THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LX, Issue 22, 26 January 1929, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

PERSONALITY OF THE WEEK.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

An unpleasant little incident. The lorry driver sat on his perch thinking of nothing, waiting perhaps for a customer. In that distant suburb the populaANGRT WALKER, tion does not seethe and

the only other person in sight was a large citizen of formidable appearance. He beckoned to the lorry driver. The lorry driver, scenting work, descended from hie perch and walked over. The formidable stranger said: "Yes, that's right! It was you, all right!" and smote him with enthusiasm on the jaw. "You nearly ran me down yesterday," he said quietly. "Don't you ever do it again!" That was all.

Pathetic to read that Wilhelm Hohenzol--Icm, who spent so much time lopping family trees, in his seventy-first year passes his time chopping unresisting logs. WILHELM'S The cables inform us that WOODHEAP. a posse of his former admirale and generals, many, one fears, being octogenarians and no longer able to break nine over a hundred yards, have been invited to Doom to see Wilhelm's woodheap. It would intrigue the average bushtnan to know how Wilhelm goes about it, as he has but one workable arm, the other being paralysed. In bis long life of photography the ex-Kaiser has endeavoured with notable success to induce the world to believe he is two-armed. It is not impossible for a one-armed man to achieve mastery of the axe, for oiw Mullins, a Victorian having but a left arm, was accounted one of the best axemen in that country of axemen. The difference between Mullins and Wilhelm is that you couldn't drag an admiral or a general along to see Mullins' woodheap. Mullins' lugs were firewood. WUhelni's logs are history.

The name of the Hon. Thomas Kay Sidey will go ringing down the corridors of time as the man who put the clock on. The new

Attorney . General and HON. X. K. SIDEY. Leader of the Legislative - . .. , Council is a gentleman of bright parts, incurably addicted to public life. Hβ has no enemies and he has been a member of the House of Representatives for twentyseven years. He was called to the bar at the age of twenty-six, graduating at the Otago University. His tastes are catholic, for he has been three times Mayor of Cavereham chairman of the Otago High School Board' Chan* cejlor of his University, president of the New Zealand Natives' Association and of the Dunedin Horticultural Society. For many vears people cackled when Mr. Sidey attempted "to introduce "SideyreaT time, but he did it. He is a bookieh man, and in the matter of possession? he is comfortable. Hie age is sixty-five years.

The Auckland merchant has been to Rotorua, where one refreshes one's mental processes by meeting people from otherwhere.

PKAcncAWT -ep jut jrtsa NAKED, gentleman, a typical John Bull. And in con versa • tion he Haul; "I came to Australia in an American steamer, and, would you believe it, sip, neither the firgt nor the second engineer had a certificate!" "What," exclaimed the Aueklander, "do you mean to teU me they'd let a big steamer go to sea with uncertified engineers?" "I do, sir! Of course, these two fellows had a American ticket of some kind, but neither had a British Board of Trade certificate!"

The leading citizen i s self-centred. He watches his wheel and the road, sees no one either to right or to left, and has never bowtal

anybody over yet. lie ftßt ™ 68 he TOver will. His BRIDGE PARTY, wit* plays bridge. She ..... . pl«jed it on a recent night with distant friends and had hoped that th* leading citizen would call in his ear before morning and take her home. It wasn't a win. mng night for her, and die and her friend disappointed In the ear, raced for the last tram and saw it leaving. Nothing to do but walk So they set out and tramped. As they were doing the third mile a huge ear dashed past. They screamed, hoping to stay it and get a lift. Nary lift. The car ate up the distanee So the two ladies, very, very tired, walko-1 home, Ihe leading eitizen was sitting up for his wife and he was annoyed, "I've been awfully anxious." he said, wWevsr have yon been? I don't think this i 8 playing the game. «c" " *or her part, she was annoyed, too. Some road hog," she said, "whizzed pant us on the road and wouldn't pull up," heavens!" panted the leading citlasm. "Was that you on the road? I thought it was eon.e disorderly person. But there, for heaven's sake don t let it occur again!" And so to bed.

M.C.C. In its "Sportfolio" the "Times , ' of India has arranged the English team perpendicularly. Tlyld E elcy Ham mo N d G eary Ley L and Wh I tc Hobb S H endren C hapman F H eeuiaii Jard I ne Snt C liffe Duo K worth M K ad T ate Am K s La A wood S tuples THOUGHTS FOR TO-PAY. It'* but little good you'll do a-watering the last year's crop.—George Eliot. • • • He that would have what he hath not should do what he doth not.—George Herbert. • m • To reach the regions of light we must pass through the clouds.—-Joubert. • • • There is no hill too steep for two.—Kipling, - -