a clever, crafty thought and . sniggeringly stole away; Hid it in the stable which he used to keep his horses in (There he kept the books that had his profits and his losses in). Hilly, who possessed the greatest gastronomic bravery, Disapproved of Ferdi.'s act of simple-minded knavery. Blatantly he nibbled, and he shortly got his noodle in. Munching up the money and the bag he kept the boodle in. Ferdi. thus in anger had to strike a rather chilly note— Lost his bills, but still retained a much-dishonoured billy goat! —B.C.H.

Reference was made in this column by a correspondent to the visit of King Edward to Lord Chaplin at Blankney Hall, in Lincoln. The same corresAN pondent mentions the AMATEUR BAND, death of Helen Countess of' Radnor in her eightyfourth year. She was for long a notable figure in society, where her musical gifts especially made her a welcome guest. She formed and conducted a famous amateur orchestra which was known by her name. The only daughter of the Rev. Henry Chaplin, vicar of Ryhall, Rutland, by his marriage to Caroline, daughter of William Ellice, M.P., and niece of "Bear" Ellice, she was the sister of the Squire of Blankney, who was created first Viscount Chaplirii Her orchestra, known at first as Lady Folkestone's and then as Lady Radnor's Band, was a string band composed of young ladies of birth who were made to take their, duties very seriously. Fifteen annual concerts were given ])j the band under her conductorship at the old St. James' Hall and elsewhere in London, and also in the provinces, much to the benefit of various good causes.

Lord Bledisloe recently showed to guests at Auckland Government House an autograph photograph of Earl Balfour —one of the last the great statesman signMISSING ed. It will be remembered SIGNATURE, that even in his old age

Earl Balfour played a good game of tennis. It is remembered, too, that he greatly improved in his game under the sympathetic eye of New Zealand's own Anthony Wilding, killed in the war. In 1914 Mr. Balfour, as he then was, partnered the champion New Zealander at Nice. On one occasion Anthony declared that Mr. Balfour could beat any. member of the Imperial Cabinet. Then he corrected himself and said, "No! There is one Cabinet Minister who could give you points and a. beating." (This was before E. F. Smith, Lord Birkenhead, had joined the British Cabinet.) Wilding asked Mr. Balfour if he would issue a challenge to any Cabinet Minister he could produce. Mr. Balfour was persuaded to agree. "Then, if you please, put it on paper now," •■' said the New Zealander. In vain they sought a scrap of paper. Mr. Balfour's,'hat was lying near. '•Write the challenge on the lining!" said Anthony, tossing the hat over. The statesman smilingly did so. Nobody knows where that Balfour signature is now! The Cabinet Minister whom Wilding secretly backed to beat Balfour was F. M. B. Fisher,' the New Zealand politician and some time Minister.

"Football Through the Ages" in the "Star," fascinating as it- was,"does not mention oldtime Rugby at Rugby when fifty or sixty boys of one "house" BIG SIDE. played all'the rest of the

„ school—all play and no spectators except the halt, the lame, the blind, and the masters. The "big-side" match described in "Tom Brown's School Days" shows that anybody joined in, that anybody knocked off for a bit to buy oranges or drink beer ('.) and that it really didn't matter : if the fifty or two hundred and fifty side won as long as it was a game. The modern plan in which thirty play and fifteen thousand look oh and exercise their lungs will never again be degraded to a mere game for everybody. It is inconceivable, for instance, that fifteen All Blacks play five hundred spectators, or fifteen All British meet one thousand spectators at Big Side. A return to the dreadfully democratic games of our fathers might in time even induce communal prize fights in which ringside audiences joined in for the fun of the game. Organised exclusive athletic contests including football for the few are at least superior to the gladiatorial contests of ancient Rome, where so very few were killed and the audiences barracked in safety and comfort. And there hasn't been any big-side bull fights yet!

Authorities disagree as to whether Bill put ten pounds or ten shillings on King's Jest, but the reason is this: William and his friend Henry were, prior to the GREAT King's Birthday, discuss: EXPECTATIONS, ing an expected event, the races, the weather, and what not. Of course, being men, they were facetious, although Bill showed an expectant paternal anxiety not to be disguised by his apparent levity. "It might be a boy!" said Bill; "or a girl," he added. "Or twins!" said Harry softly. "Me luck might be. in," said Wulliam. "It might," said Harry. "Put a few bob (or pounds) on King's Jest." Xext clay King's Jest came home. So did the little stranger. "A good day for the King to make a joke!" said William.

Apropos Indies who are forgetful, vide "A Little Tiling" paragraph, there is the true tale of the young woman who went shopping in a verv large Queen Street THE REUNION, soft goods"emporium. Sho

preferred not to take the baby and the go-cart up in the lift, and therefore parked them in safety near the lift entrance in a snug little corner. She ascended to the realms of bliss several storeys up and made numerous purchases. Loaded with these exquisite trophies of a perfect morning, she descended, left the shop, took a tram down to the ferry wharf, and, having twenty minutes to spare, chatted with an acquaintance on the wharf. "Do you know," she said, "I believe | I've forgotten something," laying her parcels on the seat one by one. "There's the georgette, and the crepe de chine, the pair of shoes, the stockings, and the pair of shoe laces, and a stick of shaving soap for dad. I wonder what it is I've forgotten?" She thought deeply for a few seconds and then leaped wildly to her feet, saying, "Oh, my baby!" in a trembling voice. She rushed off the wharf, flew, into a taxi and within two minutes was hugging an infant who greatly resented the °°sudden awakening by ma. THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. The soul is not where it lives, but where it loves. —Anon. * * • There is no cutting of the Gordian knots of life; each must be smilingly unravelled.— ■Stevenson* . .