THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LX, Issue 52, 2 March 1929, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By TH6 MAN ABOUT tOWN.) A FAT FUTURE. Professor A. M. Low, of London, predicts that man in the future will not take regular food, but will subsist on tabloids. Children will be brought up 011 rays and fed on tabloids. "Heh, Bill, we've pot some rocks to shift A htliidred yards or so. Let's have a right Rood solid feed Before it's time to go. Corn beef and cabbage. currant dun. Some bread ahd cheese and beer. Some kumarus and lmpuka. Or schnafrper. Oh. what cheer! "No food for me," says good Old Bin. "I'll come when 1 have had A glass of water and feed Of one good meaty tab." The banquet's spread, the Ministers And Premier grace the board. Oh. what a very lovely sight The table doeß afford ! Fish, entree, joints, soiip, poultry, sweets, And Oysters all are there, Meringues and cookies all around. With dainty sweet eclair. The host parades the frightened cook, He seems a bit annoyed, Ahd. sweeping all the food away. Gives each his small tabloid. Ahd mother, formerly employed In feeding little babes (Assisted by the common cow And even Nature's aids). Will jettison the ancient, things. And when the baby needs Some tUcker she'll at once apply Its hypodermic feeds. No table setting, washing-up, No cookifig stoves for us. No restaurants, no hotel meals. No teeth nor any fuss. No grocer's stores, ho butcher's shops. No tucker bills to pay When everyone upon the earth Lives on three "tabs" a day.

A bit of cabletl misery gives the opinion of a pessimistic scientist that in the future mankind will not live by liredn alone but oil tabloids. Very likely the THE BEST SAUCE. s.-ipiiti«t himself requires >< it lit ilie* attention. Old soldiers will n'mcinivr the tabloid system of war time. The einer. :'!icy ration one Remembers best was h bine tin bisected with a wire. One compartment contained animal food that tasted like desiccated bones and the other concentrated cocoa. The soldier was forbidden to open his emergency ration unless he was in dire need, dud he was, to put it mildly, in dire need three times a day. One soldier found himself far from home and the Ritz Hotel, an aching void under his haversack and s thirst that Would be useful in the said Ritz. He possessed one emergency rations which the authorities had told him would prevent starvation for A clay or two. The presence of six men Who would never need their rations anjr more gave him in all seven rations. He undid them all with a bayonet and consumed the seven at a single sitting. He now had food in him (according to scientists) to stave his hunger off for fourteen days, so when an unexpected Eatfol showed Up with much bully, biscuits and iltong he merely needed a pound of bully, three biscuits and about a foot of biltong, together with a quart of coffee and a chew of tobacco. He has ever since admired the sustaining quality of food in relatively tabloid form.

PERSONALITY OF THE WEEK

Mr A. h. Curne is the quiet gentleman from the t ro\vn Law Offi. e, who is conducting the case for the Crown in the police inquiry. Mb a ' K restrained and MR. A. E CtJRRIE. devoid of bluster, and r,,„ , , . J** arranged that fearful y voluminous file with a meticulous accuracy rare in poets. For he is a maker of \l' se - He is a boj \Vent to the Boys' High School and Canterbury College, alul his bent is distinctly literary. He was joint editor with W. F. Alexander of the excellent little anthology of ?sew Zealand poetry issued in the "Canterbury Poets but how out of print. These Verses, together with many additions, are to be found in Messrs. Alexander and Curried "A "freasurv country! Vc ' rSO '" l»« ,J in this

. a -\ Plo >"lence bless wandering experts, Who, not seeing with New Zealanders' eves believe m keepihg New Zealand for ever New FBIENIX! Zealand. It has not been FRIENDS !\cw /ealanders who have FROM AFAR, beseeched us to preserve hot a New Zealander who observed "thai flora on Rangitoto was unique, but a man wlm WUI yroUMy nevpr t\ "2 \° is a feat for a stranger to make anv kind of a New Zealand board see through his e"?, ert ijes. tor our part, we shall probablv have to gaze on Rangitoto till the Old Man with the scythe reaps us. and heaven knows we can see plenty of blackberry preserves and nine parks without making Rangitoto a paradise of thoins and cones. Tf you want to sec with , V ,ne trees push New scenery off the map. you merely have to <-r> to places round Auckland where' the land has been neglected while owners wait for Ueglad f p'r" ("K orth * a toot. J arts of Kawau give an excellent indication, and on the far north shore the foreigners hide the few lone kauris StizJns ache to burn down. It is gladdening to know that Neu Zealand is becoming a sports trronm* for people from afar who are not onlv ya a wth ,„ T y hM «ed who makes any kind of board remark 41! ' what we think," is worth the belt kir, J / S hotel We can build for him. a

late van™, ZIX",Ve M ° ! adopted and are m train to isolate that dreaded THE BUZZ. that° °it th f " i?M -"./ ,K o ills considered Far Xorth, to TitirangHr 40 and swampy parts to obtain the desired XT uTk "T "«o n^Tli t»i*. If the huntera" will onlv JL Richmond bus or Grey Lynn o-ir f terminus of either service they wi'S bfln V* 1 ® proximity to Larchwood l Z guarantee they will obtain all the S L,? under heaven, and, more than th.t P Cles get bitten, and w'ell thl't 7" inquiries anion" the resident* »u - . lew the gully in L.*rJhwS ""»«* «* repay the trouble, and many wilT £ it" uncomplimentary remarks repawn* wg of rubbish in this locality —J dump-