POLITICAL VAUDEVILLE.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 259, 1 November 1928, Page 11

POLITICAL VAUDEVILLE.

FUN AT GREY LYNN.

«VLL WIN BY A HEAD."

N.Z.'S FAMOUS RACEHORSES.

It is doubtful whether any farce comedy thrown on the screen at the Adelphi Theatre, Grey Lynn, raised as much hearty laughter as did the official Reform candidate for Grey Lynn, Mr. 1. B Pitzherbert, who addressed his B , econd meeting there last evening. Mr. A. A. Piesse was in the chair, and tne theatre was nearly full. Mr. Fitzherbert, who spoke for nearly an hour, on nearly everything but serious politics, was delightfullv mirth-pro-voking His audience laughed at him and with him. Certainly nobody seemed to enjoy himself more than the candidate.

Apologising for his late entry into the political arena, Mr. Fitzherbert said that tlus placed his opponents at an advantage, for already quite a number of Reformers in Grey Lynn had pledged themselves to other candidates. "I would have won in a canter, had I entered three weeks ago." (Laughter.) ,__ A* it is I'll win by a head,," he added. Now it has been circulated that I'm a Roman Catholic," said Mr. Fitzherbert. You might be better for that," said a voice.

"My father was Church of England, my mother a Presbyterian, while I'm Church of England myself," he said. *'I have not met any of my opponents, but they are of good character and worthy of my steel. (Laughter.) I think I can say the same about myself." "Give us some politics," said a man in the front stalls.

"All right," said Mr. Fitzherbert, who criticised Sir Joseph Ward's leadership of the United party. "Joey is a fine statesman and an undoubted Imperialist. (Applause.) He is a man who did a great deal of hard work, but he's no good unless he's working under a hard and strong man like Seddon or Mr. Massey. Ward showed his old form in th© Coalition Government, but he left the late Mr. Massey to clean up the mess after the war. That's Sir Joseph the magnificent, the last of the Liberals." (Cries of "Hot!") "As for Veitch. he's a rail-sitter."

"What are you, then?" asked a man in the circle. "I'm a Reformer." "But you were Labour at the last election; you're a twister." Mr. Fitzherbert: I fought a good battle for Labour last time in Patea. I found disloyalty to the party, that's why I left Labour.

''That's why Joey deserted Massey," said another interjector. "You're a Character." "Now I've dealt with the United party, I'll give you something about the Country party. It has only one plank—Free Trade," said the speaker. He then switched over and said that he knew both Harry Holland and Peter Fraser. "Let me tell you this," he said. "All this talk in the papers about Labour and revolution is all rot." (Loud applause.) A Voice: By jove, you're a character,, Mr. Fitzherbert. It'll be a good go between you and Mrs. Paterson. (Laughter.)

Mr. Fitzherbert paused for a moment or so and then asked his audience whether they would like to hear anything about dairy control. "It's a dry subject, you know," he said. "Will I tell you about it?" (Cries of "No.") "Very well, I'll leave dairy control. (Laughter.) I'll give you something else. Now about the limit of deposits in Savings Banks. I

"I think that £2000 should be the limit. Any man that has got £2000 these days is lucky. I've not got 500 pence.' Headings Only.

After the laughter subsided the candidate picked up from the table a whole pile of notes. "Oh dear me," he said, "I'll never get through all this stuff. I'm not Gordon Coates, you know." (Laughter.) "Give us a song then," suggested someone.

"No, I think I'll give you the headings only. Now there's hydro-electricity. That's going all right, so I'll put that down," said Mr. Fitzherbert, as he laid another sheet on the table. "Highways you know all about, so I'll put that away, too." (Laughter.) "That's right, put it away, Arch," said a man amidst great laughter. After giving five reasons for unemployment, Mr. Fitzherbert concluded by stating that New Zealand was "God's Own Country." A Voice: Yes, and the devil's own leader. (Laughter.) "It's a great country, look what it's produced—Gloaming, Limerick, Prince Humphrey; and just look at Dick Arnst, the sculler; Anthony Wilding, world's champion tennis player; and— "Give us some politics. Are you in the contest for a joke," came from a man in the stalls.

"Watch Your Step, Boy."

"You watch your step, boy. I'm supposed to bo like Tom Heeney," said the candidate. "I've nothing more to say and must thank you for the attentive hearing you have given me." A man who went away with the candidate after the meeting moved a vote of thanks. "I'll be a sport and second it," said a man in the front row. The vote was carried.

WAITEWATA CONTEST.

LADIES' MEETING AT NORTHCOTE

The United candidate for Waitemata, Mr. R. H. Greville, addressed a very successful meeting of ladies in the theatre at Norfchoote yesterday afternoon. The Mayor (Mr. A. E. Greenslade) presided. Asked if he favoured the bare majority on the licensing question, the candidate replied that he was not yet satisfied that prohibitiou was a success in the United States. He thought the majority to carry prohibition should be rather more than a bare majority, say five per cent more.

There should be an interval of. five years between polls. He favoured the three-issue ballot paper, the issue of State Control providing an alternative to indicate the wishes of those who were not prohibitionists, and did not desire a continuance of present conditions. He had an open mind on the Bible-in-schools, and subject to a conscience clause, saw no objection to an approved application of religious exercises in schools.

A hearty vote of thanks was accorded the candidate on the motion of Mrs. J. W. McLaughlin, seconded by Mrs. R. H. Daniel.

Many of those present added their named to Mas, gteegjga gom-