THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXI, Issue 102, 2 May 1930, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT.TOWN.) THE DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER. A correspondent sends the following, written by one Edmund Vance Cobke: — She was a doctor's child, and he embraced the From OP n P li r d""ease to make her free with absolute he, "as I endorse prevention of ThlsS-toxin from a horse should kill some bad This vaccine virus from a cow (and I endorse it Should help along, and anyhow 'twill make the child feel 'bully.' . .. . Of snake-bite serum just a touch; we get it rroni the rabbit, . ~ -~_ m-»_ Which we have bitten up so much it really likes Some meningitis toxin, too, would better be A guinea C pig we strain it through to get It disinfected. _, .. Some various serums or my own I m rather sure will answer; ~ I make them for all troubles known, from freckles up to cancer." Alas! alas! for all his pains the end was scarce desirous, , ' . . ' , She soon had nothing in her veins but various kinds of virus. . ■ ''■'■■■ . . Part horse, part cow, part sheep, part goat; her laugh was half a whinny. "Dear me," said he, "she's half a stoat, and badly mixed with guinea. . A girl who bleats and chews a cud will never make a woman. . I'd better get some good clean blood and make her partly human."

Isn't Lord Bledisloe rather fracturing our traditions by going out shooting ducks and giving them a chance? Mentioned that he didn't sweep the water YOUR BIRD, SIR! with a left and right, but let 'em rise until there was some skill about it. It is confidently believed that his Excellency wouldn't use a pump gun, or shoot 'em sitting, or use decoys or squeakere, or shoot a boatful for sale, or sit in a "louvre" concealed from the birds so as to get 'em .by the dozen. One fears he wouldn't blaze at a white starling or an albino crane, biff the pheasants in the off season, shoot hens, use worms for trout or invade sanctuaries to obtain specimens (for stuffing) of the rest of our remaining native birdo. Mention that native birds are increasing in our sanctuaries is merely to emphasise that many uncivilised sportsmen are the reason for the necessity of sanctuaries. Mind you, the cry "Let's go out and kill something!" is not exclusive to the British. One notes that the following birds are now protected by the Administrator of Samoa (unfortunately M.A.T. has not the time to set it to music): Tu Aimeo (Stair's Dove), Manumea (Toothbilled Pigeon), Stair's Megapode, Manuma (Purple-belted Painted Pigeon), Manualii, or Manusa (Swamp Hen). Mr. Temple Perkins, a high official of Uganda, made Rotarian duck hunters' flesh creep the other flay when he mentioned that man-eating lions had killPLEASE'M, ed one hundred and fifty THE DOCTOR, natives in the Congo in a short space of time, but that he and others had cleaned all the lions up. The value, however, of the par. about Mr. Perkins is that it reminds M.A.T. of his father, Dr. A. Temple Perkins, a link with the comparatively recent days when doctors drove in gigs and horses were as necessary to a doctor's kit as stethoscopes and Number Nines. He could not be mistaken for anything else, but a doctor, for the days of motor cars were young. Hβ has been seen by M.A.T. on a villainous dark and rainy morning in Wellington when it was blowing great guns immaculately clad and with his silk hat still firmly adhering after the passage of Kilbirnie Hill. He did not suffer fools gladly, although he was well acquainted with M.A.T. He reprehended the modern democratic fashion of being expected to mix on equal terms for life with a horny-handed patient because one has aided a young horny-hand into the world. He mentioned the case of a horny-handed Mrs. Gamp (now happily no longer a feature of sickrooms), who, faced Avith the suppression of a hemorrhage, placed her foot on a floor rag, tearing a piece off to bind the patient. He" had an immaculate frock coat and ae kind a heart as ever beat under one.

A correspondent writing to the Takapuna Borough Council suggested the provision of collapsible bathing sheds. The mere tyro in these matters would have THE suggested bathing sheds BATHING SHED, concreted to the earth, spiked to the frames with ten-inch nails, and with a couple of tons of ballast on top. On the other hand, collapsible sheds Avould simplify removal and make it unnecessary for citizens desiring summerhouees to bring axes, hammers and jemmies. The correspondent's letter included a plea for collapsible chairs, too. The picker-up. of unconsidered triiles, who is so common an object of the seashore in and around Auckland, is all on the eide of the correspondent. In a reference to soldiers' medals the'other day M.A.T. mentioned that by pure luck he had in his possession a Queen's South African War medal which had THE MEDAL. been found on the railway line near Tauranga. It had been issued to No. 69, James McCauley, N.Z.M.E., and had the clasps Diamond Hill, Johannesburg, Driefontein, Paardeburg and Relief of Kimberley, all historic engagements. A curiosity about the medal was that it was found many years ago by Mr. E. Lockett, a one-armed railwayman, who had been a fellow soldier with the late James McCauley. Mention of the medal in this column has led to its restoration to McCauley's family—Mrs. Vivienne Constance Holstein, one of the daughters of the late soldier, receiving it from M.A.T. Apropos Tuesday's clap of thunder, which received a free notice in this column with the remark that efforts of Nature like that frequently put the wind up NERVES. the citizen, a gentleman calls to confirm it. He was standing on the steps of a business house when the crack came. Suddenly he felt himself clasped round the neck. "Lady 1" asked M.A.T. "Gentleman!" said he. He also declared that for a moment the male clasper knew nothing of the embrace, but then, finding himself eling 5 - ing to George, apologised nicely. It reminded M.A.T. of,the kauri tree. A picnic party was traversing a Thames creek. A splendid'kauri tree was burning. It had probably been set on fire by some gumdigging lunatic, who thought sixpennywrrth of gum more valuable than a thousand-pound tree. As the party passed in the distance the giant fell with a tremendous crash. A little girl jumped nervously, and, clapping her hand to her mouth, said, "Oh, mummy, that tree fell on mv tooth!"

It was the dear little fellow's birthday, and as he went to school he purchased with hie birthday money three large cakes of chocolate. Arrived at school, he SHARE ALIKE, took them to his teacher, and said, "Please mind this chocolate for me. I'm saving a quarter of one of them for my little brother." A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. A bullfi; lit is a comfortable spectacle to those who are not in the arena; and a house on iire is better than a play to those who don't live near it.—Charles Dickens.