ANDOM SHOTS BY ZAMIET

Auckland Star, Volume LX, Issue 134, 8 June 1929, Page 2 (Supplement)

ANDOM SHOTS BY ZAMIET

I understand that no important new scientific fact has emerged from Auckland's controversy on evolution.

Mr. Ramsay Mac Donald says Labour owes its victory to the women, particularly the young women. I hope he will bear in mind tie possibility that the women will change their minds.

The Minister of Education should be called in to help in settling the controversy over the South Island Main Trunk railway. He might be asked for a definition of the word "pay."

One pleasure has been denied students of British politics. Not a word has been cabled of fyord Birkenhead's comment on the result of the British election. Perhaps the cabling machinery was hot enough already.

A proposal ia afoot to commemorate the achievement of Sir John Alcock and Sir Arthur Brown, who were the first to fly across the Atlantic. Yes, it was the same Atlantic that was afterwards flown by the Americans.

"The recent explosion at the Takaka police station is thought to have been intended as a joke. It is believed that a plug of dynamite was thrown over the fence." How the policeman and his family must have laughed!

After much experience of delinquent children, a magistrate says that some of them, thoug-h perhaps only sixteen, are very old. No doubt he would agree that eome of these old children gained a lot of their over-confidence through association with childish adults.

Archbishop Julius urges returned sol-, diera to "stand up and tell people what war really is." I fear that if returned soldiers did so, and the newspapers published what they said, many subscribers would write to the editors and complain that it wasn't fit for their families to read.

An Auckland golfer drove a ball from the tee, and it came to rest 160 yards away, in another player's pocket. I understand that there is nothing unusual in one man's ball finding its way into another's pocket. The novelty of this incident is that the owner of_ the ball found out whose pocket it was in.

"Plenty of people, both in Australia and in New Zealand, deplore the way the two countries are drifting apart." They might drift a long way farther before some English people would be aware that New Zealand cannot be reached from Australia by taking a train.

Mr. John Galsworthy has been decorated with the Order of Merit. Remembering the famous remark about a still more famous Order (famous socially), the Garter, that there was "no damned merit about it," admirers of Mr. Galsworthy may still feel glad that he escaped the 0.8. E.

The Minister of Justice, after firmly refusing to direct that Courts be closed during the hearing of domestic cases, expressed approval of the practice in one Court of having all such cases heard "in the upstairs room." Does he hope that the idly curious will be too lazy to climb the stairs'?

It is rumoured that strong representations regarding taxation may be made, to the Minister of Finance by the bookmaking industry. I* will be pointed out that the bookmakers, although heavily taxed, never know when they will be called on to pay, and that, having paid, they never know when they will have to pay again.

A feature of the new British Parliament is the number of family groups elected. I don't know whether Mr. Baldwin and his son, being on opposite sides, can be called a group. Perhaps in the next Parliament we shall see. a man and his wife elected on opposite sides. It would be very convenient when either wanted a "pair."

The public has read a great deal about Arapuni these last two years, but the best thing that has been said about it was that & had started supplying power to Auckland. Let us hope now that we hear no more about it, for if it continues to find a place in the news it will be because something is wrong.

«WHI N."

An epidemic of a mild form of influenza has been running its course through Auckland City and suburbs.

When you have got a racking cough that wheezes In paroxysms of annoying length; When you're the victim of resounding ima'zinTfor their amplitude and strength; When your complexion is a chalky pallor, \nd perspiration beads your noble brow— When every movement of your eyeballs Reminds you of Sahara's desert sand; When all you've got within your skull Is And eardrums rattle fit to "beat the band"; When all your teeth are "set on edge, and "chatter," ~ When lips and tongue are gray as rubber I say again, "Don't ask what is the matter?" Just beat it where your frame can have repose. When every nerve you've got is simply screaming .a. ... It's had enough and now is off on strike; When you yourself may be awake or dreaming— ■ . , You don't care which—just have it how you like; When every tortured muscle, bone and sinew, And every inch of cuticle and hair Unite to ache—You've got a germ within you; Go home at once, and exorcise him there. When eyesight fades to fuzzy incoherence, When hearing is a dim and distant blur; When taste is just a chew and disappearance; When smell's a sense that nothing seems to stir; When up and down what was your spinal column There gallop fiends with hot electric feet; I mean it friend —upon my oath I'm solemn ! Get under blankets and admit defeat. What's that you say? "No need to get excited ioout a little harmless winter cold!" "You'll- stick it out!" "Your health andi youth united Will prove that you at least aren't growing old!" All right, all right! Then when the undertaker Inserts a little one-inch a«J. for you ; He'll write it thus: "Gone! So-and-So—a fakir Who tried to bluff it when he got the flu." —E. A. i