POLITICAL QUIPS.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 260, 2 November 1928, Page 10

POLITICAL QUIPS.

FROM VARIOUS PLATFORMS.

UGHTER SIDE OF POUCTICS.

A "FIGHTING" CANDIDATE.

"I would not be frightened to fight Tom Heeney providing I could fix my own condition" said Mr W. E Parry Labour candidate for Auckland Central, speaking at the Trades Hall last evening in instancing the attempts made by the Government to restrict Labour comment during the recent session by continually crying that what the Opposition said was purely for political reasons. "I would say," he added, "no hitting below the belt and tie the belt around my head." (Laughter.)

WITH APOLOGIES TO LOWGFELLOW Belmont electors dissolved in laughter last night when Mr. R. H. Greville. United candidate for Waitemata, told them that he had received an anonymous poem, relating to Mr. Harris , advocacy of the harbour bridge project. The reree, signed "United," was written in the centre of a huge sheet of paper.— • stood on the' Shore at midnight. "When a thought came into my head. It's sixteen years since he mentioned the bridge • — I really thought he wae dead! "And *hat expresses the position far better than any words of mine," wae Mr. Greville's only comment. (Applause and laughter.) STRAWS INDICATE THE WIND. "For the first time in my life, I am almost persuaded to transfer my allegiance" —this statement coming from a gentleman well known throughout the district for his enthusiastic, even violent support of the Reform party, was the gratifying tribute paid to Mr. G. C. Munns, United party candidate for Roskill, at the close of his address to a crowded audience in the Capitol Theatre last evening. Prolonged applause greeted the announcement. THE SPEAKERSHIP. "If, in the event of you being elected, would you, Mr. Joiner, accept the Speakership of the House V Mr. Joiner: Certainly I would. WILL BE WELL UP. During hia particularly lively meeting at the corner of Wellington and Hobson Streets last evening, Mr. Joiner, Independent candidate for City Central, said on one of the few chances he got to make a remark, "I am going to get a lot of votes, and some of you will be surprised when you see the result of the poll." A Voice: You will be well up the pole, Jim!

"THE REASON WHY." ' "Wealthy people stick to the Keform party because they have got brains," declared Mr. V. H. Potter, Keform candidate for Eden, last evening. ".Some without brains, too," called an elector rudely. "And if you ever get wealthy you will be one of us," retorted the candidate.

A CONCEALED HAND. "All these things promised, by the United party if they get into power will have to be paid for," said Mr. J. S. Dickson, Reform candidate for Parnell, when speaking at Green Lane. He then asked: "How are you going to do it, where will you get the money from?" and a voice from the gallery replied: "We are not going to tell you everything!" which evoked a lot of laughter. This was followed by another statement, "Joey has learned them something, anyhow."

MR. JENKINS GIVES NO PLEDGES. Stating that hie word was hie bond, Mr. H. R. Jenkins, United candidate for Parnell, told his Kohimarama audience last night that he had given no pledges, to any organisation in connection with the licensing question. "I have given no pledge whatsoever," said the candidate. "People must take, my word. I desire to be a free man, as the representative of this constituency. I have not pledged myself to the New Zealand Alliance nor to any other organisation."

REFORM'S VOTE SPLITTING. "1 assure you, ladies and gentlemen, that the Reform party are bankrupt of ideas, bankrupt of men and bankrupt oi policy," asserted Mr. Jenkins, United candidate for Parnell at Kohimarama last night. "Irione electorate in Auckland they have put up a man whom they know has no chance whatsoever of being returned. This has been done in an endeavour to split the vote, so that the present Labour man will be returned. And yet Reform constantly harps on the note that a vote for United candidates is a vote for Labour. (Ironical laughter and applanse.)

AGITATORS AND STRIKE-MAKERS. The "independent workers of the world" were well to the foro at the Empress Theatre last night. A man with a raucous voice was insistent in a query as to whether Mr. Fletcher would support working class representation at Geneva, while from several portions of the hall came expressions of opinion that the I.W.W. should be supported.

The I.W.W. are agitators and strikemakers," said Mr. Fletcher, "and it ia unthinkable to allow the League to be controlled by such people." Mr. Fletcher said labour was now represented at Geneva by the High Commissioner and others. As special labour representation would cost about £6000 per annum of the taxpayers' money, he could not support the proposal.

A PRINTER'S SLIP. * Germany is borrowing at two and aquarter per cent," stated a member of the audience at Mr. J. S. Fletcher's "E J? g l ? st ni S ht - He "wished to knovr whether New Zealand could obtain the same favourable terms. When asked by the candidate the source of his informat£ n «^L < V n T lirer eaid he had ™ad it in the Daily Mail." "Unfortunately," he continued, «I co U l d off the gentleman who had it! » men the laughter had subsided, Mr. Fletcher eaid it must have been a misprint.